Let's talk about sex (veteran mom advice needed)

mrsalvidrez · September 2014

I know there has been several threads about sex drive, but I am getting so frustrated with not having any! I wanted to ask the non-first-timers if you remember about when (what week) your sex drive came back, or if it ever did. I have a ten day vacation with DH coming up and I will be just short of 15 weeks when we leave. I am really hoping my "juices are flowing" by then.

Dani428 · September 2014

Sex drive? Yeah not so much during my last pregnancy. Same with @jenny5o5, not until a few months after I had Charlotte.

mrsalvidrez · September 2014

Thanks @Dani428‌ @jenny5o5‌ I feel like pre-pregnancy I always heard about how horny pregnant people get and the amazing sex, lol! I'm like ummm where's that at?!

Dani428 · September 2014

Urban legends @mrsalvidrez lol. Everyone's different though so i'm sure those people are out there...i'm DEF not one of them though lol.

shoeflypie · September 2014

Once I realized that DH thought I was sexy even with a blump/huge baby belly, my self conscious mind stopped stopping me from having a sex drive. I was so tired that at the end it was only a means to induce labor! Then I didn't have a sex drive until school was out and DD was 5mo. I was way too tired being a new, working mom.

This pregnancy however, I've had a huge sex drive! Maybe it depends on the pregnancy and the person?

Unknown · September 2014

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vickersh1 · September 2014

mrsalvidrez said:

Thanks @Dani428‌ @jenny5o5‌ I feel like pre-pregnancy I always heard about how horny pregnant people get and the amazing sex, lol! I'm like ummm where's that at?!

No kidding. I think it skipped me and all went to DH. I told him the other night I am glad that he is still interested in me as my body is changing and growing, but some nights I would just prefer to not be touched. LOL

mhickey426 · September 2014

With my first it came back pretty much once I hit the 2nd tri. This time no sign of it yet. I pretty much had to throw my dh a bone for his bday. No sex drive and constant morning sickness has really put a strain on things. Hopefully, it will get better soon. He did say he loves pregnant sex with me that I am crazy. Haha I really am not sure what he means by that but hey whatever works!

jhesterm · September 2014

I'm still waiting for mine but my good friend who is 5 weeks along with #2 basically didn't want her husband to touch her at all with her first and says she already has that same feeling with this one. She basically wanted no intimacy until several months after her son was born. Guess it hits everyone differently.
My sex drive is better but until my stupid uterus flips forward it's too uncomfortable.

ElizabethSwann · September 2014

Whenever i started drinking wine again PP.

mrsalvidrez · September 2014

Well all of this is helpful even if it means realizing I might not gain it back the entire pregnancy. DH is awesome in this area, he still acts 100% attracted to me and has been amazingly patient so I'm lucky in that area. The frustrating thing is that my sex dreams are so freakig real and I wake up and nothing! Lol.

BabiesEverywhere · September 2014

Honestly, mine didn't come back until I started ovulating again when DD was 10 months old. Hopefully yours comes back before then! But I second what PPs said - make up your mind that a certain day/time (doesn't have to be the same every day or week, obviously) is going to be go time. Then hopefully you'll be able to mentally psych yourself up for it in time. Or if being exhausted is part of your problem, take advantage of weekends when you might have more time to have sex in the morning or afternoon. I know for me, it's hard to be in the mood if we wait until we're crawling into bed to go to sleep...pregnant momma needs her sleep over here!

Flowerstar1023 · September 2014

Thanks for posting this and glad I'm not the only one OP. I went from uber sex drive to nada by about five weeks and no sign of it returning! Glad to hear there's hope.

littlewest1 · September 2014

I don't really have much of a drive but try to make an effort once in awhile and usually end end up enjoying it once we get started. I think it does pick up some in the second tri though. After birth I never cared if I did it again because it hurt sometimes and I was always so tired. I don't think it ever really came back to where it was before kids. Sad.

miahbelle · September 2014

Am I the only one freaked out when internet strangers ask about this stuff? Like I have no clue who you are... Why would I answer you about my personal life?

littlewest1 · September 2014

miahbelle said:

Am I the only one freaked out when internet strangers ask about this stuff? Like I have no clue who you are... Why would I answer you about my personal life?

That is what Internet forums are for. A great way to get infomation on a lot of embarassing topics you wouldn't feel comfortable asking your mom or girlfriends about.

mrsmopar67 · September 2014

Bring lube and whatever else gets you in the mood and tell your hubby to step up his romantic game. Mind over matter. Sex while pregnant feels better IMO it's just the matter of making yourself just DO it lol

Critter015 · September 2014

Mine seems to come back in 2nd tri, but by 3rd tri I have issues with not being able to get comfortable/not being able to use positions I like and also the extra blood flow down there causes things to swell and it can be uncomfortable for a while afterwards.

With my first it took forever to get my drive back after delivery, I think it was probably around 9 months post partum and then I got pregnant with DS. With my second I had a super easy delivery with no tearing or anything and my drive was back at around 4-5 weeks post partum. I did have a loss of drive due to breastfeeding as well.

shoeflypie · September 2014

Critter015 said:
Mine seems to come back in 2nd tri, but by 3rd tri I have issues with not being able to get comfortable/not being able to use positions I like and also the extra blood flow down there causes things to swell and it can be uncomfortable for a while afterwards.

With my first it took forever to get my drive back after delivery, I think it was probably around 9 months post partum and then I got pregnant with DS. With my second I had a super easy delivery with no tearing or anything and my drive was back at around 4-5 weeks post partum. I did have a loss of drive due to breastfeeding as well.

I put a prep H wipe or tucks pad in my underwear after sex! It helped with the 3rd Tri swelling. Don't sit on anything cloth or you will leave a wet spot lol

Hummingbirdbaby3 · September 2014

I ALWAYS have a sex drive. But the first tri for me is always without sex drive. It's coming back now at 11 weeks thank goodness.

pnutg · September 2014

I have to just make myself do it. Because I never "feel" like it. Once we get started I enjoy it. The worst was post partum. It took a good 6-8 months before sex was even comfortable.

mrsalvidrez · October 2014

@justagirl86‌ I hate you. Jk I don't, but I'm super jealous!

mrsalvidrez · October 2014

@miahbelle‌ you can be freaked out. For me this is a comfortable place to ask questions and I always know that someone will relate. We also aren't ten anymore so talking about sex and other tmi topics doesn't seem like a big deal.

JLaudio · October 2014

My pregnancies have been the same in the sexual area. 1st tri, don't touch me, 2nd tri, I CANNOT get enough, 3rd tri, I want it but I can't breathe. Afterwards is a whole different story, my sex drive is definitely there at about 3-4 weeks PP but can't do anything, after given the go ahead, it just flat out HURTS.

be888 · October 2014

Last pregnancy I couldn't get enough. This time I don't really feel like it, but once we get going I get in the mood I hope it comes back because pregnant sex is great.

Blergbot · October 2014

Sometimes I'm not particularly in the mood (but never actively NOT in the mood) and I just need a little warming up to it. Our sex life has been pretty active. My ms tends to go away at night and I think it's starting to wind down over all. In the first 6 weeks or so sex was really fantastic, but now it's lost its edge a little bit. Which is okay. I still put in the effort.

WeLiveInMaine · October 2014

It seems to be hit or miss as opposed to on or off on my experience.

fiscally3 · October 2014

With my second pregnancy it came back around second trimester, once morning sickness decreased. Diminished in the last month because I was achy and had a hard time finding a comfortable position. I was more proactive with the second, we had a long dry spell after our first (I was told to start the pill after my first period, and didn't get that until 3.5 months later, and there was no way I was risking gettting pregnant again.)

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