February 2013 Moms
jenniferraborn
member
Behavior in Older Children/ Any moms with children with ADHD please read
jenniferraborn
member
Moms with older children. What do you do to address their behavior?
The story: We have a 6 year old foster child that came to live with us July 8. He was previously prescribed medication for ADHD but had not been given it. So, when we got him he seemed fine and DFCS approved us not giving him the medication until we spoke with the prescribing physician. By the time we got an appointment he had been in school for a few weeks and was doing ok with some minor talking issues so the teacher / psychiatrist agreed that we could address them without meds. I understand that some kids need medication but I wanted to avoid it if at all possible. We had a few good weeks with all "green faces" (i.e. no incidents) and then the past few weeks have been really bad. Not listening/ talking / playing when he is supposed to be working / getting up from his desk etc. I have tried daily to address his behavior at home but I am at a loss as to what I should do. When he is here he listens and does what he is asked but when he is in a group situation he does not do well.
1. What do you do for discipline or rewards for older children?
2. Anyone with children on ADHD meds, how did you come to that decision? (granted since he is a foster child it is not my decision to make but we do have a lot of influence along with his teacher)
3. Do you discipline differently because they have ADHD? What I mean is we have done a sticker chart for rewards but for consequences my go to's seem counterproductive for a kid who has focus issues. i.e. making him sit still at home even more probably doesnt help during the school days
I am just frustrated and I feel like I am failing him but I really am trying to help him. Any and all advice is appreciated.
The story: We have a 6 year old foster child that came to live with us July 8. He was previously prescribed medication for ADHD but had not been given it. So, when we got him he seemed fine and DFCS approved us not giving him the medication until we spoke with the prescribing physician. By the time we got an appointment he had been in school for a few weeks and was doing ok with some minor talking issues so the teacher / psychiatrist agreed that we could address them without meds. I understand that some kids need medication but I wanted to avoid it if at all possible. We had a few good weeks with all "green faces" (i.e. no incidents) and then the past few weeks have been really bad. Not listening/ talking / playing when he is supposed to be working / getting up from his desk etc. I have tried daily to address his behavior at home but I am at a loss as to what I should do. When he is here he listens and does what he is asked but when he is in a group situation he does not do well.
1. What do you do for discipline or rewards for older children?
2. Anyone with children on ADHD meds, how did you come to that decision? (granted since he is a foster child it is not my decision to make but we do have a lot of influence along with his teacher)
3. Do you discipline differently because they have ADHD? What I mean is we have done a sticker chart for rewards but for consequences my go to's seem counterproductive for a kid who has focus issues. i.e. making him sit still at home even more probably doesnt help during the school days
I am just frustrated and I feel like I am failing him but I really am trying to help him. Any and all advice is appreciated.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Behavior in Older Children/ Any moms with children with ADHD please read
My Feb 13 baby is my only but we have had foster kids 1-8 yrs old in the past(currently a 2 yr old and a 6 yr old). Amazingly enough we have not had behavior issues in any of our older ones so I feel like I am in foreign territory. I think he was "good" for the beginning because 1. new school year and 2. he was still pretty new to us as well and was super trying to please. I just wonder if he is ABLE to self control then does he need the meds? I am willing to do whatever we need to to help him, I just did not want to jump straight to meds. I thought maybe having a more structured environment was helping him at first but I think it might have just been a new environment in general was maybe a little scary or whatnot.
I think at this point I am going to discuss with the teacher / caseworker about where to go from here.
The tricky part is , he does not really misbehave here. BUT at the same time, most of the time here we do not have tasks that require him to focus very long you know?
I guess my advice would be to try all the options before starting medication. I do believe a lot of kids are over medicated, but that doesn't mean some kids don't need them.
Also, I think that just because in a new environment, he was able to do so well at first does not imply he will continue to do so well.
Is his diet free of food dyes? They can really hurt a child with add/ADHD