Opinions Needed. Do you plan for your future baby?

Hollowvic · September 2014

I'm always seeing baby stuff on Pinterest and in the stores. Now that we're planning on doing IVF in November we have this positive feeling it will work (we have to or we'll go insane right now). Don't get me wrong, I am preparing for the disappointment if it doesn't. Anyway, I have avoided looking at anything baby or pregnancy, not only is it too painful but I'm a little superstitious and don't want to jinx it. Well, I am thinking of starting a secret board on Pinterest, a girl can dream right? Do you think I should avoid it until I finally get my miracle? Does anybody else look at nurseries, clothes and cute stuff for their future baby even though they are struggling to concieve? Or am I setting myself up for more heartache? Just looking for your thoughts and opinions.

lebradford · September 2014

I think whatever you can handle in the moment is completely fine. Personally, it just makes me sad right now. However, if it made me happy and I could easily hide it later (either avoid my Pinterest board, shove baby purchases in the closet, etc.) then I'd go for it!

And yay for November IVF! I'm hoping to be doing IVF in November too!

curve31 · September 2014

I have a secret pinterest board. Not that I go looking at stuff, just if something shows on the feed that I like, I'll pin it.

As for buying stuff. Heck no. That's totally jinxing it. I have donated stuff in my garage, that's bad enough.

theholmanherd · September 2014

I have a Pinterest board and MH and I have bought stuff. We have quite a few things, actually. It helps me stay hopeful, but I think I'm in the minority on that. I just see such good deals sometimes and don't want to pass them up because I know I will use them someday.

LindseyM2012 · September 2014

**Step child briefly mentioned**

I'm so glad you're staying optimistic about your upcoming IVF. I hope you keep that up! As far as looking for baby things, I think it depends on how you're able to handle things. Everyone is different. If looking at baby things keeps you hopeful and optimistic, go for it. If you look at baby things and your mind wanders to the side of "I don't know if it'll ever happen for me...", or "I'm so fed up with this IF stuff...", maybe think about how much time you spend looking at all the cuteness.

Before we started TTC, I had (and still have) and Pinterest board: "Things for ___ (stepson) and my future kids." This was a good way to find ideas to enhance my relationship with my stepson, as well as secretly dream about becoming a mom myself. When we started TTC, I made a secret "Pregnancy" and a secret "Mommy How To" board. I still looked at stuff (especially nursery stuff) when we became officially 3T, but now I don't even look at anything because I just know that I will have more bad IF days than good days if I let myself get too far ahead. I don't even talk about the possibility of being pregnant with my husband or friends, because I know how I'll react to that. It will be lovely in the moment, but I'll get sad and have a pity party later.

DSculley1824 · September 2014

Every now and then I will see a super cute nursery idea. I just screenshot them and save them in my phone for later use. I think I only have like 6 pictures but I don't want to forget such a cute idea! But, it makes it hard if I'm having a bad day and stumble upon them.

Hollowvic · September 2014

It feels good to know that others have boards on Pinterest. I'm Trying to be positive and hopeful about this upcoming IVF cycle, I figure it's the best chance we have. Until now I couldn't even look at anything baby or pregnancy related, but for some reason now that we're doing IVF I feel much more optimistic. If I am having a bad day I can avoid it. I Won't buy anything though, not until I know for sure we are good to go, god willing. I started my secret board today, I can't wait for it to be a reality.

dancerspose · September 2014

Personally I am very superstitious about these things and do not plan at all however, to each his/her own so I think you should do whatever you're comfortable with and whatever helps keep you sane.

mmmKayy · September 2014

I window shop all the time, but I haven't ever bought anything. MH is wanting to start stocking up now, but like many of you, I feel it'll jinx us. But I did just find out that my mom has been buying stuff for us, and has been keeping it a secret lol. She said she just knows we'll be KU soon and we'll thank her for getting a head start lol.

BunnyBerry · September 2014

Sometimes I love looking at baby stuff and planning and fantasizing - it can feel like the closest I get to being a mom at times. Recently started building my secret baby registry. And I get books for a future kid maybe monthly (but I already had a collection from teaching over the years). The important thing is, though, that when it suddenly starts making me sad, I can ignore it for months if needed until it feels like time to indulge again! If you have the mood to get into baby/planning stuff, I would totally enjoy it.

saritacw · September 2014

Seems everyone is different and if it works for you now and makes you happy, go for it. If things don't go well having a Pinterest board might not make you happy, but not having it wont make everything ok either.

@lebradford has it right in my opinion. If it's working for you now, great. Just think about how quickly you can get it out of sight later if you need to.

jessimi06 · September 2014

I have two secret Pinterest boards; one for baby stuff and one for maternity clothes. The only time I really pin to the boards is during my tww (it's the only time I really look) unless something super cute comes up in my feed.

