How important is a schedule?

Meery82 · September 2014

I need some insight here. How important do you think it is for a 2 year old to be on a schedule? Such as meals, napping, etc always at the same time every day. My husband thinks this is very important and gets pissed if I'm out doing something with DS and put him down for a nap a few hours later than usual. I'm not sure what to think. Thoughts?

JENandJEH · September 2014

For us, the only thing we stick to a strict schedule with is sleep. If he goes down for a nap an hour or two later, he won't go to bed on time and is harder to get to bed which means he typically wakes up earlier instead of sleeping later. For that reason, we're sticklers on naptime. Also, I selfishly enjoy my own downtime at night and if he isn't going to bed until 9 or later, I don't get to do my own things/have downtime with DH.

Meals tend to always be around the same time because if not, he gets cranky from being over hungry.

smileybabyboy · September 2014

I don't think they are important and I am glad DS isn't on one. He eats meals around the same time every day, sometime earlier, sometimes later. We will put him down for his afternoon nap when we are home and he looks tired. I think it makes life more difficult if they are on strict schedules. Then you have to make sure the meal is ready when he needs it and you have to make sure you are home on time to put LO down for a nap. I wanted DS on a schedule when he was a baby, but I'm glad we never established one. It makes outings less stressful for me.

TiffanyBerry · September 2014

I think it depends on your kid. For some kids, they are very important, for others, they are not.

Your husband's point has some physiological basis, however. If you keep a regular schedule, your body's hormone production (for hunger hormones, sleeping hormones, etc.) is kept more regular, and you are likely to get more consistent hunger cues (and eat better because of the consistency) and get better sleep and stay healthier (from the consistent sleep, mostly). These are all *relative* things, however, and they are a bigger impact in some people and a smaller one in others.

And there is a lot of room between *NO* schedule and a very rigid schedule.

Meery82 · September 2014

Thanks guys

ashiscute · September 2014

TiffanyBerry said:

I think it depends on your kid. For some kids, they are very important, for others, they are not.

Your husband's point has some physiological basis, however. If you keep a regular schedule, your body's hormone production (for hunger hormones, sleeping hormones, etc.) is kept more regular, and you are likely to get more consistent hunger cues (and eat better because of the consistency) and get better sleep and stay healthier (from the consistent sleep, mostly). These are all *relative* things, however, and they are a bigger impact in some people and a smaller one in others.

And there is a lot of room between *NO* schedule and a very rigid schedule.

All of this is great. My kids get hungry and tired around the same time every day but we can always be flexible if we need to.

sunnyday016 · September 2014

For my DS, putting him down for a nap a few hours later would be a BIG deal because he would not sleep, it would be a terrible afternoon and evening, and he would be overtired for bed and not go down well. Because of all that, it's simply never worth it to mess with naps. If we are out of the house for the whole day, we skip the nap and deal with it, but when it's possible to plan our day so he gets his nap on time, that's what we do.

FabulousMrs.P · September 2014

I think it depends on how flexible your child is. In some things my DD can be flexible (meal time), but she needs to nap at around the same time in the afternoon. If I put her down much later, then she won't sleep at night. That's just my kid though...every kid is different.

emberlee3 · September 2014

When DS was a toddler, no matter how perfectly I tried to schedule our days, he still inexplicably skipped naps or had trouble falling asleep. I loosened up because I figured we were missing out on a lot of fun for very little payoff.

With DD, she is pretty flexible. We stick to a rough schedule because she needs to start her nap pretty early so we can pick up DS from kindergarten.

dufferoo · September 2014

are either you or your husband a stay-at-home parent? if so, i would think that person would have a better idea of what works, and i would probably let them decide how important a schedule truly is. otherwise, i would say just watch your kid. if he does fine taking a late nap once in awhile, then great. but if it ends up causing anybody strife later (because he's overtired/cranky/won't fall asleep at night/etc.), then maybe you need consider being more rigid. in our case, a sleep schedule is pretty clutch, and we always end up regretting it when we screw around with naptime, but we could care less about eating times.

blu-eyedwife · September 2014

Another vote for "depends on the kid." Some really need the consistency of a schedule. If that's thrown off, then it's miserable for everyone, including the child. Some children are okay with less structure.

