STMs...need potty training advice!

abcmom12 · September 2014

So my DD is 2.6, been popping and peeing in the toilet for several months both at daycare and home and has long dry periods. 1/3 the time she gets to the toilet before she goes, 1/3 time she sorta starts (leaks or some poop passes) and finishes in the potty and 1/3 she doesn't say a damn word (usually just for pee). We tried panties for a Sat and she peed them three times without any real distress. She was upset she was wet but not enough so she didn't do it again. I went back to pullups cause I couldn't deal with a poop panty at the time.

We've done M&M rewards, stickers, nothing has stuck! Other than giving her a book every time she pees, I can't see a way of motivating her. She cheers and is so proud when she pees, we inform her we don't pee in the diaper, that she needs to tell us when she has to go; we ask all the time, she sits every morning and evening before bed and we know when she tends to go before bed after daycare.

Now, we've reached the point where she pitches massive crying fits when we have to put on a diaper and would rather be naked under her pants. Then other times, she's ok with it and behaves. I'm buying Dora panties now cause that's the stupid character on her diapers and she's been pointing it out to me as "special".

Any tips?! Please! I've got the stubborn toddler who doesn't care if they're wet and is too smart to perform for treats!

nesenotes · September 2014

I've got nothing because I'm having the same issue. I've even tried the undies with her fave character and told her not to pee pee on molly. It's so hit or miss. Naked she'll have zero accidents. With undies more accidents (like she still hid and pooped yesterday! ) but if she is wearing a diaper she won't say a damn word. As a matter of fact she now tells me "I poop, you change diaper?" So annoying. Just poop in the GD potty already! You can tell me all that tell me you have to go. You know to hide because I'll interrupt you but you won't tell me you have to go?! Annoying. Potty training will be the end of me.

Cheekers2010 · September 2014

Honestly, I would say she's probably not quite ready. I realize I'm far more laid back about this then a lot of other people. But, I've always figured that it would be easier on me and my DS if I follow his lead. Starting at 2.5 I tried every few months and if he had problems we stopped entirely and then tried again later. He finally fully pee trained at just over 3 and poop trained at 3.5. When he was ready, he was totally ready. He didn't fight it, he went directly on the big potty (with a donut seat) and he 100% told us when he needed to go. He has been entirely without accident, too.

Of course this is also based on his personality. With absolutely everything he's ever done, when he's ready he just does it. If I try and push before, it causes more problems and we fight for months. Not worth it, imho.

Cheekers2010 · September 2014

I feel you on the urgency @IamInigoMontoya - My DS had to be fully potty trained by September 4th. He was fully potty trained in August.

abcmom12 · September 2014

I'm starting to wonder if it's become her ultimate battle of the wills with me. She'll pee on command for DH but with me it's Game On Sister! Before the battles picked up with me again she was going almost full weeks totally dry at daycare and at home so I'm pretty sure she understands the "need to go" urge @twolittledogs

She follows us both to the bathroom and applauds us for going, saying "I'm so proud!" and flushes for us. Had to stop her trying to wipe for us lol

Gonna buy some puppy pads and tinker bell (her fave character) panties to see if that peaks her desire. I'm expecting some regression come baby I just hope it'll be from full potty to 80-90% potty if she's trained instead of back to no potty.

if she's not ready she's not ready, but she acts ready at daycare so who knows what's stopping her at home...

abcmom12 · September 2014

Going to take her tonight prob to go get them. last time we gave her panties as a gift and she freaked so maybe picking them herself will make a difference.

why can't humans come out potty trained? this NEEDS to be the next evolutionary step!

Eora3 · September 2014

It sounds like you have been switching things up a lot and she may be confused by the inconsistency.

I would suggest underwear full time and just dealing with it. Don't go back to diapers. Pull-ups over night are ok. It is going to take a while for her to get into a groove.

Go back to the basics. Have her sit on the potty every half hour to an hour even if she doesn't have to go. Don't get overly upset or emotional if she has an accident, just remind her that the pee and poop goes in the toilet so she can stay clean and dry.

Be consistent. I would skip all the sticker/candy/celebration stuff. It can be overwhelming and stressful for them. Talk about keeping clean and dry. Focus on the natural consequence that peeing or pooping in her pants means she has to stop playing and get cleaned up and changed.

PhDMomma · September 2014

Ds is almost 3, and is pee trained but we're still working on poop. We used m and m as a reward early on, which seemed to work well. I agree that switching between undies and diapers is confusing. We just did undies and I did a lot of laundry. I also have him "help" he clean up pee accidents with a rag.

ashleykadlec · September 2014

First, please don't be offended - potty training is really hard on everyone especially when you are doing it with little ones under 3. This is all just from my experiences, and hopefully this will help you.

I worked in toddler rooms for years dealing with potty training, and I just potty trained my DD who is 2 yr 3 mos 3 weeks ago and she is totally potty trained and I used the same method I used when working in the toddler rooms. Of course every kid is different, this is just my opinion:

Ditch the diapers and pull ups and never look back. (Unless your using diapers for bed time) Pull ups are the worst thing for little kids because they are confusing for them, but convenient for parents. Especially when dealing with kids under 3, I think its extremely confusing that they are allowed to go in the pull up/diaper when mom and dad put that on them, but when wearing panties its not okay. No one in the world likes to clean up pee, poop, do 4 loads of laundry a day, clean the couch, etc. If YOU are not fully committed to going all out with the potty training, how can you expect your little one to? So much of potty training is dependent on the parent. My biggest advise is that if you aren't ready to go cold turkey with out diapers/pulls ups when you are dealing with a 2 yr old, just give it a rest until you have time to fully commit. It only took 2 days of having full bladder accidents with DD before she started to recognize when she needed to go. VERY very messy 2 days, but so worth it. We bough TONS of undies for her, let her pick out special candies like m&ms, chocolate covered raisins, etc. and bough her stickers to put on a chart after she goes. Making sure they do full bladder pees on the potty is really important too. If she just tinkled a little and i let her get down, within 5 mins she would start to have an accident. They are little, they are learning, and i NEVER ever got upset with her for having an accident no matter how annoyed i was. There were days when she first stared that she would only go a tiny bit but i knew she had to go more, so i pulled a chair in the bathroom with her and we would read books for 10, 15, 20 mins until she fully went. Super hard and stressful, but its i believe it was my job to do everything i can for her to help her be successful with this no matter how shitty it was for me. The second she wakes up the diaper comes off and she picks out her undies for the day and we go straight to the potty, does her business, picks a candy and a sticker and were good to go. If within an hour she hasn't told me she has to go, i pick her up and set her on the potty and she will go without fail every time. If she only goes a little, i tell her "get it all out then we can go get our special candy and sticker!" and she'll refocus and go. Ive been repeating the cycle every day, every hour for the last 2 weeks and she does amazing and never has accidents. I can even take her grocery shopping or out to dinner and she won't have an accident as long as i make sure that she empties her bladder before we leave and i keep track of how much she's drank/how long its been since she went last. Its a lot of work, but you have to be fully committed. You can't start the training, stop, change your mind half way, decide you dont want to clean up pee today so just throw on a pull up and expect your little one to be potty trained. I hope this helps a little, its rough for a few days but so rewarding once you get through it! good luck!!

LaxMOM44 · September 2014

Ok this may be gross but i was potty trained in a weekend by my East Indian Grandma. Apparently she just let me run around naked and every time I started squatting she would tell me to run to the potty, she watched me
Like a hawk that whole weekend and then I figured it out, at least that's the story I've been told.

MaineMama · September 2014

LaxMOM44 said:

Ok this may be gross but i was potty trained in a weekend by my East Indian Grandma. Apparently she just let me run around naked and every time I started squatting she would tell me to run to the potty, she watched me Like a hawk that whole weekend and then I figured it out, at least that's the story I've been told.

That's how I trained my DD!

jennielee123 · September 2014

Cheekers2010 said:

Honestly, I would say she's probably not quite ready. I realize I'm far more laid back about this then a lot of other people. But, I've always figured that it would be easier on me and my DS if I follow his lead. Starting at 2.5 I tried every few months and if he had problems we stopped entirely and then tried again later. He finally fully pee trained at just over 3 and poop trained at 3.5. When he was ready, he was totally ready. He didn't fight it, he went directly on the big potty (with a donut seat) and he 100% told us when he needed to go. He has been entirely without accident, too.

