~~~* Weekly IVF/TTTC/2IF/Infertility grads check-in 9/30 ~~*~ (day early!)

pblge · September 2014

This check-in is meant for women who had a lot more trouble than most getting pregnant. You don't have to have done IVF to be part of the group, but we do want this limited to those who were diagnosed as infertile by an RE and were using some kind of medical assistance to get pregnant.

What's new with everyone this week? Symptoms to report? Scans? Appointments? Tell us everything!

QOTW: For those who work, have you talked to them about your pregnancy yet? How did it go? If not, when will you? What kind of leave can you or will you take? For those who don't work, are you planning to after baby is born or gets older?

Roll call:

Last week with these:
@EssJayCee - When is your due date?
@nppulliam - When is your due date?

@sweetsurrender9 - April 1
@ImNotARegularMom - April 2
@mrsstubbs87 - April 2
@Lyndsey13 - April 3
@ melissalee.t - April 3
@teambabystone - April 4 (twins!)
@thirdday82 - April 5
@kflynn81 - April 6
@KylesBride - April 6
@nittycola - April 6 _
@Seachele98 - April 6
@ang12346 - April 7
@Alicia_R1 - April 8
@baby_blessings - April 9
@stranzm - April 9
@acrotzer - April 11
@amacksta14 - April 11
@taahira - April 13
@topaz7777 - April 13
@KellyA724 - April 14
@snegde - April 14
@TeeQ - April 14
@jhesterm - April 15
@jmhansen11 - April 15
@KimL725 - April 15
@acrotzer - April 17
@pblge - April 17
@yarnymommy - April 17 (twins!)
@jlb902 - April 18
@jszy10 - April 18
@keifekm - April 18
@fjt908 - April 20
@CBKstar - April 21_
@CaterinaC - April 22
@Grailseeker14 - April 22
@blueberries8 - April 22 (twins!)
@staciealfie - April 22 (twins!)
@chimaerakaren - April 25_
@Canuck13 - April 26
@catlover790 - April 26
@hmbb2300 - April 28 (twins!)
@AMShark - April 29 (twins!)
@Hpearl - April 30
@norsern - May 4 (planned C-section end of April)

April 2015 Angels:
JuneBug629 ((hugs))
kyliehopeful ((hugs))
marshmallowevening ((hugs))
Mommalemon ((hugs))
nycitygirl1 ((hugs))
Sha259 ((hugs))

I know there are more of these, so please remind me!
Vanishing twins:
keifekm
pblge
TeeQ

pblge · September 2014

Posted a day early because tomorrow is my birthday!

It's a Tuesday, so it won't be a wild and crazy night, but figured I'd get this done while I had the time.

No major updates for me. I'm getting a bit sick of feeling crappy and exhausted all the time, so hoping that ends soon. Nine days until my NT scan, and I'm nervous/excited about that. I'm also looking into switching OBs, which is a frustrating process, and we probably won't do it until post-NT scan.

QOTW: I just called human resources today to ask about this, and I'm a bit ticked off. I'm in academia, and my university only gives six weeks paid leave, which I most likely won't even get, as I'm due less than six weeks before the end of the semester! If I want even a day off paid before baby arrives, the university says I must take sick leave. We don't accrue sick leave very quickly, as our schedules are so flexible that mostly sick days are just "work at home days," which means I don't even have enough sick time for a week pre-baby. If all goes well at my NT scan, I'll sit down with my dean and director of the program to negotiate a plan, which I hope will be better than working up until the second the baby pops out. I have no idea what they'll do, as I'm expected to have this baby before my classes' final papers are due, so someone else will need to grade those. Of course, this is all assuming that things go according to plan, which is a big assumption! The up-side is that I'll have the summer, but I'll be expected to be back full time in August.

KellyA724 · September 2014

12 weeks today! Getting so close to 2nd tri, but the time is just d.r.a.g.g.i.n.g. NT scan is this Friday. My blump is getting hard to hide and I'm having some stretching feelings going on in there. Otherwise nothing else is new!

