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Struggling to adjust in daycare - advice please!

margaritachikitamargaritachikita member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
Hi there,
I have never posted here before but am in need of some advice. My two year old daughter has just started at a new daycare on wednesdays and fridays. She had previously been in a half-day daycare only once per week. This new daycare has up to 16 kids per day (usually closer to 10-13) with two teachers and she is really struggling to adjust to all the kids. This was her fourth day today and it seems like things are getting worse instead of better. They have to pry her out of my arms in the mornings (I always say goodbye, hug her, and leave right away) and she cries when we pick her up at night. She will talk positively about it on the way home though, tell us what she did etc. but the teachers report that she follows them around all day and wants to be "uppy" (picked up) all the time. We have been sending her blankie with her but now we are thinking about not letting her have it because it might be making things worse (she will sit in the corner hugging it). She gets really intimidated and shuts down when other kids come up to her (from my observations). Can anyone give advice on what to do from this point?? Is it just going to take more time for her to adjust? Should we try to find a smaller daycare or switch to in-home? DH thinks she just needs to learn but she is only two and i dont want to cause her undue anxiety. TIA!
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Re: Struggling to adjust in daycare - advice please!

  • ashiscuteashiscute member
    theresat858 said:
    If she hasn't been exposed to that many kids before, it will be an adjustment, for sure. I would just give her some time.
    I agree with this.  That is a large number of kids to get used to being around.  I notice when we do playdates that if there are a ton of kids (10+) a lot of the kids are clingier than if there are only 6 or so.  

    I would give her at least 2 more weeks.  At DD's preschool it was about the 4 week mark when most kids stopped crying and were really enjoying the routine.  I'd also talk it up when she's home about how fun it is and whatnot.  
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  • shakinrosshakinros member
    Yes I'd give it more time. It's an adjustment for sure and she's going to need at least a month to get used to it.
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  • margaritachikitamargaritachikita member
    Thanks ladies! We will give her a few more weeks and see how she does.
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  • JENandJEHJENandJEH member
    DS2 started a Mom's Day Out program about 3 weeks ago and still gets upset when I drop him off but his teachers say he always calms down in about 5 minutes and has great days.  I wouldn't take her blanket away but maybe ask them to limit her access to it.  DS2 is only allowed to have his blanket at naptime which works for him because he's not allowed to carry it around at home but also because I didn't want it getting filthy and causing issues with other kids in the room.  

    Definitely give it a few weeks and really talk it up when you can.  We talk about how much fun he has and what different things he will do and I remind him that I will be back to pick him up after he eats lunch, takes his nap and eats his snack.  Now when I ask him when mommy will be back, he smiles and says "Hudsy sleep, Hudsy eat snack".  
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  • Ya Never KnowYa Never Know member
    It has only been a few days, she probably just needs more time. A friend of mine went through the same thing with her DD (same age) when she put her in daycare for the first time (she was a SAHM, she just went back to work about a month ago). It took her DD about 3 weeks to get the hang of it, and she doesn't cry when she does drop-offs/pick-ups anymore and runs in to play with the other kids.
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  • JulesDianeJulesDiane member
    I agree. I think it just is an adjustment and will take time. And please don't take her blanket away..
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  • margaritachikitamargaritachikita member
    Thanks for all the advice. She had a better day today. We put her blankie in a bag together and talked about only using it for nap time. She was fine with that (carried the blankie in herself and put it near the cots). The teachers said she was more interactive so I think she is starting to turn a corner, and that restricting blankie time was a good idea. We have paid through the end of October so will reassess at that time but hopefully things will continue to improve! Thanks again!!
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  • CRich15CRich15 member
    My boys have been in daycare full-time since they were 6 weeks old and every time they go to a new class we get the same response.  Stay positive with her and let her know that its fun even though you die inside when she screams and cries for you.  It will pass soon and before you know it she will love going and enjoy seeing all her little friends.  Hang in there! 
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  • FabulousMrs.PFabulousMrs.P member
    It always takes my DD some time to adjust. We are going to be starting nursery school next year and I expect to begin with she will be withdrawn. As she gets more comfortable with the situation she starts to blossom.


    After 2 years of TTC, our daughter was born on Oct 31, 2011!
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