Struggling with Weight Gain

sunset30 · September 2014

Is anyone else struggling with the mental aspects of weight gain? I'm typically a very healthy eater, like intense workouts and am in good shape and am pretty proud of being fit and healthy. Due to morning sickness and low energy I have not been working out more than 4-5 times total during the last 8 weeks (every time I worked out the rest of the day I felt absolutely terrible) and have been eating whatever I could keep down (i.e., not nearly as healthy and balanced of a diet as I typically have).

I'm up about 3 pounds at 14 weeks, though feel like my body composition has changed - I've become much less toned and lost some muscle weight and gained flab. I understand intellectually that its normal and healthy to gain 25 - 35 pounds through these 9 months; and I'm on track based on guides of 1-5 pounds in the first trimester and ~1 pound per week after that. However, feeling my clothes become tight and seeing myself get "fatter" especially in non-baby areas and lose fitness levels is making feel pretty down and bad about myself. I typically view my discipline with regards to keeping healthy and in good shape as a big part of my identity and something I'm proud of; so this kind of makes me feel like a failure.

Just curious if others are going through the same thing (I'm sure it's not uncommon) and how you keep your spirits up. I'm so grateful that as far as I know I have a healthy baby, but its still a tough mental adjustment.

Lmsq1611 · September 2014

I have a friend who is near the end of her pregnancy and she has really struggled with this. She has had a fairly easy pregnancy and continued to work out several times per week but struggled as she watched all her progress start to face with having the body she wanted. I have been saying for two years that I need to be working out more regularly but am fortunate that I'm a light eater and can stay fairly thin without too much effort. Due to morning sickness I lost weight and at 17 weeks have only one lb gain but my body looks much different. It has been hard for me to watch my stomach grow. Especially sexually I no longer feel attractive when naked. I think it's just important to focus on what a healthy pregnant body looks like and remember that all pregnancies are different. Some women will feel so good that they can continue with intense work outs and maintain high muscle mass, while the other extreme is a woman who is so sick she is throwing up 20 times per day, feeling incredibly unwell. Some might eat whatever unhealthy food they want and barely gain weight while another woman might eat healthy all through pregnancy and have a lot of weight gain. Pregnancy looks and feels so different on everyone. Just focus on continuing to make the healthy choices that feel right to you, allow you body time to rest and start to feel better, and remember that this is a natural part of life for a woman. Your body has to go through these changes in order for you to have your previous baby. And know that you are not alone in worrying about the body changes. It's completely natural and it is beautiful we if we don't always see it ourselves.

Lark425 · September 2014

I can't even.

Give yourself permission to relax a little. Normal weight gain is a pound a week (that's 40 pounds). If you feel better with exercise, maybe try a walk around the block but nothing strenuous. Remember that your energy will be low until you are able to consume more food. As someone who exersized regularly before getting pregnant, you should know that food=fuel.

Stop getting down on yourself. Your baby will thank you.

SBmomma · September 2014

Be happy you're not in my shoes. I'm carrying twins. My doc says no working out for me. I've gained 20 pounds already because I have to constantly snack to keep the nausea away. Just try to focus on baby right now. It's allllll about baby.

sunset30 · September 2014

Thanks. My nausea is starting to subside and is being replaced with a huge appetite, which is making me even more paranoid about weight gain. I think the good thing about this is that as several of you suggested is going to be able to help me make healthier choices (more fruits and veggies and less carbs and comfort foods). Hopefully with less nausea I'll be able to also gradually ramp up my workouts just to be more active.

Clearly the health / growth of my baby is more important to me than how I look so I won't be doing anything too strenuous. However, its pretty important to me to keep weight gain to the recommended 25 - 35 pounds and keep active since everything I've read and heard from my dr is gaining too much weight is not good for the baby's health or your health and being active is good for the baby and helps make delivery easier.

Good advice as well on learning more about what's happening and driving some of the changes to your body. I will definitely try to do that.

kellbell1982 · September 2014

I sound like a broken record but it breaks my heart to hear fellow bumpies put themselves down over pregnancy weight gain. It's necessary and healthy to gain weight and we all gain differently and that's ok and normal too. I gained nearly 80 lbs with my daughter and I waited until she was six months old to do anything about it because I was so preoccupied with my ppd and bonding. Once I wanted to get healthy(I won't say lose weight because weight loss to me is a side effect of healthy living not vice versa) anyway I joined a family friendly YMCA that had a little daycare and within the next six months my body was better than even before pregnancy and just in time for my exhusband to return from deployment. He walked right past me and dd because we looked so different. I remember crying at old navy right after I had dd because the largest size jeans they sold barely fit (I have a history of eating disorders and was used to a much smaller size) well an older woman pulled me aside and gently schooled me on the fact that even though it was hard to believe at the time, my body would return to normal but that it'd be a little different (ex wider hips). I've never felt so sexy and womanly as I did after those six months of being healthy and I can't wait to do it again. Enjoy this time

massiejs09 · September 2014

Before getting pregnant I had natural DD boobs, which I was fine with, but now they're up to DDD and honestly, when I look at them I think, 'yuk/ugh.' They're SO big that they seem clownish to me and I know that they're going to get bigger still. At the end of the day there is nothing I can do about it and this is happening because when its all said and done, I'm going to have a beautiful baby. So I just wrap them up in a good bra and go about my business.

I think its going to feel/look a little weird any time your body goes through a major physical change, especially because we're women and well ... enough said. I wasn't sure how 'looking pregnant' would affect me psychologically, but its been a lot better than I expected in spite of the boobs.

mudbug84 · September 2014

I am going through the same feelings. I attribute some of it to the fact that working out sends those lovely chemicals, serotonin and dopamine to your brain, keeping your mind happy and healthy. I feel guilty when I don't work out or when I'm throwing up from morning sickness. I want to do everything that's healthy for the baby, but not eating the way I used to and not getting much exercise is resulting in some pretty serious depression... and that's not healthy for the baby either. I try not to look to hard at myself in the mirror right now. Instead of being critical of my body's temporary state, I try to remind myself that everyone's different and I'll be fine... Plus, I'm making a baby! Yay!

rita213 · September 2014

I can understand, I had weight loss surgery 2 1/2 years ago and am still down 135 pounds from before surgery. I have 2 boys already, and this is my first pregnancy since losing weight and I hate when I see the scale go up, I have gained about 6-7 pounds already and to know that my doctor expects me, because I was normal weight pre-pregnancy to gain 20-25 pounds it completely scares me and makes me nervous, considering with my first I gained 65 pounds and with the second I gained 15 pounds after losing 15 because of hyperemesis. I am just trying to remember that it's baby weight and try not to worry to much, just that I will have to get it off after she comes, because we want to try for number 4.

ruemorgan · September 2014

kellbell1982 said:
I sound like a broken record but it breaks my heart to hear fellow bumpies put themselves down over pregnancy weight gain. It's necessary and healthy to gain weight and we all gain differently and that's ok and normal too. I gained nearly 80 lbs with my daughter and I waited until she was six months old to do anything about it because I was so preoccupied with my ppd and bonding. Once I wanted to get healthy(I won't say lose weight because weight loss to me is a side effect of healthy living not vice versa) anyway I joined a family friendly YMCA that had a little daycare and within the next six months my body was better than even before pregnancy and just in time for my exhusband to return from deployment. He walked right past me and dd because we looked so different. I remember crying at old navy right after I had dd because the largest size jeans they sold barely fit (I have a history of eating disorders and was used to a much smaller size) well an older woman pulled me aside and gently schooled me on the fact that even though it was hard to believe at the time, my body would return to normal but that it'd be a little different (ex wider hips). I've never felt so sexy and womanly as I did after those six months of being healthy and I can't wait to do it again. Enjoy this time

I just want to give you creepy internet hugs. Im so glad you could work through that and become healthy.

sunset30 · September 2014

Thanks everyone. Its helpful to know others have the same feelings and struggles. Lots of good tips here, I really appreciate everyone's perspectives and suggestions!

sunset30 · September 2014

Shanniegal said:

I completely understand how you feel. I have struggled with an eating disorder in the past and feeling my body change has been really difficult for me. I don't weigh myself because I tend to obsess over the number, but my doctor is aware of my history and is monitoring my weight to make sure that it stays in an ok range.

Something that helped me a lot was buying maternity clothes. It was depressing that I didn't fit in my normal clothes. Having clothes that actually fit make me feel so much better, and knowing that they are maternity clothes and not "fat" clothes remind me of the reason that my body is changing.

I think this is a good idea - I just got my first pair of pants this weekend and I hope that helps. Having all my pants feel tight like I ate a way too large meal makes it discouraging to get dressed and is a constant an all day reminder I'm getting bigger.

I never struggled with an eating disorder, so I can only imagine how challenging body changes would be for women like you @kellbell82 and after going through that difficult battle.

ninamyspace · September 2014

i know exactly how you feel. i went up and down 40+ pounds for YEARS.. eventually I finally maintained for 2 years. Now being pregnant, I already gained 10 pounds. I am with you. I think it will get better.

salmphil · September 2014

@sunset30‌ Get out of my head. You're describing my feelings to an absolute T. Especially the part about not wanting to complain because obviously baby health is priority #1. But it's weird to not be my athletic self. Love the supportive encouragement here, it's inspiring.

jhefley · September 2014

I am normally a very healthy eater, I run marathons and I do beachbody work outs and try to stay fit...but during this time I am keeping up with my running or walking and yoga, but if I gain weight, you can always lose it if you gain more than you want.

Enjoy the time and do not worry or stress about it. Women yoyo so much during their lifetime because of things. Once you get back to it when LO is born, you will be fine and wonder why you worried so much.

sdion27 · September 2014

Sorry to burst your bubble but your body will never be the same again! I'm not saying you won't be able to tone up and slim down but your hips might be wider and clothes will definitely fit differently. Hopefully once your baby is here you'll realize it's all worth it but for now I'd try and focus on what a healthy pregnant body is supposed to look like

Also, I know the recommended weight gain is 25-35 but don't focus on the number. I was so focused the first time around at only gaining 30 and gained so much water weight the last couple of weeks (like 7-8lbs in 2 weeks!) I ended up gaining closer to 40lbs and it was no big deal!

