Anyone else not enjoying bf? — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Anyone else not enjoying bf?

This sounds so bad but I just don't enjoy breastfeeding. I am a few weeks into it and I know its hard and can get better but I am finding that all I do is clock watch to make sure I feed on time. I am also irritable by mid-day with my 3 yr. old bc I am so exhausted and I dread having to do the next feeding,etc.. I feel like if I wean sooner than later that I am doing something wrong. Believe me, I don't want to pay for formula or even run the risk of LO having gastric issues from formula,etc. but I find myself asking myself daily how much longer I want to do this for. Funny thing is, I am not a lazy person either, but thats how I feel if I stop. I am happy I have done it up to now but almost want to hear, its not for everyone,etc. I know its my choice but like to hear others experiences.
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1b80a2.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

Re: Anyone else not enjoying bf?

  • I totally empathize with you. I don't "love" bf like some moms do. It was really hard for me in the beginning and even now, 5 weeks in, I find it exhausting. I'm sticking it out for now because I still enjoy it, but I don't feel like its the only way to bond with baby. The thing is...if you are stressed out, anxious and dreading every feeding you are not giving your best to your LO. he/she will sense that you aren't happy and who knows what impact that may have. I say relax, give her a bottle of formula here and there and enjoy your new LO as much as possible! That's what I do and while I felt guilty at first, I am so much more relaxed and happy. Hang in there and whatever you decide to do, remember that you are a great mama!
    shackbarth1982
  • I was just poking around because I used to be here all the time, and got sucked into the wedding drama.

    Anyway, I have a 5 and 2 year old. I really really disliked breastfeeding. I did it for 8 weeks with my first- almost exclusively breast milk although I did use bottles occasionally, and some formula when we were out or I was out. . She took everything but it was always hard for me and uncomfortable. With my second, she was in the NICU for first two weeks and had some issues. I pumped religiously because i wasn't with her, and she never took to breastfeeding. I hated every minute of it- pumping really sucks. When she got home, I was trying to watch my 3 year old and get her ready, was pumping, and was bottle feeding- there were many moments all 3 of us were crying because i didnt have enough hands for those 3 things!  Anyway, once she no longer had a chance of infection (she had a skin condition)- which was at 6 weeks, i changed to formula that day.

    I was happier, I felt "freer:- to just enjoy my babies and not feel stressed about what I ate, drank, how much milk i was producing, multi-tasking, etc. I spent more time with my 3 year old too which she really needed. 

    Most people enjoy it after a while- everyone told me it gets way easier at around 3 months.

    But I don't regret not doing it longer at all.

    You have to do what feels right.

    As for lazy, that is ridiculous. It is really hard having a newborn and even harder when you have a 3 year old. Don't do it out of guilt, etc.


    TugboatSheila
  • Loading the player...
  • I did not like it at first - it was hard, stressful, and exhausting. I love it now, almost 14 mos later. It's not for everyone though.
    Natural m/c Oct. 2005

    Dx: balanced translocation and LPD

    TTC since Oct 2011

    BPF 02/19/12, EDD 10/31/12, natural m/c 02/28/12 (4w6d)

    IVF (BCPs starting 10/30/12, ER 11/18/12, 5dt of 1 beautiful, healthy embryo 11/23/12)
    BFP 12/02/12, u/s @ 6w,5d showed 2 HBs! Identical twins!!
    Bed rest from 21w-35w due to short cervix, hospital bed rest from 23w-32w due to PTL
    Our rainbows were born 07/19/13 (36w, 5d)

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    aditigirl[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • I don't enjoy it either and am not sure how long I'll keep with it this time around.  It does get easier, but I never did ever really enjoy it with the first two.  Please don't feel guilty if you decide that formula-feeding is the better option for you.  You have to do what is right for you and your baby, not what other people tell you you "should" do.  All the "formula-shaming" out there makes me crazy.  
    Photoset 15 of 15

    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    TugboatSheilashackbarth1982amandam1982
  • I think it's very normal to not enjoy breastfeeding in the beginning.  It is difficult and can be painful.  I promise it does get easier usually by 8 weeks or so for me.  

    I agree that you don't need to watch the clock.  Keep note of the time sure but pay attention to LO's cues.  Babies are okay if they aren't fed on the dot.  And I definitely understand that its exhausting entertaining an older one.  DD was 19.5 mos when DS was born and at times I felt like I hadn't seen her in hours because DS took up so much time.  I loaded a bunch of new books on my kindle and found that was super helpful.  If I turned on a show for DD I could read something I enjoyed for 20 mins.  I stressed much less.  
    [Deleted User]
  • I'm 12 1/2 weeks in. I can't say I LOVE it but it gets easier as they start to go longer between feedings. I'm back to work and I think I hate pumping more than BF at this point :) It's nice to have DD "need" to be with me at night.

    Do what works for you but it does get a little easier!

    Engaged: 7/19/09 Married: 9/19/10
    BFP: 10/14/13 EDD: 6/16/14 DD Arrived: 6/21/14
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    June '14 Siggy Challenge: Warm Places

    image

  • babymac14 said:
    I totally empathize with you. I don't "love" bf like some moms do. It was really hard for me in the beginning and even now, 5 weeks in, I find it exhausting. I'm sticking it out for now because I still enjoy it, but I don't feel like its the only way to bond with baby. The thing is...if you are stressed out, anxious and dreading every feeding you are not giving your best to your LO. he/she will sense that you aren't happy and who knows what impact that may have. I say relax, give her a bottle of formula here and there and enjoy your new LO as much as possible! That's what I do and while I felt guilty at first, I am so much more relaxed and happy. Hang in there and whatever you decide to do, remember that you are a great mama!
    Thanks for the encouragement. Can I ask, what is it that you enjoy now? Is it the fact that your LO is feeding better and its easier? Do you feel more of a bond? I just noticed a few ladies said they are now enjoying it and I am trying to understand what it is so maybe I too will get there.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1b80a2.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  • @tundrabunny‌
    Totally took the words from my mouth.

