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January 2015 Moms
BriannaCaitlin
member
I'm so sad...
BriannaCaitlin
member
I guess this is just venting. But y'all could read it and maybe understand how I'm feeling and just maybe have ways to help me feel better. Me and T met at Kroger in August of 2011, and started dating in October. He graduated in 2012, and then we moved in together last year when I graduated. I worked full time with my best friend doing a lot of training with horses and loved my job, and he went to work at a factory over an hour away from here. We were easily making it with both of our jobs and still had money to spend whenever we wanted to. Now that I can't work with the horses until after the girls get here, he has went back to work at Kroger part time during the day since he works night shift at the factory. He leaves here at 4:00 every afternoon to be at work at 5:15, and gets home around 5 every morning. Today is his second day back at Kroger, and yesterday he worked from 10-2:30, got off work and came home to eat and change his clothes and he went to the post office with me and that was all the time we had besides his 45 minute lunch break to talk on the phone. Sometimes I even fall asleep before his lunch break. But it wasn't a big deal to fall asleep until now because I had all day with him before. Even if all we did was sleep, I felt so much better just getting to be beside him all day. He had said he worked 10-2 today, and I didn't get any time to talk to him before he left this morning, so he kissed me by and said he would see me in five hours. I said "No, four", to which he said "Oh! I must have forgot to tell you. I thought she had said 10-2, but it's 10-3". I lost it. I was crying so hard I choked. I feel pathetic for crying over this. And it is selfish of me to be upset over him getting a second job. We don't really need for him to worn a second job but he said that he wants to so that he can take some extra time off when the girls get here that he won't get paid for and we will have money saved up. He has such a good head on his shoulders and I'm glad that he does because mine seems to have been misplaced somewhere now that I'm pregnant. I just feel so alone all the time, and now it's even worse. And lately I've felt so needy when it comes to him. Like I always need him beside me. I just feel like I'm being a child about this, and it's a good thing that he's doing for us and our unborn daughters and I am so proud of him for working so hard but I still just can't help but be upset... To top it off, he usually is off every weekend, but now he starts working Saturdays through the fall at the factory and they want him for 8 hours every Sunday at Kroger. I can sit and talk to my horse all day, but that's about as far as I get with talking to anyone. My best friend just got married and moved to Cali. Across the COUNTRY, our schedules are totally opposite, and the only other two friends I have work full time nursing jobs and have boyfriends they're stuck to. I just feel lost 
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Re: I'm so sad...
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On a separate note, I sympathize with you about missing him....adding my pregnancy hormones to the mix doesn't help either lol. On one hand I feel so blessed to have someone I actually do miss when he's gone, but it does mean extra work for the relationship. Just try to find something that keeps you sane and focus on that! (Much easier said than done, I know)
My advice is try to find a local group or expecting women, or women who recently had a baby. Or even find a few members on here who are in need of the same thing, just to have one on ones with some one, or a few people.
My husband has always worked 2 sometimes 3 jobs. At one time I lived in a city about a half hour out of Boston, and his jobs were still in Boston, as well as all my family and friends. My son was 3, had a broken ankle over the summer and H took the car to work everyday. Due to my son's ankle we weren't able to take the T (Subway) much. I never had friends of visitors come, and I became very lonely and depressed. I know exactly how you feel, I always got upset when I found out about a change to H schedule, and would even argue "What's the point of working so much to buy and care for your family, if you can never enjoy your time with them.. We rather time with you, then a new phone or dishwasher, or new toy game ect.".
I became so withdrawn and depressed, and began not eating as well as I should have, I didn't notice at the time. My b-12 levels were very deficient as well as my thyroid became high due to stress. I was told after having almost a nervous breakdown because of all of this, and being alone 24/7 and basically imprisoned, that I needed to have a support system, anyone other than my 3 year old to talk to.. about anything. Even if its a lunch once a week, speaking with other parents I know at the playground. I was told to reach out to my friends and family and have phone conversations 2-3 times a week and to physically see people atleast once a week. I didn't sound helpful at the time, but a few weeks of talking to my cousin and having lunch with a women with a 4 year old down the street periodically helped a TON.
What your husband is doing now is great, you are really going to need the help in just a few months. And if he had to work these hours after your girls came you would really feel lonely and probably stressed to the max.
Maybe you can sit down with your Husband and make an agreement that either Saturday or Sunday is off limits to go to work. And he can speak with one of his boss's and arrange that. That way you have one day a week every week that you know he will be home to be with you, help you and be supportive.
I know how hard it is especially with pregnancy hormones on top of it. I really hope some of my advice helps you some. Good Luck!
Is there a horse rescue where you could volunteer? They could always use volunteers and it might be great to meet some horsey people there. Or maybe help out at a big barn in your area? We've had people ask to volunteer at our barn and the school horses love the extra grooming or grazing time. Or there are tons of non horse related places that would love the help! So often just having a project or people to meet can make such a big difference.