Introduction
cpedward
member
Hi Group,
I'm a newbie who has been periodically lurking since my first miscarriage right before labor day. I was 6.5 weeks along and started bleeding. I was given the "blighted ovum" explanation and given cytotec to move things along. I'm 31 and DH is 33. It was a tough hit to take and I've been struggling with some depression since the loss but it has brought me and DH closer together in a type of intimacy that is profoundly different than we had before so I guess there's the silver lining. I've been avoiding bump message boards for a bit (not completely because I am an addict) to try to regain some aspects of my life that do not revolve solely around pregnancy or ttc. I feel like the depression comes and goes in waves but is gradually getting better so I'm praying my initial super low-lows were grief compounded by hormone fluctuations. In any case, I am scared to get pregnant again. I have an undiagnosed autoimmune disorder (lupus-like but the doctor's can't perfectly get me in a box) and my blood tests recently confirmed I am neutrapenic. I struggle with knowing what to do since doctor's don't seem to have a lot of answers in this area and how autoimmune impacts pregnancy and early loss. This time around (god-willing) I'm going to a western ob/gyn (we'd previously selected a midwife birthing center) who will monitor the pregnancy more closely but other than that I feel pretty powerless over this whole situation and I fear that my future holds another loss. I don't want to manifest my own destiny here but it is difficult to be positive but manage your expectations at the same time. I should probably stay off the internet and stop reading nih articles but how do you balance being informed with obsessing?
In any case, it's nice to have a group of women who understand how painful and consuming this is. Thank you ladies for being here.
Re: Introduction
I think this is a balance we all struggle with. I'm sorry for your loss, but I hope you'll find this to be a supportive place.
My Ovulation Chart
***Siggy Warning - loss mentioned***
*S15 Siggy January Siggy Challenge - Happy Dance*
ME: 32 DH: 38
BFP#1 - 7/18/14; EDD 3/23/14; MMC 8/11/14 (passed naturally on 8/17/14)
BFP#2 - 12/29/14; EDD 9/10/15 *PLEASE BE OUR RAINBOW!*
Hope you figure out how to do it.
BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)