Of course this is also based on his personality. With absolutely everything he's ever done, when he's ready he just does it. If I try and push before, it causes more problems and we fight for months. Not worth it, imho.

I totally agree with you. We started trying with DD between two and and two and a half, and it was a constant struggle. We decided that she probably wasn't ready and gave it a break until she was three. The second try was a piece of cake. She was completely potty trained within about two weeks of the second try, and hardly had any accidents after that. I think them being ready is a huge factor in it being a success.

abcmom12 · September 2014

the Dora panties were a huge hit last night and she wanted to wear them over her diaper for bed. at daycare when I told them about the panties/underwear, they said they were about to suggest she make the switch cause she goes in the potty ALL DAY at daycare with maybe the rare incident during nap.

ran my theory past them this might be her exerting control on me and they said it was entirely possible since she does it for them. so in love with her teachers now cause they told her before I left, "you need to pee on the potty at home for mommy ok?" and she looked right at them and said, "ok, I will. I'm a big girl!" love that she respects them so much and maybe knowing they want her to do it at home will help.

puppy pads arrive Friday for my furniture and come the weekend, it's underwear all day except for sleeping time and I'm bringing in spare clothes to daycare so she can do no pullups there too. DH is on board although I'll be bearing the brunt of the messes, but hey, I'm going to enlist DD to help clean up when there is one so she can take responsbility for the accident.

Kinda semi-pumped now lol

AnonnAni · September 2014

@abcmom12 woop woop no pull ups at daycare. I think it totally helps when daycare reinforces the potty training. Totally going through a potty training tough time right now with my DD. She is constantly talking about wanting to pee. And we started with panties straight away with her while she was home with hand foot and mouth but then stopped b/c by day 3 she went back to wetting herself b/c that's when DS was home and she would be distracted and it seemed futile. So not sure to start again but really wanna get her out of diapers is she is ready but I feel like she is a bad date giving me mixed signals lol.

mlee116 · September 2014

I'm late to the party, but I think its great that you are ditching the pull-ups/diapers once and for all. DS was pretty much potty trained at home, but at school they kept trying to use the pull-ups and he kept having accidents. IMO, they are too similar to diapers and they need to feel when they are wet/dirty. Since we sent him in underwear, he rarely has an accident at school and if he does, its usually on the way to the potty from being outside or doing a really fun activity.

We still use the pull-ups at night and we call them his "night undies." After a couple of months, he now wakes up to go potty and usually doesn't wet the PU. We do have to make sure we get him to the potty first thing in the morning and then changed into underwear or else he'll want to wear the PU all day.

The struggle is real with potty training!

abcmom12 · September 2014

Go @twolittledogs DD!! Maybe it'll spread like the terrible behavior did last week among the littles

soulcupcake · September 2014

I responded to a potty learning thread a little bit ago. I went cold turkey on diapers with my kids on day one. They were in underwear 24/7 from the start. My girls were 27 months and 19 months when they were fully trained on the potty, and my son was around 29 months. I used the same system with all of them, and it was very effective. Very few accidents within the initial 3-4 days, and accidents thereafter only when we were away from home and couldn't make it to a bathroom in time. So I invested in a portable potty, and it came in handy for going out.

Picking out underwear was part of the process early on. They loved choosing their underwear, and I explained to them to keep Dora/Princess/Spider-Man dry because they like being dry. It seemed to work pretty well.

I absolutely dreaded the process, because I was prepared for it to be a big battle, but surprisingly it was a quick and easy process with all of them.

Serunatu · September 2014

LaxMOM44 said:

Ok this may be gross but i was potty trained in a weekend by my East Indian Grandma. Apparently she just let me run around naked and every time I started squatting she would tell me to run to the potty, she watched me Like a hawk that whole weekend and then I figured it out, at least that's the story I've been told.

This is what my friend did with her 18 mo son. It's called "the naked week". It took a lot of watching him closely and a lot of clean ups, but he is completely potty trained-even wiping and washing his hands on his own after.

Want a personalized experience?

STMs...need potty training advice!

Re: STMs...need potty training advice!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards