December 2014 Moms
STracy91
member
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Monster in law rant !
STracy91
member
Okay , where do i even begin with this one...
We have never been on the best terms. Every interaction now is very forced and fake.
MIL was in the delivery room when I had my first little one (I was trying to be the bigger person and include her in stuff) and all she did was give me "pep talks" about how her labor was way worse and I needed to suck it up. SO nice , right ?
Well now she wants to be in the room with this one too and I said no . In the nicest way I could. Well she has since moved away (thank the Lord) and just told my husband she's already bought the ticket to fly up here to be in the room for the birth !!!! NOOOOO!
Misery loves company , right? So who else has good monster in law stories???
We have never been on the best terms. Every interaction now is very forced and fake.
MIL was in the delivery room when I had my first little one (I was trying to be the bigger person and include her in stuff) and all she did was give me "pep talks" about how her labor was way worse and I needed to suck it up. SO nice , right ?
Well now she wants to be in the room with this one too and I said no . In the nicest way I could. Well she has since moved away (thank the Lord) and just told my husband she's already bought the ticket to fly up here to be in the room for the birth !!!! NOOOOO!
Misery loves company , right? So who else has good monster in law stories???
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Re: Monster in law rant !
You can also request to be registered as a private patient at the hospital in case you are worried that she will try to track you down. The hospital won't give out your room number or status if she calls. Also, don't tell anyone that you have gone into labor until the baby has already arrived. That way no one accidentally tells her.
Ugh , yes she's always been super manipulative but this one just takes the cake .
Ohhhh cake sounds delicious right now ....
The next thing that happened was i told mil my boobs were leaking and that i needed to wash our sheets. She ran up to me and grabed me and was like oh man get in my car im taking you to the hospital!!! I was like what?? Why? She then told me about how she never leaked and that it ment te baby was comming. Are you kidding me??? Lucky for me i talked to my mom about it before and so i wasnt worried.
She has also told me that i need to stop going to work bc its bad for the baby. She said she would never work past 30 weeks. (Im 31 weeks now)
Finally she keeps telling me im getting too big. I am getting big, my ob said baby is huge. But She keeps saying i bet you have twins. Ugghh!! Really?? Thanks i wasnt feeling fat yet today!!!
D14 November Siggy Challenge: The feels of 3rd trimester...
Giving her a job will definitely help, but be sure you clue the hospital/staff into your want for her to stay out of the room so YH doesn't have to play bad cop and can focus on you rather than her selfishness.
The ticket works for sitting in the waiting room just as well as being in the delivery room!!
My main issue is privacy, her mouth, and pass the baby. She is tame compared to many though. Since last baby and her constantly just walking in my house, I have begun to lock the door... She has the key and just lets herself in. SO is covering that now. We will see. She still likes to go down the hall to "check out my room"... My bedroom is off limits to EVERYONE. Apparently it doesn't apply to her? She will be over every day to hold and cuddle the baby and her stuffy nose and cough will just be "allergies".
Her mouth because she blows even the littlest things out of proportion medically and about my house. Umm, yep, I have 5 kids and my house is not spotless (hers is messier and very cluttered is the funny part). And "you will be the Brady Bunch" is getting old... Every day, several times a day for weeks.... just stop. I no longer share any medical with her for me or the kids. SO was threatened if he did, I would kill him.
She is going to be hurt when I bring baby to bowling and to the Christmas parties this year and refuse to let her hold/take the baby. Every year she plays pass the baby or at the bowling alley she lets everyone touch baby. THAT is my issue. Not baby going out. It has proven to help my PPD for me to get out of the house early on. We practice no hovering and no touching. I get little adult interaction as it is. She ignores us saying no.
The funny part is, she is not trying to be mean. She is very... naive and I don't think that she thinks things through. She use to make sure SO was ok before me. He has Cerebral Palsy. He can work and all, but the cleaning and opening certain things like milk cartons, jars, and so on is hard to impossible for him. So for 4 years it has been a battle to get her to back off and let me do it and to realize that this is MY house and MY kids. Not HER 2nd house and HER 2nd kids. She married an older man with grown kids many years ago (he passed from cancer). So she does have them and those grand kids and great grand kids. Sadly many of them take advantage of her trust fund and her lack of a lot of common sense. She is a great lady tih
DS2 - 8/08
DS3- 9/09
DD1 - 11/11
DD2 - 10/13
DD3 - Csection Scheduled November 29th
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Also tell your husband to deal with her..this is not your problem.
Finally, depending on her ticket/when you deliver, don't tell her when your labor starts. Just pick her up at the airport with a newborn in the backseat ;-)
Good luck!
I went to the recovery room with my family to see my sister and her new baby and then met up later at their house to "help" out (to be honest, most of us did nothing). And I remember her MIL saying at one point "let's not do this to them again." Because it was intrusive and the new family was so exhausted. We weren't letting them just settle and grasp that they have a new baby. I guess everyone gets over excited and this was the first grandkid for his side of the family but I've already asked people not to show up for a few days. It just isn't necessary. The baby will still look new in a week too.
She had a dumb name picked out for the baby to call her (mama mere) which thankfully I won that battle because I refuse to let her have mama in her title when that's what I want to be called.
I know she means we'll but I wish she would just allow me an my DH to tell her how things will be. She lives 10 min away so I really hope she does not feel it's her right to just stop in whenever she wants... oh and she will most definitely not be in the room with me, I'd prefer it to be just my DH and medical staff
My unsolicited advice to FTMs: You will have one labor and delivery experience with this child. There are no do-overs. You get one first look at your new baby, one first cuddle, one first moment of looking at your SO and realizing that you are a "family" with this tiny human. Do not let anyone intrude on this time. Do not allow anyone to make you feel rushed or uncomfortable because they are in the waiting room or hovering over you waiting to hold the baby. I don't care how "excited" or "well-meaning" they are, it isn't about them.
Mothers and MIL's have had those first moments with their children. This is your time. I don't care what you believe in, those first moments are sacred. Do what you have to in order to get private time with your new baby and your SO. Honor your new family with that time.
There has just been SO much drama between her and I from the very beginning , it's exhausting . Haha.
My last baby , she was horrible. Plain horrible. Tried convincing her son it wasn't his baby and to peace out. (it is 12494% for surely his baby haha) . Even after all that chaos , I invited her to the gender ultrasound. .. apparently she only showed up to prove I was hiding something ?? I never figured out what it was I was hiding... haha. At my baby shower when I was about ready to pop, she says to me "okay , I guess NOW I can be excited..." wtf? Even if that's what you were thinking , you certainly didn't have to say it lol. This list goes on for daaaaaaaays.
So here's where it gets kinda tricky. I want my mom to be there. I love my husband , I really do. But practically my whole labor with the last one , he kept passing out until the doctor finally told him to just stay where he was haha. So I know that this time , he probably will be doing the same thing and it'd be nice to have some one to actually hold me hand and talk me through it. As horrible as she's been through everything , I still just feel like a jerk for leaving her out of things. I can't help it ! So I don't want her feelings to be hurt by asking her not to be in the room but then letting my mom in there . Haha I haven't talked to her about staying with my other little one yet , but I really hope she is good with that and doesn't get all booty hurt about not being in there to see a child come sliding out of my vag. Cause cmon, who wouldn't want to see that ?! Haha for real though not even I wanted to see it . They asked if I wanted a mirror .... oh god please no ! Haha.