SBmomma · September 2014

I know my body will certainly be different after giving birth to these twins. But I was just sitting here reminiscing about my first pregnancy. I gained a total of 45 pounds, and by 6 months post birth of my son I had lost all the weight plus 10 more pounds. I did Zumba classes twice a week and went on long walks. I also exclusively pumped. By 1 year post birth I was having boudoir photos taken. I was so proud & my body was rockin! So don't worry too much about things! The female body is amazing!

LauraMS83 · September 2014

So glad I found your post:) feeling very similar:s hard to get your head round isn't it! I too ate v healthily pre-pregnancy, ran and pumped weights and had hoped to keep fairly active. Then the exhaustion and nausea hit and too long passed for me to pick it up again. Have been trying to swim but really can't fit in my costume anymore and need a maternity one. For me it's not the weight gain I'm worried about - I'm quite looking forward to the challenge of getting back into shape weirdly- just finding it hard to get my head around my body changing. Worst bit I find is the guilt that comes from thinking i shouldn't feel this way? I guess the real trick is somehow letting go of our preconceived notions of how this is supposed to feel? Struggling too tho xxx

bdazzld · September 2014

IMO maybe try less strenuous? Prenatal pilates and yoga might be something you enjoy a lot and can tackle with your current energy levels? Otherwise PP's have covered it all. Try to forgive your body for the changes it's undergoing and focus on the life that you're sustaining and housing within you.

nategrace2 · September 2014

Shanniegal said:
I completely understand how you feel. I have struggled with an eating disorder in the past and feeling my body change has been really difficult for me. I don't weigh myself because I tend to obsess over the number, but my doctor is aware of my history and is monitoring my weight to make sure that it stays in an ok range.

Something that helped me a lot was buying maternity clothes. It was depressing that I didn't fit in my normal clothes. Having clothes that actually fit make me feel so much better, and knowing that they are maternity clothes and not "fat" clothes remind me of the reason that my body is changing.

Great answer. Thank you!

SaltandVinegar · September 2014

I think these are all great answers. I am in the same boat too. I think I am mostly struggling because I don't have a true bump yet and my pants are really only fitting tighter in the thighs and butt as opposed to the waist. Once I get a true bump and can feel the baby moving I think I will feel a little more "pregnant" and a little less "big". DH has also been incredibly sweet so that helps too. For me, even a walk or some sort of exercise in the morning helps all day long. Just find what works for you and your body.

and just like @jhefley said - "Once you get back to it when LO is born, you will be fine and wonder why you worried so much." It may seem like forever but 9 months will fly by (so enjoy the excuse to eat a Beef & cheddar guilt free.) I think I may do this today actually

pregarella · September 2014

You are growing a human. Remind yourself of this now, and often, it will help. Give yourself at least 9 months pp to get rid of the excess weight, 9 months up, 9 months down. You will lose the weight eventually (mine mostly all came off just from breastfeeding), but honestly once you have your kid, your priorities will change anyways. And if you really do excessively have body issues, especially if you are having a girl, I'd highly suggest getting them in check before you give birth. I have a friend who did the same things you did about stressing every day about her weight pre pregnancy and during pregnancy. She now has passed it on to her 4 month daughter and comments daily about how she is concerned because of her baby's "chub."

Ardmhs83 · September 2014

I'm the same exact way when it comes to healthy eating and nutrition. I had a harder time with my first pregnancy than this one b/c I know what to expect and know that since I'm so hard on myself with fitness/nutrition and I will get rid of all of it afterwards. You will be fine! I gained 40lbs with my son and lost all of it by 1 month postpartum. I kept in shape while pregnant and nursing helped me out a lot. Just know that you're gaining weight b/c you are suppose to, your child needs you to. Worry about getting rid of it afterwards. As long as you are eating healthy most of the time and exercising, you'll be fine and won't gain "too much."

Just know it is normal to have some weight worry, but if it keeps you from eating and what-not, please talk to someone about it.

Edited: I typed a sentence twice...

ttc11786 · September 2014

I also struggled with this my first pregnancy and I didn't realize that there were things I could be doing to stay healthy! I did do intense kickboxing classes my entire pregnancy but also ate whatever I wanted and was so swollen that I gained 60 lbs!!! I was devastated!
This pregnancy, I'm watching what I eat but still getting enough nutrients and calories for baby while keeping up my intense exercise! So far ive lost 6 lbs from the nausea and exhaustion and my dr said a healthy goal would be to gain 10-15 lbs no need to go overboard when pregnant!
Knowing this info has really helped me feel good and confident

kdejana · September 2014

Feel the same way, it's tough. Hardly worldwide out for two months, so hard to get back in the habit and to not be so hard on myself.
I just keep telling myself the end goal is worth it

kdejana · September 2014

Oh my typo. I hardly worked out for two months, brutal

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