Baby Shower Tradition

LindsMichelle · September 2014

Yeah, we're in the first trimester - but this came up today... so I'm curious...

I know it's TRADITION for someone to throw a shower for you... and it's also TRADITION for no men to be in attendance. Also TRADITION to throw the shower in the last trimester, about a month or two before your due date...

But what if you want to throw your own? What if you have male friends and family you want in attendance? What if you're moving before you hit the third trimester, and want a shower with your family and friends before you move because you'll be too far for them to travel?

Just curious about opinions. Another board returned with 'why would you just throw yourself a party?' and 'has anyone even offered to throw you a shower?' I never really thought of it as 'throwing myself' a party - I feel like any woman who is pregnant deserves a baby shower, especially for her first... and quite frankly TO ME, if you want to handle all the details and throw your own, because you know what you want... go for it!

nursej519 · September 2014

I would agree with PP. Do you happen to have a close girlfriend or sister that you could talk with about this? By bringing it up, they may offer to throw it and you can work with them to plan what you'd like. I see no problem with having guys there or having it before you move, but I would wait as long as you can, definitely out of the first trimester.

LindsMichelle · September 2014

BrittAnnie19 said:
Really OP, really? It sounds like you already know the responses you're going to get so why did you ask.

In a word: tacky.

I asked an array of questions, and not all of them - actually most don't- apply to me. It was a general post asking all the questions that were discussed today. Sorry, but your assumptions that these are all about me, is sourly false.

But thanks for your opinion.

LindsMichelle · September 2014

kyliedaniellexx said:
It's not tradition, it's etiquette. Get some.

Also, this post coming from you doesn't surprise me even a little...

It's a general post. Don't be a bitch, it's not necessary. Fuck off.

Unknown · September 2014

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LindsMichelle · September 2014

nursej519 said:
I would agree with PP. Do you happen to have a close girlfriend or sister that you could talk with about this? By bringing it up, they may offer to throw it and you can work with them to plan what you'd like. I see no problem with having guys there or having it before you move, but I would wait as long as you can, definitely out of the first trimester.

My mother will be throwing my shower. My only part that could apply to me was having one early due to moving - but it would simply be easier to move with stuff if anything than fly back for a shower and have to ship things back to where I've moved to.
I just managed to come up with a list of questions that people would likely have strong opinions about lol.

LindsMichelle · September 2014

Let me clarify. Many people see a 'shower' as less about gifts, and more about a celebration, and gathering to rejoice the GIFT of life a person has been given. It's sad to see that showers are completely associated with gifts and money and people being hungry for both.
So let's assume maybe people want to celebrate their miracle of life they're carrying? And aren't in it for the crap they receive from a list.

Unknown · September 2014

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Unknown · September 2014

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LindsMichelle · September 2014

Bliss+Berry said:

LindsMichelle said:

Let me clarify. Many people see a 'shower' as less about gifts, and more about a celebration, and gathering to rejoice the GIFT of life a person has been given. It's sad to see that showers are completely associated with gifts and money and people being hungry for both.
So let's assume maybe people want to celebrate their miracle of life they're carrying? And aren't in it for the crap they receive from a list.

It's weird to celebrate your pregnant belly or whatever the fuck you want to call it. If you want to celebrate your baby, wait until its born and then have a "Meet the Baby" party.

Showers are about gifts. Think about the name. Shower. Showering the MTB with gifts to care for her baby.

I personally, will be moving 13 hours away - which is why I was debating the early shower idea. No one but maybe my mother will be flying down the east coast to 'meet the baby.' Once I move I won't be coming back for a few years because I won't be flying with a newborn or baby.

Unknown · September 2014

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ordinary1 · September 2014

LindsMichelle said:
Let me clarify. Many people see a 'shower' as less about gifts, and more about a celebration, and gathering to rejoice the GIFT of life a person has been given. It's sad to see that showers are completely associated with gifts and money and people being hungry for both.
So let's assume maybe people want to celebrate their miracle of life they're carrying? And aren't in it for the crap they receive from a list.

