Dissed by a non-vaccinater (slight vent)

tbiscuit18 · September 2014

I'm not trying to start anything, but we are pro-vaccinations. Today DS had his 4 month shots and he's reacting the same as he did with his 2 month shots, totally passed out for an awesome afternoon nap. DH went to a chiro appt shortly after our pedi appt. at which he mentioned DS getting his shots. He came home with a note paper with a couple different books she suggested we read. He then started questioning why we had chosen to vaccinate, "because she (the chiro) brought up a lot of good points. And she's right, it's terrible to watch our baby cry." I reminded him that vaccines were created to protect us, since the end result of these diseases was most commonly death. I also reminded him that because of those who chose to not vaccinate their is a resurgence of whooping cough, etc. and thankfully, our child will have received the vaccine to protect him. DH finally agreed with me, but he now wants to read the Dr. Sears book about vaccines because he's "curious of opposing viewpoints."

I am so frustrated that someone would feel that it's their place to insert themselves in to another family's decision. I told him he can't go back to that clinic and she was out of line. She should have kept her opinions to herself and allowed us to make our own decisions on what we think is best for our family.

(edited for grammar)

usernewname · September 2014

Some people.

Someone had the balls to ask me in an elevator if my son had his shots (after she asked his age). I'm not quick enough to snap back so I smiled and said "oh yea"

I'm pro vaccination all the way. But leave me alone about it and I will leave you alone about it even if I disagree with your choice I will move on.

spacepotatoes · September 2014

This is one of the reasons I am not a fan of chiropractors and wish they were not called doctors. They have absolutely no business spreading this kind of misinformation. My BFF's husband is a chiro and does the same thing. Really offputting. He also believes that diet and exercise can prevent/cure everything. It infuriates me.

spacepotatoes · September 2014

draculaspointer said:

Id be pissed too. Not sure Id go this far but if you feel its appropriate, maybe report her? She's not a pedi and really (in my opinion) shouldnt be giving that advice. Some people may just blindly agree since "its a doctor".

But who would you report to? A lot of chiropractors do this. There is an entire branch, Maximized Living, where this is what they're all about. My BFF's hubby is a "Maximized Living Doctor."

tbiscuit18 · September 2014

spacepotatoes said:

This is one of the reasons I am not a fan of chiropractors and wish they were not called doctors. They have absolutely no business spreading this kind of misinformation. My BFF's husband is a chiro and does the same thing. Really offputting. He also believes that diet and exercise can prevent/cure everything. It infuriates me.

This. My parent's best friends are chiros, but they don't follow the "chiro norm" so to speak. They vaccinated and don't push.

But seriously, the healthiest people can tip over from a heart attack. It's called "genes".

mamagerman · September 2014

Though our chiro didn't say anything about us vaccinating our child, I could tell by the look on her face when she asked if we vaccinated that she didn't agree with it. Sorry not sorry, I'm going to protect my baby!

KBowen715 · September 2014

Hi,
Devil's Advocate here.

Totally not arguing pro or con vax. We are a half pro half com family- we vax for all illnesses that could potentially be fatal (not looking for arguments on what is or isn't) and don't vax for things that are unnecessary in our (educated) opini

KBowen715 · September 2014

Arg-
Opinion. That being said, I constantly feel bullied into vax that we don't won't by child care providers, friends, etc. Our pedi oversees our alternate vax schedule an advises us on which he deems necessary and which are more optional.

That being said- why does everyone have to bully people to be this way or that? Do what you feel in your heart is best. And educate yourself. Sorry the chiro was a jerk. It isn't his/her job to push their agenda on you unless asked. Perhaps seeing the opposing view will just solidify what you already feel is best.

tbiscuit18 · September 2014

My husband is a sucker, but you have a valid point @usernameedit it does depend on the context of how the conversation evolved in the first place. My guess is he made a comment that he had a hard time watching DS get his shots and the conversation went from there. But anyone who has ever met MH knows that he can be sold. If you want to push a new product or idea at someone who will buy it, call him. He's an easy read like that and she knows that I am the opposite. So I guess I'm more irritated with the idea that we had made the decision to vaccinate together, and now we have someone who put doubt in MH's head.

letal316 · September 2014

I agree with @KBowen715‌. It never hurts to educate yourself with all the information. I'm pro vaccines (although personally have not had the flu shot in years) but I am also pro knowledge and understanding all points of view, whether opposite to mine or not.

dogsombrero · September 2014

We vax- heard immunity and whatnot, plus DH has an uncle had polio as a child and saw first hand what it looks like. Not her to sell/force vax down anyone's throat.

I don't think it was professional for the chiro to give an opinion on a patient they don't see. That specifically how I would frame this situation. With that said everybody and their brother gives unwarranted/wanted advice when you have kids.

flockofmoosen3 · September 2014

I agree that's frustrating. Hopefully your husband comes back around without too much trouble on your part.

My BFF is a chiropractor and is anti-vaccine too. I avoid the topic with her when we talk.

bazingaa · September 2014

I would write a nice little note to the chiro, "Our child, our choice. Period."

spacepotatoes · September 2014

@usernameedit‌ has a great point about the context/delivery. There's no point reporting what was said because it is a chiro belief but you can report the manner in which it was said, if it was pushy.