QOTW:

For those who work, have you talked to them about your pregnancy yet? Two of my bosses knew we were going through IVF, so they know. I had to let them know because I didn't know when exactly I'd be taking days off - I wanted to make sure they'd be understanding about it. A few of the people who work for me know as well, just because I'm not putting in the hours that I usually do.

How did it go? Fine, nothing really to report.

If not, when will you? I'll tell everyone else once we get through our big October 15th deadline (unless my blump turns into a bump before then and I can't hide it at all).

What kind of leave can you or will you take? I actually get 12 weeks paid. I feel so spoiled - the rules changed last year for people at my level and above. I may take another couple of months unpaid, but I'll see how things go. I definitely won't be coming back to work full time.

KellyA724 · September 2014

Happy almost birthday, @pblge !!!

thirdday82 · September 2014

Have my 2nd appointment Thursday. Hoping for a good heartbeat and great news from the doc.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

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[Deleted User] · September 2014

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pblge · September 2014

GrailSeeker14 said:

@pblge - Happy birthday a day early!!! I hope tomorrow is fantastic and that your year ahead is filled with all the good things! Sucks about the leave time situation. My hubby is staff at a university and we were just talking about figuring out how he's going to budget his paid time off/etc because our due date falls right around mid-reviews, which is a busy time in his department. It's all so confusing to work out. I hope your dean and director can come up with a plan with you that you feel comfortable with.

Oh, that's right. I did my doctorate in your fair city (I remember from back on the IF forum), where the quarter system is the norm. There is NOTHING good about the quarter system! Glad your program is being flexible for you!

KimL725 · September 2014

Happy early birthday @pblge!!! Enjoy your day

I had my first OB appt on Thursday and it went great! I really like the office in general and the nurse practitioner I saw, so far so good. Baby was looking good, measuring 2 days ahead of schedule and finally looking like a human for the first time, which was so cool to see.

QOTW: This is something I have been hardcore avoiding. One of my coworkers started trying the same time as us, and we talked a lot about our TTC struggles. I am terrified to tell her- I know she will be happy for me but I remember what it was like to get that news. So I've been saying things to throw her off the trail for the past couple months and now I feel super guilty for lying too. I am 12 weeks Wednesday but I think I will wait and hopefully a good time will come up. Maybe after my NT scan next week. I get 6 weeks paid leave which I was pissed about but at least it's something. I've been saving up my vacation time so hopefully I can squeeze out at least 8 weeks total.

jhesterm · September 2014

I'm 12 weeks tomorrow! Finally! I second the tired of feeling crapy. It's starting to get better but Mondays are the pits for me. I've got my NT scan on my birthday, next Tuesday. After scheduling it I thought I was being a bit daft for scheduling an 8am appt on my 30 birthday and making myself get up so early. Maybe I'll pop off of work early instead. We will announce after we get the all clear. And I'm thinking about seeing how much the harmony test would be since my insurance won't cover it. I'll announce at work sometime soon since it's getting hard to hide that All my weight seems to have moved to my uterus.

catlover790 · September 2014

@pblge‌ Happy almost birthday! I hope you have a great day tomorrow! Sorry for the work difficulties, I hope you can get it figured out!

@KellyA724‌ Yay for 12 weeks!

@GrailSeeker14‌ Congrats on graduating! I hope the time until your OB appointment goes quickly for you! Good luck deciding on all the career stuff too, I'm having some thoughts of what we should do too.

I had my last RE appointment on Friday at 9w6d, but we measured 10w2d! Heartbeat and everything looked good so I was released. I was happy to make it to this point but nervous about seeing a new doctor and having to wait so long between appointments! I have an OB appointment in 2 weeks.

My symptoms have been about the same, nausea all morning. I haven't been sleeping well lately; crazy dreams and my back hurting/ just not comfortable. This makes me sad because I love sleep! We told a couple friends this weekend so I'm starting to get more comfortable with people knowing. I'm excited to be getting closer to second tri!

QOTW: I haven't told work yet and probably will at 12-14 weeks depending on my tummy size, lol. I think it will go well, I'm a teacher and there are mostly women at my school, so this is a common thing they deal with! I am not sure yet if I should go back for the last two weeks of school or not, I could if I have a normal delivery. I want to stay out for the rest of the year, but I feel bad having my students take finals with a sub. What do you all think?

The 6 weeks will be paid, I think it's in the contract and if not I have sick time. Anything after is unpaid which we are okay with. I will probably go back in September even though I'd like to be a SAHM but I don't want a years long gap in my resume. Anyway, lots to figure out still!

teambabystone · September 2014

13 weeks 2 days and today was rough. I posted last week about headaches, and the nurse said she would give me a prescription for it. I told her i wanted to be in the 2nd trimester before i took anything. Well now I think it's my blood pressure causing the headaches. Today my BP was 144/96. And it was also high 3 other times I had it checked. The nurse told me to take Tylenol and hydrate and that we would discuss it all tomorrow at my appointment. Well Tylenol has not worked and I'm staying hydrated. I'm so sick of these headaches. Ready to see my babies tomorrow at our appointment and anxious to get some answers.

I did tell my boss I was pregnant. I told her at 5 weeks simply because she knew about our IVF and I didn't want to lie to her. She was excited for us. And our employer gives us 8 weeks paid maternity leave. But I will more than likely take an extra 2-3 weeks off unpaid.

pblge · September 2014

@KellyA274 - Agree about time dragging. How can it possibly go so slowly? Good luck on your NT scan, and be sure to update us!

@thirdday82 - Good luck Thursday!

@GrailSeeker14 - Sorry you were sick--hope you're feeling better now!

@KimL725 - Sounds like a tough situation at work! IMHO I would recommend telling your coworker sooner rather than later. The friends who hid pregnancies from me because they were scared to tell me hurt my feelings worst of all. Congrats on your great scan!

@jhesterm - Hope you're about to get the best birthday present ever! And I hope that you feel better soon.

@Catlover790 - Sorry you only get six weeks, too.

I've never had a newborn, but I'm still pretty confident that you're not going to want to go back for the last few weeks of the semester! Your students will be fine!

@teambabystone - Sorry about the headaches and the BP! FWIW, I've been having terrible headaches, too, but my BP is quite low--90/45 at last check. I'm pretty sure for me it happens when I'm a little dehydrated, as I usually wake up with a splitting headache that goes away after I drink a lot of water (by about noon, which is when I start to fall asleep at my desk...lots of good times over here), but it could also be the hormones, too. I hope that yours go away soon!

amacksta14 · September 2014

Hola! Things are pretty quiet for me right now. We had our NT scan last Thursday at 11 weeks, 5 days. All went well and he told me to stop stressing. I am off all meds but one and the prenatal and calcium supplement. Woot!! I've been dizzy the last couple of days, but that's it.

QOTW: For those who work, have you talked to them about your pregnancy yet? Yes, I work remotely in a different state and have to travel back once every 6-8 weeks. I wasn't sure if I could travel at first. I told them at 6 weeks. I also have to push up timelines given I won't be able to travel after earlier February.

How did it go? Well, my boss has been dealing with infertility too. His wife lost a baby last year too. Working in a non profit has advantages! They were excited for me.

What kind of leave can you or will you take? I'm in charge of benefits so it's actually ironic I'm one of the first recipients of our new policy. We have employer paid Short Term Disability that will pay 60% of my salary for 5 weeks after a one week waiting period. Then we have 6 weeks 100% paid FMLA. Given my position I can't take all 12 at the same time. We also have employer paid Alfac that pays $1000 for hospital stays. Sadly, I don't get this because I was pregnant prior to the 30 days waiting period.