Then those people don't understand what a shower is. A shower is to welcome a woman to motherhood. The mother to be is showered with love and gifts. If you want to celebrate the baby, then here is a novel idea, have the baby there.

crunchymamaof2 · September 2014

ordinary1 said:

Let me clarify. Many people see a 'shower' as less about gifts, and more about a celebration, and gathering to rejoice the GIFT of life a person has been given. It's sad to see that showers are completely associated with gifts and money and people being hungry for both. So let's assume maybe people want to celebrate their miracle of life they're carrying? And aren't in it for the crap they receive from a list.
Then those people don't understand what a shower is. A shower is to welcome a woman to motherhood. The mother to be is showered with love and gifts. If you want to celebrate the baby, then here is a novel idea, have the baby there.

But she'll be sooooooo far away! Pouty face.

OP, %giftgrabbiness and %cockiness

And with that, @etoille I love you for providing me with that awesomeness

FemShep · September 2014

LindsMichelle said:

I feel like any woman who is pregnant deserves a baby shower, especially for her first... and quite frankly TO ME, if you want to handle all the details and throw your own, because you know what you want... go for it!

Uh huh. I feel like any woman who is pregnant *deserves* a year of paid maternity leave, a stipend for maternity clothes, subsidized daycare, and free on demand babysitting...but obviously the world doesn't care what I feel about what people "deserve". Hell, I also feel I deserve to be the Queen of England, but clearly William did not agree.

You don't ever throw yourself a gift-giving event. Ever. For any reason. A shower, by its very NAME, is about showering the MTB with gifts.

And presumably, your friends and family are both smart and supportive enough to realize that they can send you gifts whenever they want, with or without a shower, no matter where you live.

Unknown · September 2014

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PrimRoseMama · September 2014

OP just seems like she wants to stir the pot.

It's never ok to throw your own baby shower. You wanted my opinion & you got it. It's tacky, self-serving, rude & presumptuous. The end. [-(

PrimRoseMama · September 2014

LindsMichelle said:
let's assume maybe people want to celebrate their miracle of life they're carrying? And aren't in it for the crap they receive from a list.

By definition a Baby Shower is about gifts. It's to celebrate the mother.

You can celebrate the baby later...

WashingtonQueen · September 2014

LindsMichelle said:

kyliedaniellexx said:
It's not tradition, it's etiquette. Get some.

Also, this post coming from you doesn't surprise me even a little...
It's a general post. Don't be a bitch, it's not necessary. Fuck off.

You're pushing it. Stop.

Amstreagle · September 2014

leela02 · September 2014

LOL since when did "celebrate" mean asking people to give you stuff? OP you're just making excuses to justify throwing a gift grab for yourself. Please enlighten us on why you specifically need a baby shower and not a moving away party if you just want to get together with your loved ones before you move away.

mandi195 · September 2014

Throwing any type of party/event where you will expect to receive gifts is tacky and rude, and a huge no.

kellbell1982 · September 2014

I was serving in the military while pregnant with DD and I did something so crazy you won't believe it!! I TRAVELED to my shower that was thrown by my family and friends not by me! It's been ten years since my daughter was born and I'm now pregnant again with my new husbands baby and guess what? I'm not having another shower because that's tacky as hell so unless it's some surprise thing that I have no control over it's not happening

janda426 · September 2014

Again I repeat, why do people feel the only way they can celebrate the baby is by telling people to come spend money on them?

I know she's being trolly but there are special snowflakes that have her exact mentality for real. I know one who's throwing her own shower.

kcbizme · September 2014

Amstreagle · September 2014

Stop trying to make hosting your own baby shower happen! It's not going to happen!

Unknown · September 2014

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Alygohome · September 2014

I've thrown baby showers. Its expensive and time consuming no way id throw one for myself, not only is it tacky but If I am throwing a party to see my friends/family it sure as hell isn't going to be one for people to bring presents. Only reason I am having a shower is my mom cried when I told her I didn't want one so my aunt called and quilted me saying I am my moms only girl ect ect. The idea of people giving me presents because I decided to make a crotch fruit doesn't sit well with me.

FemShep · September 2014

/Excited wave @MauiBliss‌ !! Congratulations on your BFP, that's fantastic! Let's hijack the troll post and talk about video games. Dragon Age: Inquisition. Can. Not. Wait. Hoping for some great cameos, especially from Alistair, Isabella, and Fenris. (And Zevran of course!) And I'm replaying ME2 because I need to romance Garrus and see if it's better than Thane.

wishiwaspreggo · September 2014

I'm sure this has already been said in some way, but just because you're having a baby does not mean you *deserve* a baby shower. It's nice, yes, but no one owes you anything.

It looks like you've had a hard road (sorry about that) to getting pregnant and I'm sure you're really excited but if no one is offering to throw you a shower I'm afraid you're on your own. There are wonderful items to choose from at places like Once Upon a Child (we have one in town). Browse consignment shops. Babies only use things for a few months at a time before they outgrow/don't need them anymore. Do you have friends who've already had babies? You can ask for hand-me-downs. I have a friend who is having a baby boy 4 months before mine is due and she offered to give us everything he outgrows. I shared the wealth by giving her my cousins hand-me-downs after HER son outgrew his things.

Parents are always willing to share. You'll figure it out. Just please, don't host your own shower. It's extremely gift-grabby. If you're taking the initiative to take care of yourself and your family others will probably step up and offer to help.

CoPilot2012 · September 2014

IMO, "showers" are to bestow gifts to someone starting out. Wedding showers or baby showers.

A party is a party, to celebrate whatever you want, but I wouldn't call it a shower.

I don't throw my own birthday parties, so I wouldn't throw my own shower.

ramaholic · September 2014

::lurker::

@FemShep All of a sudden, I am VERY interested in this thread. *chinhands* Also, the only recurring character I'm aware of coming back to DA3 is Morrigan, so fingers crossed some of the others make an appearance, too!

::lurker out?::

ramaholic · September 2014

@MauiBliss Sten is seriously the most underrated character ever.

bobloblaw87 · September 2014

etoille said:

I am jacks complete lack of surprise that this came from the OP.

:lurking: but I just have to do more than "love it" this awesome fight club reference. Thank you for reminding me about it.

FemShep · September 2014

MauiBliss said:

ramaholic said:

::lurker::

@FemShep All of a sudden, I am VERY interested in this thread. *chinhands* Also, the only recurring character I'm aware of coming back to DA3 is Morrigan, so fingers crossed some of the others make an appearance, too!

::lurker out?::

They'll be back, just you watch. I mean, we know Varric is back. And Zev and Leliana made cameos in the second game. Oh, so did Alistair, depending on your choices in DA:O of course.

Team Sten for Cameo, over here. @ramaholic and @FemShep.

I have heard from friends in the know that there will be cameos beyond Varric, Morrigan, Leliana, Cullen, and Cassandra. I'm curious about how they'll deal with Morrigan's potential Old God baby. And if I don't get a dog in this DA game too, I'll be crushed.

I would love to see a Sten cameo, and I really hope we get to see Morrigan insult Alistair a few more times for old times sake.

Shadow of Mordor is getting really good word of mouth, and might be something to hold me over until DA:I. Have you seen it? And I don't suppose either of you (or anyone else outraged about throwing your own baby shower) are playing Hearthstone?

ETA: I forgot about Leliana and Cullen already being announced as in the game. Sten would have been a better addition.

ramaholic · September 2014

@FemShep‌ Not playing Hearthstone. It's an MMO, right? Is there a cost to play? Also, the husband is definitely getting Shadows of Mordor; sooooo looking forward to it.

FemShep · September 2014

ramaholic said:

@FemShep‌ Not playing Hearthstone. It's an MMO, right? Is there a cost to play? Also, the husband is definitely getting Shadows of Mordor; sooooo looking forward to it.

Hearthstone is an electronic card game (PC and iPad) based on the World of Warcraft IP. You can play for free, and it's pretty similar to Magic the Gathering. Most games take around 10 minutes or so. It's addictive. DH is playing Persona 3 right now, and I'm amusing myself while the consoles/TV are in use by playing Hearthstone and mocking P3.