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How do you feel about someone other than your SO saying "our baby" or "my baby"

munchiemama104munchiemama104 member
edited September 2014 in October 2014 Moms
Out of curiosity, just wondering how you feel if someone refers to your baby as "my" or "our" baby

How do you feel about someone other than your SO saying "our baby" or "my baby" 180 votes

I can't stand it!
49% 89 votes
It doesn't bother me one bit
10% 19 votes
I only hate it when my MIL says it.
12% 22 votes
Depends how the hormones are that day
27% 50 votes
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Re: How do you feel about someone other than your SO saying "our baby" or "my baby"

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    golfingdarwinfishgolfingdarwinfish member
    edited September 2014
    Thankfully no one other than DH has ever made this claim/statement.
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    MrMrsandBabyMrMrsandBaby member
    No one has done this other than DH so I'm not sure how to answer.  I think it would annoy me but not enough to say anything to the person.
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    JJsMumJJsMum member
    Honestly, the only ones who've said anything like that are my mom and MIL. I also know that they don't mean anything personal by it. As far as I'm concerned, they are allowed to feel possessive of their grandkids! I'm sure it helps that I have wonderful relationships with them too. They both know, and respect, that DH and I are the parents and have first and final say.
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    trisharenee0316trisharenee0316 member
    Both my mom and MIL say it and it grates on my nerves equally.  I guess it annoys me more when my MIL says it, but only because she ALWAYS says it, and because I see/talk to her more than my own mom.  Also because when she says it, she is almost always comparing my daughter to her niece's daughter who is 2 months or so younger, and it drives me nuts to have them constantly compared to one another.



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    pepperpotts317pepperpotts317 member
    theresat858 said:

    It wouldn't bother me if DD said it.

    I agree. DS can call her his baby, but it makes me cringe when other people do it. My Grandma called me her baby my whole life and it always rubbed me the wrong way.
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    jenndubjenndub member
    SPurp13 said:


    jenndub said:

    I think it's adorable when the kids say it. I want to throat punch MIL or MY NEIGHBOR when they say it. Shut up, go away, I'm heartless like @SPurp13‌

    Your fucking neighbor? WHAT?


    Thank you! And she always tells my kids to call her AUNT Lynette. They don't, it's weird. She's only 45, if she was 90 I think I would be cool with it.


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    wildflower75wildflower75 member
    edited September 2014
    I don't mind it at all.
    My MIL says "Nana's baby" instead of my DD's name all the time.
    My mom does the same but somehow when it's said in Spanish it sounds sweeter (?)
    I have girlfriends that ask how's my baby doing?
    In the end it doesn't bother me because all of these people know who her parents are and "who's really running the show".
    It takes a village....
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    SCMommaSCMomma member
    It doesn't bother me, but I've never had anyone say it in a crazed, possessive, stealyourbaby kind of way.
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    lucky6059lucky6059 member
    My mil has said it a couple times, but I know it's because she's excited and loves this baby to the moon already. Family is very important to her and I know she respects her son and I, she doesn't want to be the parent, she wants to be grandma... I'm very thankful to have such a good, supportive person/family. It really does take a village!! If my relationship with her were different, it would probably drive me crazy.
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    Rickaroo922Rickaroo922 member
    I dont mind when my son says it. I think thats sweet. Other than that, it annoys me.i get that they are excited, but I think it's weird.
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    pushgal84pushgal84 member
    MIL is the only one that says it. It wouldn't really bother me if it wasn't for the fact that she has purchased a PnP to put at the end of her bed, her own baby bathtub, and a stash of clothes and diapers. I'm going to be a SAHM and yes she will watch him for an occasional date night, but she acts like she's going to be watching him ALL THE TIME. I don't want to be insensitive, so I haven't said anything to her. DH was her only child, she hasn't had a SO in 30 yrs after divorcing and is beyond excited for a grandson.

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    duckrduckr member
    I think what will determine how someone feels about this is ultimately their relationship with the individual and how confident they feel about becoming/being a parent - or rather how they think they are perceived by others as a parent. In my case, I feel my mother is overbearing and will try to "take over" in certain aspects so when she calls him "her baby" it feels like she is confirming that she finds my ability to care for a child lacking so she will have to take care of this child thus making it "her baby".  This is probably a safe assumption because she is very controlling and questions almost all decisions I make.  I have at times had to walk her through my thought process when I tell her about a decision I've made and she will then tell me whether or not it is a good decision.  It's only until recently I've realized that's kinda fucked up and wondered why do I care so much?  So, our relationship has been a little strained since I've decided to no longer seek her approval on everything in my life and she is having a hard time adjusting to that.