BandM14 · September 2014

I haven't pinned anything, and honestly I try to avoid seeing baby-related things online or even in person (we went furniture shopping the other day and I avoided the children's section like the plague for fear it would make me sad). But reading some other posts on here makes me wonder if it could actually be a good thing, by gathering some positive energy. Right now we haven't started tx and are just in limbo, so I feel completely hopeless. Maybe that feeling is counterproductive, and getting excited about baby things will put me in a better place.. I don't know. I would do whatever you find makes you feel happiest, but thanks for posting this because it made me think about the benefits of something I've been largely avoiding through this process!

MARISAV77 · September 2014

I must admit I have multiple Secret baby Boards on Pinterest! "When We're pregnant" "Baby Nurseries" "Pregnancy Announcements" "Baby Photo Ideas" and "Baby Hodgepodge" I don't think it's a bad idea, it gives me hope to pin stuff like this, because I really feel we will be pregnant one day, it's just taking us longer than we'd hope

Future*Mrs*Wolfer · September 2014

I am probably the worst when it comes to this. I have several Pintrest boards, some secret, some not. I also have quite a bit of baby stuff. Right now I have most of it displayed in my office (yup, I'm crazy, I know). We have been TTC for just over a year.

I'm of the belief that you do what makes you happy and feel good. Especially during a time like this. If you want to make a pintrest board - go for it! If it ever becomes too hard to look at, delete it. But one thing that has been the hardest for me and my spouse, is watching literally everyone else we know participating in all that fun baby stuff. So, if I stumble upon the worlds most adorable gender neutral pajamas with racoons riding a scooter on them (yes, a racoon riding a scooter), I'm going to buy them, because I want to. Is it crazy? You bet! But it makes me laugh to think about where that little raccoon could possibly be going.

I hope this helps you. Now you can say, "Even if I do create a Pintrest board, I won't be as crazy as that one girl who replied to my post!"

kushie77 · September 2014

**child mentioned**

We had bought some books, which are tucked up in the closet. Now that we are moving forward with the foster to adopt process we have started looking at stuff. A friend of mine has given us some stuff that her DD has outgrown and is neutral. They are in the storeroom. I won't put them in the spare room yet.

AnonymousNurse · September 2014

Glad to see I'm not the only one with a secret pinterest board! When I'm being a downer on myself, seeing stuff about other people's kids/pregnancies usually upsets me but browsing cute, anonymous baby pics and products is a good boost of positive energy and gets me excited all over again.

LindseyM2012 · September 2014

triathlete23 said:

The most planning we've done is paint our spare bedroom a neutral color. Back it 2012 we bought a minivan (mostly because DH didn't want an SUV or a truck, but we wanted the cargo space), and I remember thinking at the time about how it would be useful for babies soon too! Sometimes just driving the van on a bad IF day sucks.

However, after reading everyone's opinions I'm wondering if I should start thinking more positively and planning, at least on Pinterest. I forgotten to be excited about the end goal, and what this whole IF journey will hopefully bring!

The bolded part is so true! I'm usually very good at reframing bad/sad situations into something more positive, but it is difficult to do with IF. Must find the mental and emotional energy to reframe the moments of impatience and frustration to positivity. Perhaps: going through IF will make me more appreciative of the eventual pregnancy and baby (I talk to so many people daily who do not appreciate having a child, and actually threaten to "take them out of this world"). Also, I know for sure that going through IF has made me much more empathetic toward others and more likely to second guess my assumptions, which will help me in my career as a therapist.

loveinkw13 · September 2014

Totally guilty of having a secret pinterest board. Sometimes I pin to it when I'm driving myself crazy in the TWW. But honestly, I haven't looked at it for a few months. Like PP's, I typically use it when I'm feeling hopeful and stop once I start feeling sad.

Hollowvic · September 2014

@murrt I agree totally about the thinking yourself into the reality that you want. I just saw something recently about positive thinking and how if you think positive there's almost no way you can't achieve it, that's kind of the mentality I I'm trying to have right now. Like @NariaDreaming‌ said also, I have been superstitious for so long now that I doubt not planning or having a secret Pinterest board is the reason it's not happening, I threw superstitions out the window, now it's up to me and science.

dos30 · September 2014

I have a secret pinterest board, but like others on here only pin to it when I see something pop up that interests me. I don't really go searching for things because I feel like I'll jinx it or something. It's kind of like pinning wedding dresses before you're engaged! Haha. But, if it makes you feel good, then I say go for it. Nothing wrong with dreaming and keeping a positive attitude! I am a firm believer that optimism can help bring you your desired results. Keep the faith that it WILL happen one day.

dominicandreamer · September 2014

I think everyone is a little different. For instance, I've had a secret board on Pinterest for years but waited almost a year to join TTTC because I knew how hard I could take it.