TiffanyBerry said:

And there is a lot of room between *NO* schedule and a very rigid schedule.

I also agree with this. We have "windows" of scheduling. So lunch is usually sometime between 11:30 and 1. Naptime starts anywhere from 12:30-2. We're consistent about those times for the most part (this weekend he wanted to take a nap at 11:30 and eat lunch later, sometimes lunch and nap are both later due to activities) but within that window there's a lot of flexibility and variation.

DawnJM25 · September 2014

Lots of good advice here. Meals, naptime, and bedtime are roughly the same times at our house, but there are some exceptions if we have playdates or are out running errands, etc. I agree that it depends on the kid, and probably the parents, too. If you are a more routine-oriented person, you are probably more likely to run your family that way. If you are more flexible, maybe the kids' "routine" is more flexible. Every family is different. DD is like clockwork with sleep, but DS is the type of kid that I could probably just put down when he looks tired and he would fall asleep. Selfishly, I like them to nap and go to bed at the same time so I get my time. There's no right or wrong- whatever works for your family.

Meery82 · September 2014

dufferoo said:

are either you or your husband a stay-at-home parent? if so, i would think that person would have a better idea of what works, and i would probably let them decide how important a schedule truly is. otherwise, i would say just watch your kid. if he does fine taking a late nap once in awhile, then great. but if it ends up causing anybody strife later (because he's overtired/cranky/won't fall asleep at night/etc.), then maybe you need consider being more rigid. in our case, a sleep schedule is pretty clutch, and we always end up regretting it when we screw around with naptime, but we could care less about eating times.

No, we both work full time, but I only work 3 days a week. So I'm home with him those other days. I think the window approach may be best. I've put him down for a nap several hours later than usual and he's been fine.

Of course, yesterday when my husband bitched that I got home too late and he thought he wouldn't sleep, he didn't. I think it was partially due to the fact that he started crying after bring in his crib awhile, so I knew something was wrong. He had taken a big poop, so I changed him and put him back in the crib. He stayed awake after that. I finally got him out and he ran apeshit for the rest of the day. Fortunately, he crashed when we put him to bed that night. So my husband bitched for the rest of the day about him being put down too late. Ugh.

So anyway, I think I'll just stick with the window. It's just not realistic to do the same exact time every single day. Not for us, anyway. Thanks for all the good advice.

Beevol · October 2014

Every kid is different and it has more to do with what you'd rather deal with as a parent than anything for most kids. Some kids *need* their schedule to be the same every day, but I think most just get cranky/more likely to throw a fit/not sleep well at night/etc when their routine is off. If it's more stressful for you as a family to be home and ready for nap at 1 pm (or whenever) than it is for you and your family to have a toddler pitching a fit at 9 pm, then that's the trade you're making for you/your family's well-being.

We aren't too strict about schedules but try to keep the window within an hour or so so that things don't get too screwed up and that works for us.

jcrising · October 2014

I have always been told a schedule is important to make your child feel safe and secure. That said, we stick to a routine as much as we can, but aren't strict about it, so we allow for changes when we go visit family or have plans, etc. Bedtime is the most "stuck-to" routine. Naps and meals adjust depending on what else is going on. Our DD is happy all the time and knows her routine, but doesn't freak out if we miss it. IMHO, allowing for adjustments teaches her flexibility, within the framework of knowing what the 'normal" routine is.

janinekrause · October 2014

It totally depends on your child. We used to be strict at around 2 with naptime because if we tried to put her down 30-45 minutes later, she just wouldn't sleep.

Meals- we are really flexible because sometimes they snack late morning and want later lunch, etc.

Weekends are a free for all in a lot of ways. My kids are now almost 3 and almost 6- so there are weekends where they go to sleep regular time, and other weekends they are up an hour or two later if we are out or have company. Sometimes they don't have breakfast till 9:30 whereas during the week they eat at 7:30-8.

I have struggled with schedules/flexibility so I have tried to leave some wiggle room so I am not bound to exact hours.

No one naps in my house anymore so I would say the only real schedule is bedtime during the week.

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