To your DH having difficulty watching LO cry, I totally sympathize with that. But how much worse would it be watching him contract whooping cough or measles instead? That would be my response to him.

yogasailmomma · September 2014

I hate that people feel they can just ask you this question, it shouldn't be/isn't anyone else's business! It's a personal choice and doesn't need to be discussed.

I had some woman who claimed to be a nurse ask me if I vaccinated my baby while we were at the farmers makers. I said yes, of course we do and she replied "well you know vaccines can kill babies". Thanks nut job! Why anyone would say that to a new mom or any mom for that matter just blows my mind.

Sorry you had to deal with that and I hope your husband reads what he wants and then stands by your decision to vaccinate.

usernewname · September 2014

ljbreck said:
We vax- heard immunity and whatnot, plus DH has an uncle had polio as a child and saw first hand what it looks like. Not her to sell/force vax down anyone's throat.

I don't think it was professional for the chiro to give an opinion on a patient they don't see. That specifically how I would frame this situation. With that said everybody and their brother gives unwarranted/wanted advice when you have kids.

My grandfather had polio and I seen him struggle with physical disabilities for the rest of his life. So my decision was made.

ns1 · September 2014

I agree with PPs it was not the chiro's place. But...I do want to say I am impressed your husband intends to read a parenting book. My DH just listens to his grandma's old wives tales, tells me, and then generally accepts what I tell him (which is a combination of well researched information and posts from here that I spin into fact depending on the topic).

Katzalia · September 2014

We're pro-vax based on the science. I get mad when people give unsolicited advice/scare tactics.

That said, maybe I'm wrong but it sounds like you're at least as frustrated with your DH for being so gullible. Does he have any awareness of his pattern of being so easily swayed?

MH is a little like this, but far less so than he used to be. I've talked to him about it and made a point of showing him evidence to review to put things in perspective again. So frustrating though!

delatl · September 2014

I don't think "personal choice" should apply to vaccines. It's a public issue. Someone's "choice" not to vaccinate endangers hundreds of people.

momthatlifts · September 2014

Wow! Thank god my husband is really good about blowing that kind of stuff off and don't let people influence his opinions. (Sometimes that can bite me in the ass) But she should know better than to push her opinions like that onto anyone. That can be a touchy subject for a lot of people. I would be pissed if I went to get my back adjusted and got a lecture on vaccinating

usernewname · September 2014

Kimbus22 said:

Scotty138 said:

I am pro-vaccine. However, I don't think this woman meant to "dis" you by offering literature to your DH. It really doesn't affect your ability to make an educated decision about your child. I realize this post was probably written in the heat of the moment, but i think it may be an overreaction. I think you should be proud of the decision you have made for your LO without worrying about her opinion.

I don't think it's an overreaction when pseudo-doctors are giving unsolicited anti-vaccine propaganda to patients. I think it's disgusting and inappropriate.

Agreed. Now I wouldn't be the type to speak up as I would just listen - but her opinions should have been kept to herself. I could even overlook the verbal opinion, just to let them say their peace. But to hand over literature to read ... thats a little much.

Luckily DH would toss it and forget it and probably forget to tell me. I would be more one to have a seed planted in my ear.

dp1320 · September 2014

spacepotatoes said:

@usernameedit‌ has a great point about the context/delivery. There's no point reporting what was said because it is a chiro belief but you can report the manner in which it was said, if it was pushy.

To your DH having difficulty watching LO cry, I totally sympathize with that. But how much worse would it be watching him contract whooping cough or measles instead? That would be my response to him.

That's exactly what I think of everytime we go for shots. A short amount of pain for a lot of gain. I would be pissed at that chiro too - not her place in the slightest.

haylo33 · September 2014

I don't think this is a pro vaccine or anti vaccine issue. I don't think it is the chiro's place to give any advice on a personal decision. I wouldn't want a dermatologist (first doc that came to mind) giving me advice on an infant. Just because they are a "doctor" doesn't mean they know everything.

spinsoffresonance · September 2014

I really hate that vaccinating is a "personal decision." It really shouldn't be, and in many countries it isn't. By not vaccinating you're not only putting your own child at risk for horrible diseases, but also all the babies who are too young to be vaccinated and all the kids who cannot be for medical reasons..

tbiscuit18 · September 2014

Scotty138 said:

I am pro-vaccine. However, I don't think this woman meant to "dis" you by offering literature to your DH. It really doesn't affect your ability to make an educated decision about your child. I realize this post was probably written in the heat of the moment, but i think it may be an overreaction. I think you should be proud of the decision you have made for your LO without worrying about her opinion.

You're right, I was "hot" when I posted this. But she had no place suggesting literature when it was obvious we had already made our decision. It's one thing to share that you choose not to vaccinate, but don't push that on others. If she had simply said, "we don't vaccinate, but it's cool that you do." I wouldn't have had an issue.

When you push your opinions or ideas on someone else when you are aware of it's controversial nature, it really comes across as looking for someone else or some form of alliance to support you in your cause. Because maybe, just maybe deep down you're having some doubts about your own decision.

IBackBevo · September 2014

Wtf kind of chiropractors do yall go to? Mine adjusts my back and gives me advice on shit he knows about like, oh, back pain. Then he goes outside to smoke his cigarettes.

Dissed by a non-vaccinater (slight vent)

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