If you think you'll be upset seeing if should you get a BFN, you may want to hold on until you're more prepared. There's nothing wrong with it at all. We all take things very differently and in our own way.

GL on your cycle.

Chasity08 · September 2014

I have a secret board as well that I started when I first started trying to conceive but I just stay off of it now because it makes me sad.

dominicandreamer · September 2014

Speaking of, isn't it interesting how so many of us have secret pinterest boards for babies. I started mine long before we started TTC in case people thought something was happening to us.

Sorry didn't mean to hijack, just feeling some solidarity with you guys.

blsav23 · September 2014

I just bought a set of cute booties today. I tell myself I will give them to my hubby when I get my BFP. It makes me feel hopefully & normal.

SweetieShellieH · September 2014

I have 2 pinterest boards, and a bunch of baby stuff. Some in a box, some just in random places around the house. I think its the only thing keeping me sane some days and helps me remember why I'm going through all this crap! One day our baby will use it (gotta keep telling myself that!)

je333206 · September 2014

I have a secret Pinterest board, a diaper bag that DH bought for me when we started TTC, huge storage bins of books and a few tubs of clothes. We'll be out and I'll see something cute and DH tells me to "get it for my box". Clearly he is able to remain very positive through all of this, he's the best

jenmcD11 · September 2014

I don't use pinterest (although I might check it out after reading this thread since it seems so popular!) and I haven't bought any baby items.

However, when I'm feeling optimistic, I knit something for my future baby. I have made three sweaters, one onesie and a diaper cover over the last year and a half. I like seeing them there and picturing my child wearing them. Like NariaDreaming said, "if I knit it, they will come". I have also started cleaning out the spare room which will be the baby's room but won't buy anything for it until I am in my second trimester.

chicory · September 2014

I'm in the"guarding myself" camp and really don't buy anything. When we bought our house and remodeled the room that would (hopefully) be a nursery, I painted it yellow so it would be easy to decorate either way, but I've never allowed myself to talk about it as a nursery. Recently DH and I were at Kohl's and I saw this print with lyrics from "You are my Sunshine." My mom always sang that to me as a child, and for once in my life, I really wanted to buy it for our someday baby. I showed it to DH and he kinda froze up...I could tell he wasn't ready, so I left it there. So, yeah, that was depressing! My weakness is letting myself lurk around on TB and read birth stories.

mindaa · September 2014

I started looking at the pregnancy and parenting boards on TB before I ended up on the TTC boards. So yeah, I've fully researched accessories like baby joggers and carriers. I was really optimistic!

As far as taking action on preparing, I kind of have, but in a different way. The year we started trying (which is now two years ago), I replaced my Wrangler with practical "family" car and we purchased a bond that matures in 18 years (thinking it would be a perfect college fund). I also refinished a dresser and hutch that are just sitting and waiting in the empty, TBD room of the house.

Like triathlete23 said, I've had days where I totally resent my car!

Hollowvic · September 2014

@chicory I wouldn't be able to buy anything yet either, that's just too painful. I see stuff all the time, but I won't buy it. That's why the secret Pinterest board is so good, I can avoid it and it's all virtual stuff for the time being, if it gets to be too much I can always delete it. Like today I am in no mood to look at it.

yepitsme215 · September 2014

Hollowvic said:

I'm always seeing baby stuff on Pinterest and in the stores. Now that we're planning on doing IVF in November we have this positive feeling it will work (we have to or we'll go insane right now). Don't get me wrong, I am preparing for the disappointment if it doesn't. Anyway, I have avoided looking at anything baby or pregnancy, not only is it too painful but I'm a little superstitious and don't want to jinx it. Well, I am thinking of starting a secret board on Pinterest, a girl can dream right? Do you think I should avoid it until I finally get my miracle? Does anybody else look at nurseries, clothes and cute stuff for their future baby even though they are struggling to concieve? Or am I setting myself up for more heartache? Just looking for your thoughts and opinions.
___________________________________________________

I'm like you. A bit superstitious. But I have a board on pinterest because I *know* that someday I will be a mom. (I have a "daughter" now that is actually a foster child that is technically my niece, but it is my dream to have a baby of my own.) If you sit there an think "it might not ever happen" then those negative feelings will impose. Trust me, I know this as a fact.

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Opinions Needed. Do you plan for your future baby?

Re: Opinions Needed. Do you plan for your future baby?

March 2014 - RE appt.
April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormal
May 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm

12/2014- Surprise natural BFP EDD 7/31/15 Plan: Starting foster to adoption, natural cycles

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Want a personalized experience?

Opinions Needed. Do you plan for your future baby?

Re: Opinions Needed. Do you plan for your future baby?

March 2014 - RE appt. April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormalMay 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm

12/2014- Surprise natural BFP EDD 7/31/15 Plan: Starting foster to adoption, natural cycles

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

March 2014 - RE appt.
April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormal
May 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm