3rd IUI =???

Officerofthelaw · September 2014

I'm super frustrated and sad right now. Today is only 11 days post IuI and I took a test and it was a BFN:( my heart is breaking. I know I still have a few days left in the TWW, but this is disheartening. I'm starting to get discouraged and am wondering how all of you handle your discouragement. I hurt:(

Officerofthelaw · September 2014

@CrazyAunt84‌ we are on medicated cycles. Thanks for all the information. I really do appreciate it.

JGY · September 2014

CrazyAunt84 said:

I'm so sorry. The hurt and discouragement are very real, and they're the worst.

Each person here would probably give you totally different suggestions for coping, and at least for me, how I deal changes almost every cycle. There have been cycles where I've had a total meltdown and just needed space to cry for a couple days, and cycles where I've said "Screw this shit!" and jumped in the hot tub with a bottle of wine.

If you can, do something for yourself. Go get a massage, or a facial, or a pedicure. Indulge in a few of the things you've avoided and will have to avoid during pregnancy - wine, hot tubs, sushi, good cheese. Talk to your partner. I didn't realize until a few cycles in that C's emotions were on the same roller coaster as mine. She had been so stoic and supportive, that I didn't realize how badly her heart was breaking as well.

There isn't any right answer, and there isn't any solution that will make this process less difficult. It's painful to want something so badly it keeps you awake at night, and be told "no" month after month. Talk to your doctor. (I'm sorry, I forget what your protocol is. Are you doing medicated cycles?) Our doctor let us skip right over natural cycles and go to medicated. It's not for everyone, but they do have a lot of options to try to move things along.

Lastly, as hard as it seems, don't stop living. It's taken us 6 BFNs to even begin to figure this part out, so I know that it's way easier said than done. But don't let your life slip by in 2 week chunks. You'll spend 2 weeks waiting to O, and to more weeks waiting for a Beta, and before you know it, months will have slipped by. Try planning some things that are non-fertility related that will give you something to look forward to, and to measure days by. Get excited about a hobby, or plan time with friends. It's not easy, but it helps so much.

All of this and exactly this. CrazyAunt is wise.

I'm so sorry that you are hurting. I remember that hurt like it was yesterday. You are definitely not alone.

ticktock0903 · September 2014

I am so sorry, I tested at 11 & 12 dpo and got a BFN as well. Its heartbreaking but at the same time, I don't feel like its really over until AF arrives. Wait a while and then test again. Don't lose faith, keep your head up and know that something good is coming your way. Much love and you're definitely in my thoughts and prayers.

mallory4284 · September 2014

Sorry about your BFN

I know testing early is no fun, but in retrospect, it kind of made it slightly easier when AF did finally show up. Don't get me wrong, it was still hard, but I was at least expecting it, so it hurt just a tad less....

My IVFs were harder hits than my IUIs and I took those negatives worse. Depending on the cycle, I'm with CrazyAunt, it was either just wanting to be alone and crying or just being bummed and going on with my life. Every time was different.

Believe me though, I know how hard it is.... Like they said though, so stuff for yourself! Have a fun date night! Go shopping (I had quite a few retail therapy sessions after BFNs!) Do what you can to take time for you....

Officerofthelaw · October 2014

@ticktock0903‌ thank you... I believe we got the IUI's done around the same time. I did go get blood work today and I'll know something tomorrow. I just want an answer, that way I can plan for the next one.
@‌jgy...thank you:)
@mallory4284‌ ... Thank you..I def will take time to so fun things.

Twochickshavinachick · October 2014

We agree totally with the advice @CrazyAunt84 has posted. Whilst it is very easy to live in two week cycles during this journey, it is far better for you to have at least one other thing to mark out your days with. Preferably not something that you can associate with a cycle (e.g the once a month big-date-night used to make me feel awful, when the waiter asked if we wanted a drink with our meal) Instead, maybe take up a new hobby like writing, art, photography...heck, try flower arranging if it keeps you from climbing the walls.

That said, don't forget that the-powers-that-be have a very warped sense of humour. We insem'd on what would have been the day after ovulation, had a negative on testing day and a positive the day after. It could be that you just don't have enough hormone in your system yet; 11 days isn't necessarily enough time for a final bell.

Either way, best wishes and remember that you'll always have people here who will listen to, support, celebrate and commiserate with you.

Officerofthelaw · October 2014

@Twochickshavinachick‌: I appreciate that. I just tested again (day 12) and it was negative. I'm hoping my blood results today will say differently:(

3rd IUI =???

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