    We have our "Irish Twins"

    DD born 8/7/2013

    DS born 7/28/14

    <>

    [Deleted User]
  • edited September 2014
    I hear you. My daughter was already cluster feeding on the second day she was born and the nurses at the hospital encouraged formula because I was so exhausted after having just delivered and I just wasn't producing enough for her. We used Similac advanced supplement in the hospital it's the already mixed formula. We have continued to breastfeed and also provide the Similac supplement- I figure if the hospital used it, it's good for us. 

    I produce enough milk so that we don't have to supplement but supplementing also gives me a much needed break from time to time. When I tried to exclusively breastfeed, I really did feel like, "It's time already?!" But I was just cranky from not having enough sleep and also from seeing my husband get a full night's rest while I was up all night- we did go in on this together, right?

    My husband and I now interchange between breastfeeding, giving her expressed milk from a bottle and using the formula now. It works out really well for us because at night, we take turns feeding her. He can either give her expressed breastmilk from a bottle or the formula and I can sleep for more than two hours. Don't let people pressure you. I am so much happier giving myself breaks throughout the day and giving her formula and I'm sure she is happy too with a more rested mom. :-)

    The good news is that my daughter is not picky. She will breastfeed, drink expressed milk and take formula- hot, cold room temperature and from anyone. I figure the method we are using will also be good for when she starts daycare at 3 months- she can do formula and then breastfeed at home.

    Good luck.  


  • I also did not particularly enjoy breastfeeding at first- it hurt, I hated being tied down, and I felt like no body could help out because even if they gave him a bottle, I would have to pump to make it up.  We also used nipple shields, which were a pain.  Right around 4 months we stopped using the shields, which was awesome.  My supply also regulated- if I miss a pumping session once in a while it doesn't seem to cause a problem.  So I'm really exhausted, I can have DH do a bottle in the middle of the night.  As PPs have mentioned, it's great cuddle time now that LO wants to be on the go whenever he's awake.  And now that I've gotten the hang of NIP, it's really convenient too.  Honestly, things got better once I figured that out, because I don't feel like I have to go hide if we're visiting my in-laws, or if my dad is over. I feel more like part of the group, and most people don't even notice I'm nursing.

  • Sorry I'm just now seeing this. To answer your question it just sort of got easier. The pain went away but more importantly I was feeling better mentally. The first couple weeks pp for me were filled with intense anxiety and I was feeling like a failure when I couldn't seem to satisfy my LO with my breast milk alone. Once I let go of the guilt everything just sort of fell into place. I don't think I'll bf for much longer, but I am glad I held out to the point where I could finally enjoy it.
    shackbarth1982
  • image
    image

    User Banned You have been banned from posting on the forums until 01-11-2165 8:18 AM. The reason for this ban is Inappropriate Links or Signature. Please return to participate in the forums after the ban has elapsed.
  • oh my gosh! Thank you for posting this! I can completely relate. Breastfeeding was not for me! I did not enjoy it at all. I pumped for 5 months and fed my son through a bottle. It was a relief when my husband and I decided to go to formula.  The sad thing is women did make me feel guilty and I just think that is terrible!  I absolutely adore and love my son and I did what I thought was best for all of us.  It made everyone happier and brought down the stress levels in our home :) My son has been and is thriving and I an happy with our decision.  Again, nobody should feel bad for not being able to or deciding not to breastfeed - it definitely does not mean we love our babies any less.
    michelle0405
  • I felt exactly the same at first. With my first daughter (now 2 1/2) BF just didn't work. She couldn't latch and after about a month, I gave up pumping too. It really upset me that I couldn't because of all the pressure that is put on moms to breastfeed. I thought I was such a bad mother and not giving my baby what she needed. So with my (now 2 mth) daughter I was determined to BF. I HATED it at first. It was so painful and it seemed like she was attached to my breast 24/7. I felt even worse for hating it. I thought "what is so magical about this", but something made me stick with it. I think it was the fact that I have a hand free to do other things, as selfish as that sounds. I have gone back to work now, so I only BF in the morning and at night. Her caregiver feeds her formula throughout the day. I only pump at work when I get to hurting so bad I can't stand it, and only then just enough to relieve the pressure. I still am not comfortable BF in public, so when we're out Ior my husband gives her a bottle. My 2 1/2 year old is healthy as a horse and so far my LO is too. So I don't feel bad at all by giving her formula. My milk supply is slowly dwindling and I don't know how much longer I will be able to BF, but I won't feel guilty at all about giving her a formula bottle when it does! Maybe this helps.
    sfurcishackbarth1982
  • I felt like the breastfeeding advocates of America would come arrest me or something! I tried as hard as I could for almost 8 weeks. I wasn't making enough milk and it stressed me out. Things are a lot better now that I exclusively give formula. I called my doctor and he set me straight, thank god! I was a wreck. You have to do what's best for you and your family. I don't think a lot of people know what they're in for it can really stress you out and contribute to depression when it doesn't go well.
  • I also didn't like it at first, but my baby seemed to be enjoying it so much that after a few weeks I was kind of addicted..
  • I totally feel your pain, little one is 8 weeks today and I stopped BF 3 weeks ago but I'm still pumping and feeding her breast milk through a bottle. I stopped because it was getting stressful and I was using a nipple shield in which she would constantly pull it off. I honestly miss her being on the breast but as long as she's eating and getting healthier I'm okay. The husband and I decided that whenever I'm ready to stop pumping I can introduce her to formula. They always tell you the good things about BF but they never tell you the bad experience that some people have
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards