~September Sapphires Check-In~ (Sept. 24)

MyFirstRaspberry · September 2014

This is an open check-in for those with a loss of a LO and/or EDD in September of any year.

~NEW MEMBERS~ If you are new with a recent loss, welcome and (((hugs))). I’m so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here but I hope you’ll find that this is an amazing place to give & receive love and support. Please introduce yourself and be sure to include your loss/EDD to be added to the list.

~CURRENT MEMBERS~ Happy Wednesday ladies! (((hugs))) to all who need them!

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~RECENT GRADUATES~ If you have gotten your BFP and have graduated, congratulations and have a H&H 9 months! Please PM me the great news as it is sometimes very difficult for me to check PgAL. If you get your BFP after the check-in is posted, then I will add it to next week’s check-in. Graduates will be posted on the first Thursday of the month.

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Members:

anglndsguse44 9/03/2014

zapgurl44 9/04/2014

QuigleyCat1 9/07/2012

megrae12 loss 9/09/13

MyFirstRaspberry 9/09/2013

natsfans84 9/10/2013

oxCherryBlossomxo 9/15/2014

superwife425 9/15/2014

Wintersea 9/16/2014

beckynsean11 9/16/2014

CallaLily30 9/18/2013

ashellypnut 9/23/2013

AllWeHave 9/24/2014

soulbyte 9/27/2014

jenn0021 9/25/2011

Flowerstar1023 9/26/2014

Graceanne927 9/27/2014

MelissaL124 9/27/2014

ashlee113085 9/28/2014

eliida 9/29/2014

LauraO11 9/2014

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If you don’t see your name below, it just means that we missed you last week. No worries, just give us an update.

@CallaLily30 - ((hugs))

@eliida – Looks like your cycle restarted. Since you are back in the US. Will you look for a new OB?

@LauraO11 - Any more beta updates? What else is going on?

@superwife425 - How is your next cycle starting out?

@beckynsean11 – How did your CD3 appt go? Are you starting with clomid?

@ashlee113085 – How are things going? Where in your cycle are you? I hope you are feeling better this week.

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UPDATE: Update us on appointments, cycle days, struggles, successes, non-TTCAL news and everything else in between.
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QOTW: Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day. What is your favorite breakfast food?
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Sept. is here ladies. We will get through this together. If you are having a tough time, feel free to PM me. I am a good listener. Special ((hugs)) to the ladies going through an EDD this week.

Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear.

@soulbyte 9/27/2014

@jenn0021 9/25/2011

@Flowerstar1023 9/26/2014

@Graceanne927 9/27/2014

@MelissaL124 9/27/2014

@ashlee113085 9/28/2014

@eliida 9/29/2014

@LauraO11 9/2014

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CallaLily30 · September 2014

Hi Sapphires! @MyFirstRaspberry thanks for running the check in and I have everything crossed that you will get great news from your IUI very soon!

As for me, I'm back from vacation and back on my gluten free, dairy free diet which sucks. I started Lupron on Sunday and today was my last day of BCPs. Late next week, I start stims for my mid October retreival. For the first time, I feel very tired of the IVF/TTCAL process and I'm looking forward to it being over, even if it means we won't ever have a biological child. I'm coming to terms with the fact that my life isn't going to look quite like I thought it would. I'm going through with this cycle and probably one more retrieval to bank some eggs just to know we gave it everything we could. I think I will be at peace with it if it doens't work out after these last attempts.

QOTW: I love waffles but gluten free ones aren't nearly as tasty.

eliida · September 2014

Hi everyone. ((HUGS)) Thanks for the check-in, @MyFirstRaspberry. I've been thinking of you this week and sending positive vibes. FX!!

@CallaLily30 Welcome back from vacation! I hope you were able to relax and enjoy yourself. It sounds like you're at a challenging point. ((hugs)) I'm glad that you're starting to find peace with everything.

As for me, my cycle started up 3-4 days late and was, let's say, special. Of course the month that I don't have a doctor my body starts acting up. I've put out a couple of feelers for a new OB, but don't want to get too attached to someone until I have my insurance stuff worked out. I had a wonderful doctor before I left the States who passed away last year. I haven't decided yet if I want to go back to the collective she was a part of or try someone completely new.

If you guys will indulge me, I came upon some information this week that I still don't know what to make of. It's a little sensitive, so some of you may want to skip it.