    Wait what were we talking about? ...Oh right - No, don't call my baby, your baby. It's my baby!
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    bumpuser10309732bumpuser10309732 member
    trisharenee0316 said:
    pnwlover12 said:
    My MIL always thinks she is the reason for everything. Like, "Oh! Layla likes to dance! I love dancing so she must get that from me." Totally MIL. Because no 3 yr old likes to dance unless their grandmother does. Give me a fucking break. I just roll my eyes and keep it movin.
    Do we have the same MIL?  This is most of what my MIL does that drives me absolutely insane. She picks any feature my daughter has and it is somehow related to her or her family.  You'd think I had nothing to do with the genetics of my own kid.  My daughter has curly hair, so obviously that comes from MIL.  Nevermind the fact that I also have curly hair and my daughter is biracial so we have basically the same texture and hair type.  Apparently her forehead is like my husband's grandfather, her hands and feet are like my SIL, etc.  It used to make me want to throw things.  My husband and I now joke that her belly button is just like my MIL's cousin's sister's neighbor's uncle's stepfather (and other similar ridiculousness).

    Hahaha yesterday DH's grandmother was like oh look she has my double chin! I laughed like yeah that was probably the doughnuts!
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    turtlewifeyturtlewifey member
    MIL has said "my" baby more times that I bothered to keep track of.  She also would thank us for this wonderful "gift" we were/have given her.  Both of those used to grate on my nerves when I was pregnant with DD and for the first few months of her life. 

    Now that time has passed, I can see that she only says it out of love - not trying to one up me or be territorial, etc, so it no longer bothers me. As far as I am concerned, the more people in DD's (and soon to be DS's) lives that love them unconditionally, the better.  I am not going to damage my/their relationship with MIL/grandma over something as minor as her saying "my" baby. 

    That being said, she is a wonderful MIL (for the most part!).  If I thought she was saying it out of spite, malice, to try to mark her territory, etc. it would bother me. 
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    hbelle331hbelle331 member
    My MIL says it ALLLLLL THE TIME and it gets under my skin. S
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    angeltennis3angeltennis3 member
    The first few times my mom said she couldn't wait for "her baby" to be born it really rubbed me the wrong way. I know she means well, but i agree with the PP that said it is more of a boundaries thing than it is the words themselves. It just raises red flags for me that I am going to get a lot of unsolicited parenting advice. My mom has already sent me emails with disciplinary ideas (because I will clearly be disciplining a newborn...).

    Honestly I am more worried about DHs family. They are very involved in their church, and we have yet to find a good church home where we live, and they keep bringing it up to me like its my fault. Um, talk to your son. I am not getting involved in some religious debate with them.
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    Klavanga74Klavanga74 member
    My MIL is the only one who did it with the other two, and yes, it totally bugs the crap out of me.  I can't think of anyone else other than my kids who would do it this time around and I won't mind that.  
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    FriendlyGhost1012FriendlyGhost1012 member
    My mom did it and I knew she was just excited because this is her first grandchild.  It annoyed DH more than it annoyed me.  Hope she stops after baby is actually here!
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    griffersgriffers member
    Both of DH's parents do this and it does get under my skin. I think it's because there have been a few comments here and there made by MIL that we won't be doing certain things with "her grandson". For example, she thinks the boy scouts are corrupt because her daughter had a questionable experience in girl scouts, so we won't be putting her grandson in boy scouts (according to her). I don't really care either way yet, but don't tell me what I can and can't do with my child.
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    crystal8503crystal8503 member
    Nicb13 said:
    People usually just say that but clearly the baby is not theirs so who gives a shit? It's a waste of time to get pissed over this.

    I agree with this for the most part but it doesn't change the fact that I want to punch my mother in the face whenever she says it.  She knows NOTHING about my son who is 21.5 months old, doesn't call, doesn't text, nothing, and yet had the audacity to think I wanted her drug addicted ass to come stay in my home with my child while we were at the hospital - No mother fucking way.  My step-mother is right up there with me wanting to punch in the face when this is said but it's for different reasons. 

    Anyone else I could give two shits because it's just words but it makes my homicidal when my mother or step-mother say it.  HOMICIDAL.
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    Dani0329Dani0329 member
    No one has said this to us. I'd be annoyed enough to roll my eyes, that's about it.

     
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    PC0909PC0909 member
    My MIL says it ALL THE TIME.  It makes me want to go postal.  It's bad enough I have to work full time and pay her to babysit, but then for her to say he's her baby is just too much for me to handle.

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