February 2014 Moms

Play group: WWF14D?

I need some advice from you ladies. Sorry, this might be long. We just started going to a neighborhood play group. About 8 moms and 12-14 kids ages 7 months to 6 yrs. I am new to the group (gone 2x). LO is the youngest there (a few children are about 4 months older than LO).
Both times there is this very aggressive boy. He is about 4 yrs old. He pushes children and shoves toys into others. Even swung at a few children. It's been pretty bad both times. The mother is all over it. She always gets up and removes her son and disciplines him.
This week I saw the boy shoving a car into my LO. I went over and asked the boy to not play with the baby. The mom came and removed the boy saying "that mommy doesn't want you playing with her daughter". It gave me a weird vibe. I thought 'true, but my child is not the problem'.
Anyway, my question is, should I stop going? I am concerned about this boys aggression. I liked the idea of getting to know the neighborhood moms better but I worry about LO's safety. What should I do?

Re: Play group: WWF14D?

  • utpony said:

    I would stop going. You said yourself you were worried about LO's safety. To me that's a giant sign to stop.

    I think you are right. I just wonder if I just keep LO close to me and a sharp eye out if that is enough? I haven't found any other groups in my area and I want LO to have social interactions. I guess I could try looking again for another group.
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  • I don't think I'd stop going, either. I'd just keep my kid close enough to me that I could intervene if necessary.

    I actually dealt with this last weekend. My friend and I got together, and her daughter is pretty aggressive. I kept W right near me and blocked a few hits here and there, but it wasn't that big of a deal.

    If I seriously felt that my child was in danger, I'd obviously stop attending. But if you're able to stay right there, I see more benefits (socialization for LO, making friends for you) than cons. 

    Good luck!
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  • I would keep going and be extra careful. Maybe you could try a My Gym class once a week? If you connect with some families there you could start a new play group. Just an idea!
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  • If the mom is aware and working on it then I probably wouldn't stop going since it sounds like you otherwise like the group.

    And I liked PPs suggestion of talking to the boy about playing gently too.

    Some kids are more aggressive/physical than others, and it's those kids who need to learn positive ways to interact with others.  Obviously I'm not suggesting you let your LO be this kid's punching bag while he learns, but positive reinforcement, redirection and guiding him towards gentler play will go a long way in helping him.  And sometimes other adults saying things will get a kid to change behaviors even when a parent says the exact same thing. 


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