fro88 · September 2014

pblge! Hope it's a lovely day filled with only good things

No symptoms or scans this week. In fact, lack of symptoms has me antsy (but I read the boards and know it's normal so I try not to fret). Can't wait until next Monday for my 12 week appointment! I wish I could get out of my head with all the 'what does this mean, what does that mean, does this mean I lost the baby, is this the sign of a MMC" because it's not doing me any good! I try to just calllllm down and focus on the good. It usually works

QOTW: I actually work for my father's company, and as he has helped with the financials of the IVF and meds and etc etc etc he already knows whats up. His business partner (and everyone else in the office) does not know yet. I will tell them after my appointment next Monday if all looks good. I believe that the policy is 'officially' 6 weeks paid off, but as I work for my father I assume there might be a biiit of leniency. to be honest, we have yet to discuss it, as I wanted to wait until things had progressed and felt a bit more 'real'. Hopefully he throws a little nepotism my way (screwed up, I know, but I'll take what I can!)

Alicia_R1 · September 2014

Happy birthday @pblge

tomorrow will be 13 weeks, really the major symptom is still the bloat. The MS has pretty much gone away, minus a little bit every now and again. Ha, I say that and it will rear its ugly head tomorrow.

We found out Thursday the results of our genetic tests, everything is great, and we are having a girl. And they day we hear that, DH mentions fixing the closets in what will be the nursery, and I have been bugging him to do that for 3 years. His daughter isn't here yet and he is all about fixing those closets.

Our NT scan is next week.

QOTW: I told who I consider my boss, I do all work for him, but I technically fall under someone else, though they are trying to get the paperwork done to change that. It went really well, though I also have a really cool and laid back supervisor.

For maternity leave, I have to take my sick leave and then annual leave. I can do leave without pay and will probably do a month or so of that. I can burn through all my leave and try to get on the leave donor program where DH can donate his use/lose annual to me. I can also do some part time work and telework. Will just have to see how it all goes and how long I want to be off work.

yarnymommy · September 2014

Happy Birthday, @pblge!

I'm still getting over my sinus infection + ear infection from last week. Still congested and sneezing and the post nasal stuff is upsetting my stomach more than necessary. Hoping it goes away soon. I have my OB appointment tomorrow. Will have a blood test, internal exam and likely an Rx for my first OB ultrasound which apparently will be at least a monthly thing due to the twins

What's new with everyone this week? Symptoms to report? Scans? Appointments? Tell us everything!

QOTW: I've told my boss and immediate team about the pregnancy. I'm pretty close with all of them. They've been very supportive and have been deflecting drama and unnecessary things from me which is really sweet.

We're still undecided as to what is going to happen after the babies arrive. With having two, I feel the desire for more time at home than FMLA allows here in FL (12 weeks). DH and I have discussed me staying home for 6 months to a year. Either of those would likely mean that I would have to quit my job. I really like my job. Been with the same company for 16 years. So I'm torn. I just noticed today a job posting for a part time role that may actually be a promotion for me. Only issue is that if I were to get that job before the babies arrive, do I really want to drop to part time during pregnancy? Dunno.

AMShark · September 2014

Happy Birthday @pblge ! <:-P :O)

I'm 9w6d today. I had a couple of spotting scares over the past two days, but it looks like everything is ok. This is the first spotting I've had since ET, and I had a little freak-out, break-down session at first. Luckily, my OB was able to reassure me.

I won't have another appointment until 22-October, but like @yarnymommy , I'll have an appointment every 4 weeks because of the twins. I believe I'll get a lot of extra peaks on U/S too, so I hope to soak those up as much as possible.

QOTW:

I've already told my immediate boss, and a couple of close co-workers. I don't plan on making a wider announcement until I'm visibly showing. I don't think I'll tell the volunteer committee chairs that I support (I work at a non-profit) until the board meetings in November - and only then if I'm showing.

