My uncle update. Warning: it's sad.
PeachsMama
member
Well my mom text me at work yesterday and said it wasn't good news and we'd talk when I picked up Matthew. He has a tumor the size of an orange on his lung. He has 3 possibilities. The doctor thinks theres a small chance he has lymphoma which has a 70% survival rate. The 2nd option is large cell lung cancer and it has a 20% survival rate. 3rd, and the doctor is pretty sure this is what the bioposy will reveal; is small cell lung cancer and it has a 15% survival rate.
My mom is the 16 year olds next guardian and beneficiary of everything for my uncle. He has enough life insurance to pay off his house and I told my mom DH and I would take guardianship and move so that he doesn't have to switch high schools. If that were to happen it would mean us moving to another state and into a town we hate but I don't care because I just want my cousin to have a little bit of consistency when facing all of this.
Am I crazy? Thinking we could go from being new parents to a baby to raising a teenager? I'm only 21! But there are no other people I want raising him. No one else is going to give him the space and time he needs to heal without getting angry and resentful of his attitude. and trust me he has one! I'm terrified for my uncle. for my cousin. and of possibly becoming a parent to a teenager in less than a year..
Thank you all for your support and prayers. I appreciate it all!
Re: My uncle update. Warning: it's sad.
I don't know that I could handle not doing it. I know in my gut that we're the best parents for him if my uncle can't be here for him. We would most definitely stay until he finishes high school and probably until he decides what he wants to do after. He's talking about college now but apparently his grades aren't good enough (I haven't seen them just heard). I don't know if he would ellect to go to a trade school if he can't get into college or just go straight into the work force. Either way when we move from his town we would have a place for him to come with us back to our state if he wanted to.
@Finnaroo and @Sing2phins are wise. This is a new diagnosis, you actually don't even have a diagnosis yet, much less know his prognosis. Slow down, wait for the biopsy results, let your uncle make arrangements for your cousin. He was chosen as his guardian for a reason and it sounds like he's taken great care of him so far, and he'll be responsible for deciding who stays where and when. If you know it's important for your cousin to have stability, rest assured that's at the front of your uncle's mind and he'll do what he can to make sure he is able to stay in the same home and at the same school.
Anecdote alert: My SD battled cancer in 2001 and was given 6 months to live at one point. He's still here and has been cancer free for 11 years.
I'm so sorry.
And no advice, really, except that when DH died I was advised not to make any big choices for a year - obviously that won't work with guardianship, but I think it might be wise to think out all the scenarios before jumping on a decision that may seem best in your initial grief.
And yeah, your a sweetheart and your cousin is lucky to have you in his corner
Well I talked to my mom and told her to keep our offer to herself until he started to make plans as nothing is in writing yet about her being the beneficiary. Well he called her this morning and told her he made an appointment with a lawyer so she relayed our offer and that she doesn't think her and my dad are right to raise him. He wants to make us his guardians. Nothing is deciced specficially yet but he is extremely relieved and said we have taken alot of stuff off his mind by being willing to move for my cousin.
My mom said he wants everything decided now because with my Aunt (cousins mom) she was all there one day and the next she couldn't speak or relay her wishes. Luckily she already had the legal part done and there was no confusion. He doesn't want to wait and risk things being undecided for my cousin.
Thank you all for your support and kindness. I will keep everyone updated on his condition and pray that none of this is neccessary!