T&p's for a friend..

Re: T&p's for a friend..

• golfingdarwinfish member

  September 2014 edited September 2014

  It's really, really difficult because you are delivering in a few weeks - please don't be offended if you find that she withdraws from you when your LO arrives, and perhaps until the new year when she is past her EDD.  With my devastating news it was extremely difficult to be around babies, and even when I thought I was improving my EDD brought it all back to a head until I decided it was time to try again 3 weeks after my previous EDD, which was also Christmas.  

  
  

  My heart breaks for your friend.  I would reach out to her every so often and just let her know that you are thinking about her - but I would make it about her, and not proactively offer details of your pregnancy/birth/baby just yet.  It sounds like she wants time and space to herself, but let her know that the moment she's ready to talk you will be there for her.

  
  

  Then again, everyone grieves differently, and she may find that once she emerges from this time of silence that she wants to be surrounded by people that she cares about.  I think that just letting her know that you're there whenever she is ready would be most helpful as she works through this devastating news. 

  Loss Blog (finally updated)
  

  
  

   

  
  

   

  

  5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional.  5 BFPs.  My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
  TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
  
  

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• cshade07 member

  September 2014

  golfingdarwinfish said:

  It's really, really difficult because you are delivering in a few weeks - please don't be offended if you find that she withdraws from you when your LO arrives, and perhaps until the new year when she is past her EDD.  With my devastating news it was extremely difficult to be around babies, and even when I thought I was improving my EDD brought it all back to a head until I decided it was time to try again 3 weeks after my previous EDD, which was also Christmas.  

  
  

  My heart breaks for your friend.  I would reach out to her every so often and just let her know that you are thinking about her - but I would make it about her, and not proactively offer details of your pregnancy/birth/baby just yet.  It sounds like she wants time and space to herself, but let her know that the moment she's ready to talk you will be there for her.

  
  

  Then again, everyone grieves differently, and she may find that once she emerges from this time of silence that she wants to be surrounded by people that she cares about.  I think that just letting her know that you're there whenever she is ready would be most helpful as she works through this devastating news. 

  
  Thanks @golfingdarwinfish‌ - I had no idea, I'm so sorry! But thank you for sharing your own personal experience & feelings.. It is a big help to hear this from someone who has experienced something similar & the advice is very helpful!

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• persephonerose member

  September 2014

  I am so sorry for what your friend must be experiencing. It is heartbreaking.
  
  A friend of mine had a late term loss and I still wanted to be supportive but knew that physically being around her with my young son would be painful. Instead I did random treats from afar.  I sent her favorite flowers one week, then had amazon send her favorite candy the next, etc.  While we did not talk for several months I tried to remember her once a month with something small. She contacted me about 6 months afterwards and told me she really appreciated how I remembered her during that time even though we were apart.
  
  

  
  
  
  
  

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• lrobi13 member

  September 2014

  No advice but I will be thinking of her. That is terrible news.

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