I've searched pretty hard on my company's website and in the handbook for information on maternity leave. As it turns out, the term "maternity leave" is never mentioned here at all - Is that an HR thing, does anyone know? But, from what I can gather, it looks like in the state of NJ, my job is protected for up to 18 weeks of leave, assuming no medical complications. My job does not provide paid leave, however, we can use our sick leave and vacation days to get full pay while we are out "following the birth or adoption of a child." I'm actually not upset about this, because we get 12 sick days a year, and they let you accrue up to 130 days - and I've been working here for 10 years. I currently have a little over 100 sick days, and as a 10 year employee, I'll get 24 new vacation days next year. I am looking at potentially taking between 13-18 weeks off at full pay. I know I'll blow through my sick time, and that I will need it a lot more when I actually have kids, but since I will get 12 new every year, I think it will work out.

I need to contact HR to confirm that I'm interpreting the policy correctly. I also need to talk to my boss about her expectations, and more importantly, to DH about his.

DH actually gets 2 weeks paid paternity leave at his job. No joke - pretty sweet, right? If I worked for his company, I'd also get 13 weeks paid maternity leave. Alas, I work for a non-profit. Good for me. Sucker.

amacksta14 · September 2014

AMShark said:

Happy Birthday @pblge ! <:-P :O)

I'm 9w6d today. I had a couple of spotting scares over the past two days, but it looks like everything is ok. This is the first spotting I've had since ET, and I had a little freak-out, break-down session at first. Luckily, my OB was able to reassure me.

I won't have another appointment until 22-October, but like @yarnymommy , I'll have an appointment every 4 weeks because of the twins. I believe I'll get a lot of extra peaks on U/S too, so I hope to soak those up as much as possible.

QOTW:
I've already told my immediate boss, and a couple of close co-workers. I don't plan on making a wider announcement until I'm visibly showing. I don't think I'll tell the volunteer committee chairs that I support (I work at a non-profit) until the board meetings in November - and only then if I'm showing.

I've searched pretty hard on my company's website and in the handbook for information on maternity leave. As it turns out, the term "maternity leave" is never mentioned here at all - Is that an HR thing, does anyone know? But, from what I can gather, it looks like in the state of NJ, my job is protected for up to 18 weeks of leave, assuming no medical complications. My job does not provide paid leave, however, we can use our sick leave and vacation days to get full pay while we are out "following the birth or adoption of a child." I'm actually not upset about this, because we get 12 sick days a year, and they let you accrue up to 130 days - and I've been working here for 10 years. I currently have a little over 100 sick days, and as a 10 year employee, I'll get 24 new vacation days next year. I am looking at potentially taking between 13-18 weeks off at full pay. I know I'll blow through my sick time, and that I will need it a lot more when I actually have kids, but since I will get 12 new every year, I think it will work out.

I need to contact HR to confirm that I'm interpreting the policy correctly. I also need to talk to my boss about her expectations, and more importantly, to DH about his.
DH actually gets 2 weeks paid paternity leave at his job. No joke - pretty sweet, right? If I worked for his company, I'd also get 13 weeks paid maternity leave. Alas, I work for a non-profit. Good for me. Sucker.

FMLA is kind of sticky: A covered employer is a:

• Private-sector employer, with 50 or more employees in 20 or more workweeks in the current or

preceding calendar year, including a joint employer or successor in interest to a covered

employer;

• Public agency, including a local, state, or Federal government agency, regardless of the number

of employees it employs; or

• Public or private elementary or secondary school, regardless of the number of employees it

employs.

If you are with a small non profit they may very well not offer FMLA. Up until 2 years ago our non profit didn't, and even though we aren't required, we still offer a policy to stay competitive. Good luck to you!

AMShark · September 2014

@amacksta14 - Thanks for the information. I know I really need to talk to HR to make sure that I *really* know what's going on - but I'm putting off telling relative strangers at the moment.

I think I should be ok for the leave, as my non-profit is on the larger side. I believe there are over 1000 employees, about 800 of which are in my office in NJ.

I really do need to talk to HR though... [drags feet] ... but actually, really, I do.

amacksta14 · September 2014

AMShark said:

@amacksta14 - Thanks for the information. I know I really need to talk to HR to make sure that I *really* know what's going on - but I'm putting off telling relative strangers at the moment.

