Going crazy please help

honeydew01 · September 2014

So my toddler 18 months is not laying back down in her crib. The second we lay her down and step away she stands back up and cries. Last night she cried for 20 minutes at 12:30 after I changed her, made sure she is not sick, nursed, rocked her and put her in the crib, the second I left she started screaming and then stood there from 1am to 7 am. My husband and I tried to go in at increasing intervals and lay her back down, pat her back and stay with her but the second we step away she'd get back up. I don't know what to do. I got 1.5 total hours of sleep last night and she is so overtired with 5 hours of sleep at night. She lays her head on the top of the railing and snoozes off but her legs get tired and she startles herself and then keeps on holding to the rail and standing up. I tried practicing with her this morning, how we go from standing to laying down to go down. When she woke up from her nap (2 hours) and after we were up, I tried to teach her how she should lay back down in her crib when it's bed time but she screams and cries really hard.

Maybe it's a separation anxiety at its worse, I don't know. She does not sleep when I bring her to our bed, she thinks it's party time, I tried shooshing or pretending I am sleep and just laying her down and petting her back, she won't sleep (tried when she was sick) or when I lay on the floor with her (again tried when she was sick previously). She is content if I sit on the rocking chair and hold her in the nursing position but I can't do all night long either. I'm exhausted and in tears. I know kids go through crazy sleep phases, this is so new to me. she is so strong willed that I am afraid she'll just stand the whole 12 hours tonight. If she could stand for 7 hours, she could probably do 12 hours.

Sorry if this is incoherent, just exhausted here.

aliandchris · September 2014

Uggg! That sounds so tough! My 16 month old gave us a run for our money when we Ferberized her (my almost 3 year old was so much easier to sleep train) but neither fell asleep on the railing. Do you have a padded cover on it? If so,bid remove that to make it less comfy. Does she have a pillow in her bed? That helped our daughter tremendously! The only advice I can give on the Ferber check ins is stay strong and never take her out to comfort her. With my daughter, once she realized (night 6) that we were there to check in but not to rock her, she got the message. It's awful as you're going through it...my son was completely trained in 3 days but she was much more strong willed. I remember the feeling of being so tired you want to cry. Grab a glass of wine, people.com, and do your 11 minute check ins! Good luck, mama!

aliandchris · September 2014

Also, I know it's hard but don't stay on the room at check ins. Go in and say "it's time for bed. I love you. Goodnight."' Lay her back down and leave. The less interaction, the better. Obvi do what you're comfortable with but this has shown to be the most effective route with both kids!

honeydew01 · September 2014

thanks alia. The individual slats have padding but the top of the crib, where she was laying her head while standing is wood so it's not comfortable at all to sleep on. I just put her down for the night, very nervous for tonight.

honeydew01 · September 2014

I keep interaction to minimum while laying her back down, the first time I said "shhh it's night night time, I love you and will see you in the morning" the other checks ins I'd just lay her down, pet her tummy and go "shhh". I never turned the light back on either.

aliandchris · September 2014

I'm sure you're doing everything you can and the lack of sleep makes us all crazy! Hopefully she will get the message that while you're there to comfort her, she's not getting what she wants (ie being rocked to sleep). It's so challenging because my daughter LOVES sleeping in our bed and will pass out immediately there. But this has enabled the behavior so we decided 2 weeks ago to get her back in her crib full time. She's notorious for waking at 10-11 screaming and wanting to be picked up. And out of sheer exhaustion, I'd bring her in bed. But since your daughter parties there (my son did), at least that eliminates this strategy...but I know the sleep aspect seems more appealing! I've never heard of a kid going beyond 10 days of Ferber so while it's brutal know, consistency is key. Hope she sleeps 12 straight

honeydew01 · September 2014

thanks so much alia. I was at my worst today, so short tempered and tired and easily annoyed and even questioned motherhood. This is so unlike her, she is the kind of kid who wakes up and just lays there content for a long time, so I don't know what's this about. She is however, the most stubborn kid in the block so she may be standing for days to come. I'm taking her to the doctor tomorrow if it happens again tonight.

ashiscute · September 2014

18 month sleep regression is pretty common. DD went through it when I was like 33 weeks pregnant and it freaked me out. But she was back to normal within 2 weeks. We took her to our bed to sleep for a couple nights and then she went back to her crib with bedtime taking longer.

Will she sleep with you on a spare bed or the couch? If you bring her to your bed and then keep your back to her will she eventually lay down? I don't think you need to take her to the doctor unless you think she could be ill.

honeydew01 · September 2014

Thank you guys for the reassurance that it's in fact normal and another phase. I'm pretty sure it's separation anxiety, she is fine when I am in the room holding her hand, she freaks out when I leave and wants me back.

Is it normal to keep standing for 7 hours though? I thought after an hour or so she'd get tired and lay back down, but she is one stubborn little girl.

honeydew01 · September 2014

Dr checked her, there is nothing wrong physically. She also thinks it's separation anxiety.

ClaryPax, she was not crying for 7 hours. She cried for about 20 minutes after the first time I put her down (after changing, nursing, rocking) at 12:30 am. I went in again at 12:45ish and laid her back down and patted her tummy but she's stand right back up..my husband and I did it many times, she's just stand back up, no crying.

No I did think to give her pain med. Definitely will if it repeats. She was out for the night at 7:30 so I don't think her bedtime is late.

We practiced lots of laying back down on the floor so we'll see.

honeydew01 · September 2014

Pinkie, congratulations!!! If I am right, our babies are the same age (March 3, 2013??) and we've been through some of the same things as I can tell from these posts. I'm so excited for you. A boy or girl this time?

momofmanyinthemitten · September 2014

Just wanted to chime in that the last wonder week happens around 18 mos. Our normally great night sleeper was up ALL night long for a while. It was a very trying time, since I was dealing with an infant also going through a wonder week. No advice as to what to do, but you're not alone.

TexasGirl81 · September 2014

Sippy of water?

keyshahart · September 2014

My LO would stand in her crib and cry almost every time we laid her down for naps. We switched her to a big bed recently and noticed a huge difference. No more crying for fussing. She falls asleep so much better now. Im sure its not and easy transition for most and it could just be a stage, but I think my LO just felt trapped in her crib.

Going crazy please help

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