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My 4 1/2yr girl is a tyrant boss :-/

diana.filipidiana.filipi member
in Pre-School and Daycare
I feel so out of my depth.  My daughter is clever and bright and is also a freaking tyrant.  She is particular without regard to others feelings and he is bossy as hell.  I DO realize that the things I find so frustrating about her now will be the same traits that make her an awesome and independent 24 year old but I am still struggling with my own reactions in the moment with her.  Anyone else?
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Re: My 4 1/2yr girl is a tyrant boss :-/

  • neverblushedneverblushed member
    A great thing about a smart 4 1/2 year old girl is that she can probably be reasoned with to an extent, if you keep the explanations simple and concrete.  I think a simple explanation of how her behavior comes across to others combined with natural consequences will help her learn how to control her impulse to have things her way all the time.

    You might say, "When you talk like that, you're being very mean and bossy.  I know you want people to listen to you.  Sometimes people will listen more if you're nice.  If you're mean, they won't want to cooperate with you."

    Then, when she is bossy around the house -- to you, to her brothers, to friends on a playdate -- you can say, "AHEM.  I just don't feel like doing that for you because you're being so mean and bossy about it.  Why don't you try saying that again in a NICE voice."  Then ignore her 100% until she manages to change her manners. 

    If you don't give in and you support her siblings and friends in not giving in to her bossy, tyrannical manners, she'll learn to change.  What she's doing is not uncommon for 4 year olds, who are trying to figure out how to use the power and control they've gained in years 2 and 3!
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • MN2UKMN2UK member
    Please don't label her "bossy", a word that is ONLY applied to females.  Otherwise, PP gave good advice.
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