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Farewell

Sigh202Sigh202 member
in Infertility
After this latest BFN, we have decided that we are not meant to have a biological child. 4 IUIs and 4 IVFs later, I feel like a lab rat.

Given the multiple failures, our RE estimated that our chances of success with another IVF are about 20%. We can increase the odds with donor eggs and donor sperm for $30,000 but then it wouldn't really be our biological child anyway.

So we have decided to pursue adoption and stop putting ourselves through this emotional and physical turmoil every month. We never thought we'd be here and are devastated but hopeful about the future.

I want to wish all of you good luck and thank you for the support that you've given to me.
Ready to take the road less traveled. 
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Re: Farewell

  • runforcookiesrunforcookies member
    I wish you all the best and hope you find peace with adoption.

    DH and I just discussed last night how maby more times we will try vefore moving on to adoption.


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  • ronniesgirl1981ronniesgirl1981 member
    @Sigh202‌ I'm so sorry you are at this place. We are at a similar crossroads. I wish you all the best!
    Me: 34 | He: 40
    TTC since 08/2012
    DX: DOR




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  • brlee225brlee225 member
    @Sigh202 T and P for you and your DH. I wish you the best of luck. I have my WTF appt tomorrow morning. Even though I have not gone half of what you have gone through, I have already experienced that first real heart break and know for myself if I do this one more time. That would have to be it for me.

    Hugs

    Me: 34 DH:37

    Married 2008. TTC since March 2009

    March 2010 - HSG, Tubes Removed, only IVF as option

    July 2014 - First visit back to RE, ready to dive into IVF.

    Aug 2014 - Had final orientation and baseline ultrasound. Have PCOS, RE expecting large qty for ER, but concerned for OHSS

    Starting stims on 9/6, hoping for ER week of 9/15

    image

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  • jencity9jencity9 member
    I know this is a really hard decision to come to and I'm sorry you are at that point, but I do wish you well with this new journey!

    Me: 32  DH: 33  Married: March 2004

    July 2006: started TTC
    2008: HSG (normal), couple rounds of clomid through gyno
    2008 - 2010: dragging my feet out of fear and procrastination
    October 2010: first consultation with RE, dx PCOS and fibroids (DH slightly low count/motility)
    Oct. 2010 - Dec. 2012:  In DENIAL! avoided the issue because I was scared of surgery
    January 2013: returned to RE, fibroids grew significantly
    February 2013: second HSG, fibroids pushed on tubes which blocked them somewhat
    March 2013: MRI to determine what type of surgery may be necessary
    July 29, 2013: fibroids (5) removed via robotic laparascopy
    August 2013 - Nov 2013 : benched due to recent surgery

    IUI #1, Dec. 24, 2013, BFN 
    IUI #2, Jan. 25, 2014, BFN
    IUI #3, Feb. 25, 2014  BFN
    IUI #4 canceled due to lack of response to letrozole
    IUI #4.1 April 28, 2014, BFN
    May 16, 2014: wtf consult, start prepping for IVF in June and add injects for one last IUI in the meantime
    IUI #5 started letrozole and bravelle but canceled after HSG led to new diagnosis
    May 21, 2014: third HSG, tubes blocked, one at the beginning, one hydrosalpinx??
    June 11, 2014: consult, approved to move on to IVF because the hydro is not completely blocked therefore allowing fluid to move through slowly rather than backwards
    IVF #1 August 8, 2014 - 3dt of 2 embryos, BFN
    September 17, 2014 - 4th HSG, the right tube is very patent (open!!) dye went straight through this time. Weird!
    October 2, 2014 - started metformin treatment
    November 14, 2014 - blood work, brought A1C down from 5.8 to 5.5
    November 26, 2014 - RE finally back from vaca and reviewed my chart, no more IVFs for rest of calendar year
    December 1, 2014 - Right after Thanksgiving, I called a new clinic and got in right away! Plan for IVF
    December 17, 2014 - ER! 29 retrieved (!!), 16 mature, all 16 fertilized (ICSI)
    IVF #2 December 20, 2014 - 3dt of 3 embryos, BFN

    We are done with treatment unsuccessfully. :(


    PAIF/SAIF/All Welcome!

    image    image
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  • daydreamernycdaydreamernyc member
    Sorry that it has come to this but I wish you all the success as you seek out this new path.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    January & February: 2 IUIs, BFN
    March:  IUI, ectopic, 2 surgeries with 1 tube removed
    May - July: 3 more IUIs, all BFN, on to IVF
    August: IVF#1, BFN
    September:  FET#1, BFP!!!
    It's a girl!!!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • CMH25CMH25 member
    I wish you all the best. I hope you find peace and pride in your decision to find a home for a baby who needs one!
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  • turquoisequeenturquoisequeen member
    Wishing you the best of luck! Praying for you!

    Thanks for your support in the short time I've "known" you on the sweet peas check ins.

    **Signature Warning**


    TTC since July 2013
    DX: Unexplained or possibly DOR and DH 2% morph
    3 IUIs May-July: all BFN
    IVF Sept 2014: 12R 10M 8F, 5 day eSET 9/15, 4 frosties
    Beta #1 353, Beta #2 651, EDD June 3

    TRUST in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

    image 
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  • lebradfordlebradford member
    I know you probably don't know me, but I lurked here for a long time before I came over. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for all of your struggles. Good luck with your next venture.
    **siggy warning**  **everyone welcome**

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    DS- 11.07.02
    DSS- 6.26.04
    Married- 6.29.13
    TTC Again- Sept. 2013
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Test Results/Diagnosis- HSG & SA totally normal
    DX: 3/2014 Prolactinoma/Hyperprolactinemia- Started cabergoline 2/2014
    5/2014 Possible mild PCOS in addition to hyperprolactinemia??
    7/2014 Adding probable tubal factor to the diagnosis list
    9/2014 And now adding hypothyroid to the list- Started synthroid 9/2014
    Cycles 1-4 - Sept.-March- All Anovulatory 
    IUI #1 March/April-  Clomid 50mg + Clomid 100mg +Trigger + IUI #1 = BFN
     IUI #2 April/May-Clomid 100mg + Clomid 150mg + Trigger + IUI #2 + Endometrin=BFN
    IUI #3- June- Follistim 75iu + Trigger + IUI #3  Benched due to a 40 mm cyst. :-(
    IUI #3- July- Follistim 75iu + Trigger + IUI #3 + Endometrin = BFP! on 7/25/14
    Slowly rising betas - Ectopic suspected on 8/8/14 & confirmed on 8/11/14
    Methotrexate on 8/12/14 -HCG negative on 9/2/14
    IVF #1- November- Antagonist protocol: 11/1: start stims, 200iu of Follistim; 11/12 ER 17R/14M/14F; 11/17 5 day transfer of two blasts, 2 blasts and 2 expanding morulas frozen; 11/22 BFP!! (On FRER at 5dp5dt)
    Betas: 9dp5dt 205, 11dp5dt 497, 14dp5dt 1,709
    u/s at 5w0d- 1 sac; u/s at 6w0d 1 baby with heartbeat, another sac without a heartbeat
    image


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  • jessimi06jessimi06 member
    (Hugs) I'm sorry you've reached this point, but I wish you luck and success in your new journey.
    **********SIGGY/TICKER WARNING**********

    ALL WELCOME!
    TTC since 04/12
    Me- 26 PCOS
    DH- 28 MFI
    10/13 IUI #1 (1 follie)- BFP!
    11/13 M/C @9 wk due to tetraploidy, one little boy in heaven
    01/14 IUI#2 (1 follie) BFN
    02/14 IUI #3 (3 follies) BFN
    03/14 IUI #4 (2 follies) BFN
    05/14 IVF/ICSI #1 CXL
    07/14 IVF/ICSI #1.2 6R, 6M, 5F, 2T, 2 frosties!
    Transferred 2-5dt  CP
    09/14 FET #1 BFP! Beta #1 52 Beta #2 152!
    10/20/14- It's TWINS!
    1/15- TEAM PURPLE!
    image
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • JzylaJzyla member
    I read and tried to follow along on your story and your journey. I admire your strength and your ability to look at this as objectively as possible, despite the incredible heartache. We experienced our last IVF BFN this month too and are similarly considering our options for the future. May you find peace and joy in creating your family.
    30 yrs, healthy & TTC since April 2010 
    DH 32yrs & healthy
    *unexplained infertility* 