***loss mentioned***

While organizing my medical records (I brought PDFs of everything back home with me) I found lab work that suggested that I may have had a CP in April 2013--that my doctor didn't tell me about. Quick background--We were TTC and I was 8 days late. FRER/HPTs with any amount of sensitivity weren't available where I was living. I went up to the capital for a blood test, but by the time I arrived AF started (and a special one, at that). I had to wait another 4-5 days to get into the lab. When the results came back, my doctor said it was just a fluke and there was 0 HCG in my system. Well, looking at the labs, they state that I was actually at 10 HCG. I'm feeling very mixed up about this. From a cultural perspective, I understand why I wasn't told, but if that was indeed a CP couldn't that have an impact of how we should approach TTC? I don't want to create an issue where one doesn't exist; I really don't know what to make of this info.

eliida · September 2014

QOTW: Breakfast is my favorite, too. It feels nearly impossible to narrow it down to a favorite, but forced to choose, I probably love hash browns the most.

beckynsean11 · September 2014

@Callalily30 That diet sounds no fun at all. FX that the Lupron isn't hard on you. I'm glad that you're making peace with everything. I have everything crossed for you!

@eliida Sorry for the wonky cycle. Good luck finding a OB that you feel comfortable with & that knows what they're doing. Also, I'm so, so sorry that it looks like they may have kept a CP from you. Regardless of culture, I don't think it's ok that they did that. I would definitely bring that up with the OB that you find. They may decide to order a repeat loss panel for you (I can't remember if you've had one) or they may decide to refer you to a RE. Either way, I'm sorry, that's just sucky. Hugs!

@MyFirstRaspberry I still have everything crossed for this IUI!

AFM: My day 3 scan went just fine & I started Clomid Friday night. I went in this morning for my first follie scan. My lining was just a tad thin, but nothing to be concerned about. I have 2 dominant follicles on the left side measuring 17 & 16. I'm waiting on blood work, but I'm expecting to go back for another scan tomorrow & hopefully have my IUI on Saturday. I'm pretty excited that this cycle could work out that way. MH is traveling for work weekly again & really only home on saturday & sunday, so we were expecting him to need to fly home mid-week for IUI. His company is totally fine with that (& with him expensing those costs), but it's definitely easier to not have to deal with that.

QOTW: My favorite breakfast food is country fried steak, with biscuits & gravy; obviously can't eat that too often. Second favorite is pancakes.

MyFirstRaspberry · September 2014

@eliida

Wow! I am surprised your doctor did not mention the c/p. I am so glad you are no longer with that Doctor. The trust factor is broken. I guess OB's think c/p's are so common that they are not worth mentioning. But I know @CallaLily30 has had several c/p's and that definitely made am impact on her treatment.

Because the timing was so long ago, I'd say there is not much you can do now. However, I would definitely bring it up to your next Doctor. And you have the proof now with the lab work.

((hugs)) I am so sorry this is how your are finding out about the c/p.

purplehaze11 · September 2014

Thanks for the check in @MyFirstRaspberry‌ . My betas last Thursday were 94, and AF started on Saturday. Since AF started my OB decided that I didn't need any more beta monitoring, and scheduled my sonohysterogram for next Thursday, Oct 2. They will do a beta before the procedure, so I will have another. I'm on day 6 of AF, and it's been relatively "normal" for me which is refreshing, except that bleeding normally only lasts 5 days. Accupuncture tomorrow afternoon as well. Relieved that the SHG is the last test before we are cleared to TTC again, hopefully next cycle unless something is amiss.

MyFirstRaspberry · September 2014

CallaLily30 said:

Hi Sapphires! @MyFirstRaspberry thanks for running the check in and I have everything crossed that you will get great news from your IUI very soon!

As for me, I'm back from vacation and back on my gluten free, dairy free diet which sucks. I started Lupron on Sunday and today was my last day of BCPs. Late next week, I start stims for my mid October retreival. For the first time, I feel very tired of the IVF/TTCAL process and I'm looking forward to it being over, even if it means we won't ever have a biological child. I'm coming to terms with the fact that my life isn't going to look quite like I thought it would. I'm going through with this cycle and probably one more retrieval to bank some eggs just to know we gave it everything we could. I think I will be at peace with it if it doens't work out after these last attempts.

QOTW: I love waffles but gluten free ones aren't nearly as tasty.

@CallaLily30 Sorry the real world is back so soon for you. I'm sending you some ((hugs)). I know we are in different places treatment wise but I have had similar thoughts about the possibility of not having a biological child. I actually have a book about adoption sitting in my nightstand for when I am ready to read it. Have you had an opportunity to chat with YH on the subject? Are you two on the same page?

It is really, really hard to hold on to some hope and easy to fall into a dark hole. If you ever need to vent or chat, send me a PM. You have been on my mind.

MyFirstRaspberry · September 2014

LauraO11 said:

Thanks for the check in @MyFirstRaspberry‌ . My betas last Thursday were 94, and AF started on Saturday. Since AF started my OB decided that I didn't need any more beta monitoring, and scheduled my sonohysterogram for next Thursday, Oct 2. They will do a beta before the procedure, so I will have another. I'm on day 6 of AF, and it's been relatively "normal" for me which is refreshing, except that bleeding normally only lasts 5 days. Accupuncture tomorrow afternoon as well. Relieved that the SHG is the last test before we are cleared to TTC again, hopefully next cycle unless something is amiss.

@LauraO11

I'm really glad you are able to move forward. I hope the SHG is easy on you and provides the necessary information to help you move on. I have acupuncture tomorrow as well

superwife425 · September 2014

@CallaLilly30: Welcome back from vacation! Isn't it amazing to eat whatever the hell you want when you're on vacation? It's terrible that I think that's my favorite part.

@eliida: I'm sorry that your doctors kept something from you that is THAT HUGE. (Any pregnancy is huge news, I think.) I don't know what you can do about that, but you have every reason to be upset. Hugs, lady!

@myfirstraspberry: FX for you! I'm thinking about you because I know we're on the same protocol and close to the same cycle dates this month!

As for me, I finished by Letrozole this week, and have my CD 12 scan scheduled for tomorrow morning. I'm hoping to have the IUI Tuesday, but I guess that all depends on how everything looks when they scan tomorrow. I'm a little nervous because I've never had an IUI before and I'm not entirely sure what is going to happen with scheduling, etc. I googled the procedure itself, and it seems like no big deal (except it costs WAY more than TI!) So, I guess we'll see.

QOTW: It's a toss up between waffles and hashbrowns...I don't know WHY I love carbs so much when they are so awful for me!

Have a wonderful week, ladies!

MyFirstRaspberry · September 2014

superwife425 said:

As for me, I finished by Letrozole this week, and have my CD 12 scan scheduled for tomorrow morning. I'm hoping to have the IUI Tuesday, but I guess that all depends on how everything looks when they scan tomorrow. I'm a little nervous because I've never had an IUI before and I'm not entirely sure what is going to happen with scheduling, etc. I googled the procedure itself, and it seems like no big deal (except it costs WAY more than TI!) So, I guess we'll see.

QOTW: It's a toss up between waffles and hashbrowns...I don't know WHY I love carbs so much when they are so awful for me!

Have a wonderful week, ladies!

@superwife425

The IUI was really easy. It is a very short process. The most uncomfortable part of it for me was the speculum - which is the same kind used for a pap smear. I had some cramping that wasn't so bad. Also, my RE suggested we DTD that same evening as well. So you will still have an opportunity for some time with YH. GL at your monitoring appt!

eliida · September 2014

@beckynsean11 This all sounds like great news. Plus, it's wonderful that your husband's job is being accommodating. Hope your scan went well today. FX!

@LauraO11 How was accupuncture? I've starting looking into it for myself. I hope all your tests go smoothly.

@superwife425 How did the scan go? Thinking of you.

Thank you all for the support. Sometimes I can feel my grief spiraling and it's too easy for me to pile on to it. I've been upset about the situation, but I wasn't clear if it was for the right reasons. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I feel a lot better after your feedback. The wild part is, is that at the time I remember being so sure I was (and I really felt like I knew when something shifted, too) that when the doctor told me it was nothing it made me feel a bit nuts.

Oh and to answer your question, @beckynsean11, I haven't had a "proper" loss panel per se, but I have have most of the tests included in it as part of my "you've lived in a developing nation for three years so let's make sure you're only bringing home souvenirs" lab work. In addition to my CD3 draw and scan, everything has come back negative normal. However, as @MyFirstRaspberry noted, the trust is blown. Who knows, though. Numbers are numbers, I guess.

ETA: Wrong word.

purplehaze11 · September 2014

@eliida‌ I don't mind the acupuncture! It remains to be seen if it will have any affect (particularly for me as my issues are related to recurrent m/c) but we have a plan in place that seems to make sense to me. I'm thankful I have been charting the last couple of years, as it gave her an idea of what to focus on. She is a naturopath as well, so I'm also taking some supplements.

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