I think I should be ok for the leave, as my non-profit is on the larger side. I believe there are over 1000 employees, about 800 of which are in my office in NJ.
I really do need to talk to HR though... [drags feet] ... but actually, really, I do.

Good luck! If they are big then HR probably wouldn't tell your direct line. They are supposed to keep that stuff to themselves.

jszy10 · September 2014

pblge -- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Last one spent, just the two of you ;o)

Things are going pretty good here. Had quite a few days (including my whole weekend :oP) of a head cold -- stuffy nose, terrible sinus pressure and headaches. Finally feeling some decent relief today! Heartburn is still bothering me quite a bit -- I was approved to take Zantac, but I've been trying not to take it every day. I was diagnosed with GERD a few years ago and it's back in full force!

It has been nice to see DH so excited about the baby. He wants to start clearing out the room and taking care of some 'cosmetic' things soon, and he's been online browsing at a lot of stuff, including a monitor that he's already decided on! He's a techy and is excited about anything electronic he can buy for baby haha.

QOTW: I had a meeting with my principal on Monday and he was very happy for me. He lives near me and gave me some daycare suggestions, as well as some brief info on leave options.

I am a HS teacher, so April is perfect timing for me! The end of the school year will be 8-9 weeks after my due date, so I'll just need to decide if I want to go back the last week (for a little extra money) or stay out until September. I can get up to 6 weeks paid, but I only have about 5 weeks worth of sick days, so the rest will be unpaid.

I will be meeting with my HR in two weeks to really learn the details I need to work out the logistics. DH is self-employed, so I have to go back to work after FMLA is over because we can't lose my benefits. I'm a busy body, so I think after 5 months I'll be ready.

sweetsurrender9 · October 2014

@pblge -- Happy, happy birthday!

Things here are fine. We got our MaterniT21 results today. We're having a chromosomally normal baby girl! I'm shocked... I really thought that this bean was a boy!

I also bought a Doppler, but all I've been able to hear is placenta and baby movement. We went to visit my parents, and my mom -- an L&D nurse -- tried for almost half an hour, but she got the same thing. She said it's typical at this age to not be able to get the heartbeat reliably because they're still so small.

I had to tell work; I'm a nurse and didn't want to be given any patients that were inappropriate. I'll take 12 weeks off when the baby comes; part of it will be covered 100% by my sick time, part will be short term disability. I also have AFLAC to make up the difference.

meltate · October 2014

I am not sure if I can be a part of this group but I did have an ivf done as I am a surrogate for a friend. We first found out we were pregnant with triplets and then week 7 came and they only found two heartbeats. When week 8 hit they only found one. Never experienced loss before so for everyone in this group, my heart goes out to you and the struggles that you and your families have endured. That is my sole reason for being a surrogate.

amacksta14 · October 2014

snegde said:
@pblge happy birthday!

@AMShark‌ sorry for the scare. It's hard not to freak out. Glad you were reassured by your OB.

12 weeks today. I'm in disbelief. But oh so thankful. Another scare last Thursday but everything checked out fine. First real OB appointment is on this Thursday.

I was wondering about you after I saw you mention a scare on another post. Happy 12 weeks!

Seachele98 · October 2014

13w1d. We had our first OB appt last wednesday and every is perfect. We also got our Panorama results the following day. Low risk on everything and we're having a girl! Aside from that, most of my pregnancy symptoms are gone, but I'm dealing with a cold or sinus infection, or something awful.

QOTW: I told my boss a few weeks ago, and pretty much everyone else seems to know now. Im really confused about what our maternity leave is, so I should really start looking into it. I think I get a month before, and 6 weeks after, unless I want to use ALL my vacation time for the year. We just bought a house last year, so I really can't afford to go unpaid. Im guessing I won't be able to be out long.

keifekm · October 2014

Happy Birthday @pblge‌

@Seachele98‌ @sweetsurrender9‌ and @Alicia_R1‌ congrats on the healthy baby girls!

@meltate‌ welcome! I'm sorry to hear about your lost babies. We lost a twin this time as well.