    Regularly access alternative medicine to supplement a lack of resources in our geographical area.
    • Three rounds of clomid (50mg days 3-7) were useless.
    • IUI#1 w/clomid & HCG in May 2013, BFN.
    • IUI#2 w/clomid & HCG on July 23rd. BFN.
    • IUI #3 in August cancelled last minute, due to lab error.
    • IVF#1 - Started Gonal F stims October 13 2013 for IUI. Over-responded with too many follicles, so converted to IVF. Retrieval October 29th - got 5 eggs, 4 fertilized. Had 2 perfect little embryos transferred on day 3 (Nov. 1). The remaining 2 didn't survive to freeze. Got our BFN on November 13th 2013.
    • IVF#2 - Started stims August 21st. Triggered with Suprefact, started on dostinex due to risk of OHSS. Retrieval September 5th - got 27 eggs! 21 embryos on day 3. Embryos deteriorated quickly. ESet 5day blast on Sept 10. No embryos high enough quality to freeze. BFN came Sept. 22.

    Reserved a semi-known proven donor in August .

    Waiting for consult/screening and protocols with estimated fresh cycle timing in October



    image
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  • katers79katers79 member
    I'm new to this forum, but I'm so sorry that you're at this point. Good luck with your next steps-- I wish you the best!

    ***SIGGY WARNING***

    Our Story

    Me- 35, mild hypothyroidism

    DH- 29, low count due to a chromosomal abnormality, only option is IVF/ICSI with PGD.

    Married 5/13

    TTC since 8/13

    IVF/ICSI #1 ER 9/14 - 14R, 6M, 6F, 5 blasts off to PGD- 1 normal female, 2 balanced males

    FET 12/8 of 2 frosties - 1 male/1 female - stick babies stick! 

    Beta #1 10dp5dt 444! Beta #2 14dp5dt 2,340!  U/S 1/5-- TWINS!!!  EDD 8/26/15

    "You'll never see the rainbow if you can't survive the storm"

     image    image

    Pregnancy Ticker

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  • beachbum913beachbum913 member
    I wish you all the best in your journey. I hope you find peace and love in this next step. Good luck.
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  • sweetpotato123sweetpotato123 member
    Wishing you the best and much peace as you and your OH move forward.
    **Signature Warning**

    Dx PCOS August 2012
    Clomid x4 = BFN
    Femara+Follistim IUIs x 6 = 3 BFN, 2 C/P, 1 early miscarriage
    IVF June 2014- 43 R, 34 M, 24 F, 12 blasts frozen and severe OHSS
    FET September 12, 2014!
    Beta #1 12dp5dt- 724
    Beta #2 14dp5dt- 1631
    Beta #3 20dp5dt- 12,813
    Pending EDD at first OB appointment 11/6. Grow babies grow!

    "I might have to wait. I'll never give up. I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck. 
    Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and into my life." ~ Michael Buble

    image


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  • alpCRNAalpCRNA member
    I wish you good luck and peace in your new journey.  Hopefully you will be able to provide a child in need with a loving home.
    Me 27 DH 29 Married since 2007, together since 2001
    Off BC since Febuary 2006 3 Clomid Cycles in 2008- symptomatic, US just showed a tilted uterus, otherwise normal, HSG normal.  DH has an ejaculatory duct obstruction and a congenital absence of the vas deferens.  This is common with cystic fibrosis carriers, but he doesn't have cystic fibrosis. IVF #1 with TESE/ICSI (Antagonist protocol) Aug 2014=BFN (poor embryo quality)   IVF #2 ICSI long lupron protocol November 2014
    imageimage
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  • MSU_Girl1202MSU_Girl1202 member
    Sending so so many hugs. I hope you find peace in adoption and wish you luck on your new journey.
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d      
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
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  • meld42meld42 member
    Lots of luck to you and your DH. I'm sorry for what I can only imagine was an emotional week. Lots of positive vibes sent your way.
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  • mrsCWmrsCW member
    Best of luck to you!!!
    image
    Me: 32, DH: 38
    married since June 2008
    TTC since March 2013
    8/2013: SA normal, my bloodwork indicated pituitary hormone imblance
    10/2013: anovulatory
    11/2013: anovulatory
    12/2013 - 3/2014: unmonitored Clomid cycles with TI, all bfn
    04/2014: HSG normal
    05/2014: Clomid + IUI, bfn;
    bloodwork retested and results normal
    06/2014: 1st monitored cycle with RE: Clomid cd3-7 (no growing follies), 
    Femara cd 10-14 (2 follies), ovidrel trigger cd17, IUI, bfn, polyp discovered during u/s
    07/2014: polypectomy
    08/2014: Follistim (50-75 iu/day) cd 2-14 (2 follies), Ovidrel cd15, IUI, crinone
    10/2014: IVF #1, 14R, 13F, 8 blasts. Freeze all due to super enlarged ovaries and a week of bed rest 
    11/2014: FET #1
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  • Justone13Justone13 member
    @Sigh202‌ you have been through hell sweets. I'm so sorry. Im sending you the biggest hugs I can muster. I hope that adoption proves to be a solution for you. Wishing you the best of luck
    SIGGY WARNING//TICKER WARNING//PAIF

    Long of the Short:
     TTC since April 2013  DH 42 y/o I'm 30  Dh had vasectomy reversal Feb 2013 after 3 months developed scar tissue 
     First Re appt was September 2013 OOP for everything minus meds  
    DH's TESE surgery December 2013
    First cycle was February 2014 BFN none to freeze
     Second cycle was April 2014 BFP ending in Chemical Pregnancy none to freeze
     Third cycle June 2014 BFN none to freez
     Fourth cycle October 30th 28 retrieved, 13 mature and 12 fertilized
    PICSI, assisted hatching and fresh sperm from my DH's TESE surgery used
    5 FROZEN from a freeze all cycle! 
    FET completed on DECEMBER 9TH!!!
    Beta #1 13dp5dt BFP!! 800
    Beta #2 15dp5dt 2100
    Beta #3 17dp5dt 3600 
    First Scan January 5th! Everything looks great! Heart rate of 121!
    Second Scan January 20th. Baby Justone13 looks amazing. Heart rate of 175!
    Baby Girl is due August 27th
    Liv Annmarie born 8/25 7lbs 6oz 21 1/2 inches long 
    image 

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  • Sigh202Sigh202 member
    Thank you for all the love. After a few days of crying, I am strangely relieved not to be getting stabbed with a needle tonight and feeling free to make plans with friends without the what-ifs.
    Ready to take the road less traveled. 
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  • fjamil1fjamil1 member
    Best of Luck to you, and hope adoption works out for you.
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  • przemosbabeprzemosbabe member
    I pray you do get a child whether it be through adoption, a surprise or whatever road brings you to your dreams.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • AuroraP725AuroraP725 member
    ((Hugs)) I'm so sorry for all the heartbreak you've experienced. Wishing you all the best in your life and your decisions ahead.
    Me - 32 H - 32
    Married July 2009
    TTC#1 since Feb 2013
    RE consult Oct 2013 due to short cycles/light periods
    Dx: Diminished ovarian reserve/unexplained thinned uterine lining
    IVF#1 May 2014 - Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix - 7R 4M 3F - 1 frosty (4AB)
    IVF#2 August 2014 - Lupron/Follistim/Menopur - 9R 4M 0F
    IVF#3 w/ICSI September 2014 - Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix - 4R 4M 4F - 1 frosty
    FET#1 Dec 2014 - Lupron/Estrace(transdermal and vaginal)/Viagra/G-CSF wash - Cancelled due to poor lining response
                                       Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
                                             Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage
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  • emmuffyemmuffy member
    Sending you thoughts and prayers. Good luck moving forward with adoption, and I hope it brings you much happiness down the road.

    Official diagnosis: Unexplained IF. I am 32. I have low ovarian reserve (low AMH), and poor egg quality. I've also been diagnosed with mild glandular developmental arrest (lining problems, detected with EFT).

    We are using open ID donor sperm. IUIs #1-7=BFN. IVF September 2014 antagonist protocol, 8R,5M,3F, 5 day transfer of 1 morula = BFN. IVF#2 planned for January 2015 (antagonist protocol + HGH).

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic image

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  • BostonGayGalBostonGayGal member
    I'm sorry. Wishing the best for you.


    http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg



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  • KM721KM721 member
    I'm sorry that you're in this place, but I know there's a really lucky baby out there somewhere just waiting for his/her parents. Best wishes on everything.
    Me: 28, no diagnosis  DH: 33, MFI, severely low morphology, diagnosed 3/14
    IVF #1: May/June 2014: 10R/8F, 1 morula transferred = BFN, nothing to freeze.
    IVF #2: July/August 2014: 18R/12M/8F, 2 blastocysts transferred = BFN, nothing to freeze.
    IVF #3: October/November 2014: 22R/17M/15F, 2 early blastocysts transferred = BFN, nothing to freeze.

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  • jen102279jen102279 member
    @Sigh202 I am so sorry for everything that you and DH have been through.  You have not had an easy journey.  I agree, there is a very lucky baby out there who is waiting.  You will be in my thoughts
    ****Signature warning Losses Mentioned****






    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


    BFP#1 07/01/2004 ~ EDD 03/10/2005 ~     D&C 8/1/2004 @ 5w5d
    BFP#2 12/27/10 ~ EDD 9/06/2011 ~ DS born 08/14/11 via c-section, passed away 10/17/11
    BFP#3 09/07/12 ~ EDD 5/09/2013 ~ DS born 01/30/13 survived for 2 hrs
    08/06/14 Waiting for 1st IVF cycle to begin

    IVF#1: started stims 9/15; trigger 9/24; ET 9/26-5R 5M, 5F. 3 biopsied for PGD

    image           image





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  • tumbleweed123tumbleweed123 member
    I'm so sorry for all you've been through.  You and your H are in my thoughts and prayers and I am sending so many good wishes as you begin this adventure in front of you.  
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  • shelbeans82shelbeans82 member
    Wishing you all the best as you move forward ((hugs))
                        imageimage

                    image  imageimage
                      imageimage
      

    TTC #1 since November 2011
    Dx: Unexplained Infertility, probable endometriosis
    Feb-April 2013: Femara + TI: BFN
    May - September 2013:  Follistim + Ovidrel + IUI#1-4 = BFN
    IVF # 1 November 2013: transferred 1 perfect blast = BFN
    IVF # 2 April 2014: Endo scrape, transferred 2 blasts = BFP!! (first ever!), CP
    FET #1 June 2014: transferred 2 blasts = BFFN
    New Dx: Repeat Implantation Failure
     IVF # 3 November 2014 = BFP!!  Beta #1 9dp5t 272  Beta # 2 11dp5dt 626
    It's Twins! 
    *everyone welcome*
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  • fayth4onefayth4one member
    What a heart wrenching decision! Thanks for sharing your strength with us all!
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  • Sunny BSunny B member
    Wishing you so much comfort and luck going forward!
    TTC since May 2012
    Me: 32 H: 31
    DX: MFI-Very Low Count, I have Hashimotos.
    IVF prep September 2013 cancelled due to Ovarian Cyst
    IVF #1 October 2013 Antagonistic Protocol with ICSI  ER 10/31/13 (18R 16M 11F- 6 blasts to freeze)
    ET delayed due to OHSS 
    FET scheduled for July 8. Delayed due to a crazy high TSH (it had been under control for YEARS!)
    FET #1 8/5/14 sET BFN 

    All welcome!
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