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January 2013 Moms
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Gift question - Christmas - WWYD

this decaf lifethis decaf life member
in January 2013 Moms
WWYD?

The deadline for mailing things and getting them to post before Christmas is November 6! All our gifts have to be in the mail coming from/heading to the States by then to guarantee delivery by Christmas. Now knowing that I sent a message to my parents last night letting them know.

My mom mentioned she was thinking about sending DD a "disney princess dress up trunk."

I replied "no."

Now that probably won't stop her so what should my next move be?
  • Talk to my dad
  • Send her links to costumes I'd like for DD
  • Suck it up and be okay if she sends a trunk
We really don't have that much space for a "trunk" so if she's going to send anything like that I'd want it to be wood so at least it can blend in when shut but I'm assuming this thing is some combination of pink & purple. I'm totally okay with DD getting one or two ridiculous dress up dresses but I also then want her to get an assortment of play stuff; doctor, fireman, baker... doesn't really matter what the combination is but I'd just rather DD have options than push her to like the Disney princesses.

I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad, the trunk is probably smaller than I'm imagining and DD would probably like it just fine but I'm cringing a little. I sound ungrateful but we've been avoiding a lot of the overly genderized toys for DD so this just isn't quite in my comfort level.
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Re: Gift question - Christmas - WWYD

  • OhBaby+2013OhBaby+2013 member
    I say talk to your dad if you feel very strongly about it. Otherwise, I kinda go with suck it up. If your mom buys her a trunk and some dresses tell others you want the other costumes or if you want you can get them to add to the selection. As much as its annoying when people don't listen it's hard to be upset if they don't. I try to provide a list of a few things for DS and if they get one from the list and one not I'm ok with that. Just let your mom/dad know that you don't necessarily have space for a trunk and point out that anything they send eventually has to move with you when you guys relocate next. Good luck, definitely not an ideal situation to be in.
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  • DCKateDCKate member
    @this decaf life‌ I totally hear you. For every 'girly' toy someone has given DD, she also has Legos and trucks and other things to play with. Nothing drives me more crazy than getting Christmas catalogs in the mail, where my daughter'sonly options for toys include vacuum cleaners and baby dolls.

    That said, I was the queen of Barbie dolls growing up and I'm the biggest feminist around.

    Let your mom buy her the trunk. You'll raise her to know that it's fine to play with Barbie while wearing your tool belt!
    Our little Samosa arrives in January!
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  • ambmamaambmama member
    I don't know your relationship, but if it were me I would say something and just explain the space issue. I think it's very reasonable to tell someone you don't have space for a trunk. Even if you have ulterior motives with the gender stereotypes, you can blame it on the space. If just offer some alternate suggestions and maybe throw in that DD saw this or that in a catalog and was so excited. Good luck - let us know what happens!

    BFP #1: 05/2012 DS born 12/30/12

    BFP #2: 02/2014 Natural M/C 03/2014 @ 7 weeks

    BFP #3: 06/2014 EDD: 02/17/2015 M/C @ 7w2d, D&E 7/15/14


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  • this decaf lifethis decaf life member
    kittynap said:
    I'd probably just go with it. It seems like it's the job of grandparents to buy pretty much whatever they want without much regard for practicality or parent's best intentions. If you steer away from overly genderized stuff at least your DD will have a nice array of toys...damn if she won't love those little princess dresses too...so sparkly. It's not like you have to take her to Disney World and buy all the movies. Cringe on the inside for a while and then donate it when you move or DD outgrows it. Edit spelling
    Lol we actually have taken her to Disney... twice already! I sent my mom the actual link to DD's wish list, I included this as the girly item and all she said back was it's missing princess dresses!

    I'm not going to bring it up again. If we get the trunk I'm sure DD & her friends will have fun playing with it so whatever! I hope she sticks to maybe one princess dress and something else off DD's list though!
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  • bennikkibennikki member
    If you end up with the trunk, contact paper or even wall paper goes a long way.  Also, chalk board paint could cover it, and then it's not just a trunk but also something LO can play with.

    I'm with you on not wanting something that would clash with the rest of the furniture.  Last year, MIL got all the grand kids bean bag chairs.  DS's twin cousins were obsessed with the movie Cars, so they got character ones.  MIL asked if I'd want the same for DS, and I told her I'd rather he have something in a solid color that he'll be interested in for years.  She found an awesome one that actually matches our family room furniture.

    The other issue issue I have with character toys is they are usually of poor quality (hey, they need them to fall apart, so you can go out and buy the next "big thing"), so I'd slip some alternative suggestions for trunks if that's what mom is dead set on getting.  
    Me: unexplained infertility - annovulatory DH: testicular cancer survivor!! TTC since June 2009 BFP May 11, 2012 EDD January 24, 2013 June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! June 22, 2012 - heard the heartbeat 9w1d 181 BPM!! 24 hours of labor, 4 1/2 hours of pushing, and IT'S A BOY! Welcome to the world my miracle, we prayed and prayed for you, and we can't believe you're here!
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  • this decaf lifethis decaf life member
    Chalk board paint is brilliant!
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