Glad to hear your scares were nothing serious @AMShark‌ and @snegde‌

QOTW: If this birth is the same as last time I should get 8 weeks paid FMLA leave. My company allows an additional 4 months of unpaid leave. I think I will take 5 months total.

Updates: Sadly I have nothing to share since my last OB appointment last week. They found baby's heart beat via Doppler and it was 168. I was thrilled to hear it but I am already worried all over again.

Our next appointment is 10/27. So far away.

TeeQ · October 2014

Hey ladies! Sorry I have been MIA, we had our house raised and a basement put in so we moved to a family meme era house and of course it was one of two areas with no cell or Internet lol ! So a quick updated I am 12 weeks now a and belly is growing ! My IVF doctor has graduated me to a regular doc and our first appointment is with him is this Friday! We did experience vanishing twin syndrome! The second baby stopped growing at 4 weeks and we lost the heartbeat at 8 weeks. I have come to terms that this was not a viable baby and that it happened for a reason and DH and I are still so blessed to have one strong baby growing! Everything thing seems to be going well with baby and we can't wait to see our gummy bear again on Friday! It's been 3 weeks since our last OS and it seems like forever ago that I got to see him/her!
We are pleased to say that ETA is April 14 and hope that all the prep will help to make our Canadian winter go by in a flash

TeeQ · October 2014

Forgot to add I decided to go back to school full time this fall! My professors know about baby and since I am due in the middle of exams they said we can work around it all and than I will have the summer off with my babes until it is time to go back to finish in the fall

Lyndsey13 · October 2014

I had an appointment with my midwife group yesterday. Everything was normal. They found the heartbeat, which was 150. I was a little frustrated because the midwife I saw made me sound very high risk and is making me see a Maternal Fetal Specialist. Ironically, since my last pregnancy was twins its the same doctor I saw for that pregnancy. But I really just don't even want to deal with that whole thing. She also made it seem like a VBAC was a big deal. She definitely did not have the attitude I'd like to have going into this. Very frustrating.

Frustrating thing #2: I did the Harmony test almost 3 weeks ago. Still have not received results. Now the Harmony company is saying they won't release my results until they talk to my fertility clinic. They need to know things such as donor age, which I didn't have a donor. I think I know my husband and I's ages. So I'm still waiting and now a little freaked out that something is wrong.

I told my boss as soon as the pee stick changed. She's my mom, so that makes things really easy. The office I work in is fairly small, 8 employees and all like family to me so I told everyone pretty much immediately. They knew I was missing work for IVF, so they were all very curious. Since I work for my family business and there's no way they can have me gone for a long period of time, I'm planning on taking 2-3 weeks completely off and then coming back as I can. I literally live 2 minutes from where I work so I can just drive back and forth, as I need to. Plus I already have a nanny for my 2 year old twin girls so it won't be any extra child care or anything. I have a pretty good set up!

AMShark · October 2014

meltate said:

I am not sure if I can be a part of this group but I did have an ivf done as I am a surrogate for a friend. We first found out we were pregnant with triplets and then week 7 came and they only found two heartbeats. When week 8 hit they only found one. Never experienced loss before so for everyone in this group, my heart goes out to you and the struggles that you and your families have endured. That is my sole reason for being a surrogate.

You are doing such a generous thing, @meltate . You are one amazing friend.

KellyA724 · October 2014

@Seachele98‌ @sweetsurrender9‌ @Alicia_R1‌ Congrats on the healthy baby girls - how exciting!

@snegde Happy you're doing well after your scare last week!

@grailseeker14 Congrats on the good ultrasound and graduation!

pblge · October 2014

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, ladies! Someone pointed out that this was likely my last without a little one, and it had never even occurred to me.

)

@amstacka - Congrats on the NT scan! What a great milestone! And it sounds like your workplace is very supportive.

@fjt908 - LOL about the nepotism! Hope it's very helpful for you!

@Alicia_R1 - Congrats on your little girl! Hilarious that it got your OH working on the closets!

@yarnymommy - Glad you're feeling better! Hope your appointment when well. Sounds like quite a dilemma about the part-time job! Perhaps you could contact them and ask when they wanted it filled?

@baby_blessings - Congratulations and welcome! Agree that it's hard to be relaxed about these things after IF.

Sounds like a great deal on the crib!

@AMShark - Has the spotting finally stopped? I hope it has, and that all is back to normal. I do think IVF/FET grads spot more based on what I've read. Sounds like you're going to have a great maternity leave!! Also, a friend of mine pointed out that she believes the HR rep at my university is actually interpreting said university's FMLA leave policy incorrectly! The policy states that the "
period of disability" for pregnancy began 4 weeks before birth, but she told me that my six weeks maternity leave absolutely could not start before I gave birth, even if that meant I didn't get the full six weeks. I am considering the best ways to challenge her on it. I mention it so that you'd be prepared for similar difficulties when you go talk to HR folks.

@jsy10 - Glad you're feeling better! I would love for my OH to pick out a monitor! I took one look at those, listed first on the Amazon registry stub, and closed my computer to mourn my lack of wine. So overwhelming! I think I've said it before here, but I'm pretty confident you will NOT want to go back to school for that last week!

@snegde - Sheesh, could you stop scaring yourself please! I didn't see this one, so I don't know what it was, but I hope all is well. Good luck tomorrow!

@sweetsurrdender9 - Congrats on your girl and your great test results! I hope you'll be able to use the Doppler soon.

@meltate - Wow, that's quite a story! I personally think you're welcome here, although much of the post-infertility stuff might be a little foreign to you. I think that you're doing a wonderful thing! When are you due? You might also try the Third Party Reproduction board, as there are other GCs there.

@Seachele98 - Congrats to YOU on your girl and your great results! (Is everyone around here having girl??) Hope you feel better soon!

@keifekm - Sounds like all is going well with you! Five months is pretty cushy, even if it's not all paid.

@TeeQ - So sorry for the loss of your twin. ((hugs)) Hope your other one is doing great--good luck on Friday! And I definitely hear you about the winter--I'm in a seriously wintry place, too!

@CaterinaC - Congrats on starting your program! ;-) It must have been awkward but wonderful to untell about your m/c!

@Lyndsey13 - Sorry you're dealing with slow test results! That's really annoying. I'm in the process of switching OBs, if you decide you want to think about it. Just send me a PM. It does sound like you're in a great situation with your family!

AMShark · October 2014

Thanks for the follow up @pblge.

It looks like the spotting is gone today. Yesterday, it never made it past brown spotting, which was heaviest when I first woke up. I think I had a phantom "wet feeling" in my nether regions all day yesterday, but I think I was just convincing myself that I would see more spotting when I pulled down my pants - and I never really did.

It's a much better day today. Hopefully, that's the last I'll see of spotting, but if not, I think I'll be more prepared to handle it mentally.

stranzm · October 2014

New this week: Saw the OB again this week, and I'm moving from appointments every 2 weeks to every 4 weeks. I'll admit, this will be strange for me. I've seen a doctor at least every 2 weeks since June! Baby continues to look good with normal heartbeat (I mentioned last time that I get an ultrasound every appointment). Things weren't perfect for me, but doctor wasn't concerned and moved me to the every 4 weeks (unless I freak out ahead of time).

QOTW: Yes, I told coworkers last week. They are super excited. Someone else announced her pregnancy this week, and she is due 3 days ahead of me. We also have a guy whose wife is pregnant in later April. It will be baby-mania.

I get 6 weeks paid as well. I'll take some FMLA, but I'm not sure how much. My husband is a teacher, so there is an appeal to spend the summer together bonding as a family. We've been through a lot to be at this place. Even though I am a bit of a workaholic (did I admit that?), it's about time my company learns to be less dependent on me. I'm not making any decisions until I have the baby, as I have seen friends extend and shorten their planned maternity leave.

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