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Sex and relationship concerns

BlondieandbrownieBlondieandbrownie member
in 3rd Trimester
My husband and I have always had a very healthy sex life but he just doesn't seem interested in me anymore. He pulls disapproving faces and makes comments such as "you're looking very pregnant today dear..." and in the very next breath will comment on how lovely someone on the tv is looking (which is nothing new, we've always been open and chatted about celebrity crushes etc) this is now hurting my feelings as he hasn't even kissed me passionately in a month and I don't know how to handle it. Part of me feels like I can't blame him because I wouldn't want to be intimate with me being the size I am right now if I was a guy either!
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Re: Sex and relationship concerns

  • Leesh2007Leesh2007 member
    My husband and I have struggled with the same issue off and on during this pregnancy.  I talk to him openly about how it hurts my feelings.  Personally, sex should be an emotional connection, not just a physical one. No matter what we look like right now, they need to understand we're developing a life inside of us and we still need to feel connected/bonded to them as their wives.  I would recommend letting him know how you feel, he may not realize how he's acting.
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  • ams72691ams72691 member
    I think that this is super common. My husband bought me a toy and I try to treat him often. It keeps our spark going. It makes us feel better even though we are not having "sex". Just remember pregnancy is temporary not forever. I was upset too thinking he was not attracted to me anymore. So I talked to him about it and turns out he was terrified of poking our little guy in the face.. and he swears he felt him one time lol. I hope you guys can figure put something that works for you two. Best of luck xoxo
    p.s I am sure you look fabulous!
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  • wildflower75wildflower75 member
    I think lots of times husbands are worried that with our pregnancy aches and pains that we are not interested in sex and so they don't initiate anything.
    Talk to him about it and try initiating intimacy yourself!
    We didn't have sex for 2 weeks or so and I said to my husband "tonight we have to have sex it has to happen"... we did.. 3 times in two days!
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  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    edited September 2014
    Blondieandbrownie said:
    My husband and I have always had a very healthy sex life but he just doesn't seem interested in me anymore. He pulls disapproving faces and makes comments such as "you're looking very pregnant today dear..." and in the very next breath will comment on how lovely someone on the tv is looking (which is nothing new, we've always been open and chatted about celebrity crushes etc) this is now hurting my feelings as he hasn't even kissed me passionately in a month and I don't know how to handle it. Part of me feels like I can't blame him because I wouldn't want to be intimate with me being the size I am right now if I was a guy either!
    That's a shitty thing to do. Like, douche-tastic. I mean, H and I obviously find celebrities attractive and whatnot (hello, Outlander) but I would never tell him he was looking big and then comment on a person on TV.

    Talk to your H. Tell him how you're feeling. And if he brushes you off, call him on it.

    Look, people find attractive what they find attractive/the heart wants what the heart wants, but I didn't sign a piece of paper on my wedding day promising to always look a certain way. Neither did H. And I think it's crappy to make someone feel bad about how they look when they're carrying your child that you assumptively decided to have together and you had to realize that it means body changes.



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  • lesliegolemlesliegolem member
    Yea have to agree the way your hubby is acting is not cool. I'd definitely talk to him. Maybe he just is afraid of hurting you or the baby. But given the fact that he hasn't kissed you passionately in a month and the comments I'm worried he's being a jerk about your physical appearance.

    You being big is no excuse for him being disrespectful and distant. Even after the baby is here it may take a bit for your body to adjust and you may never look the same. Better to talk to him about all this now.
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  • MrsDLMrsDL member
    Blondieandbrownie said:
     Part of me feels like I can't blame him because I wouldn't want to be intimate with me being the size I am right now if I was a guy either!

    I don't think the "you're looking very pregnant today dear" is in, and of itself, disrespectful or mean spirited - believe it or not many men I know LOVE how their wives look pregnant, either from a sexual perspective or a place of special appreciation or both. 

     I don't get the disapproving looks (he's had a hand in creating your current pregnant state), but it sounds from the statement above YOU are not feeling particularly good about YOURSELF.  That's an issue that will play into how somebody perceives and/or interacts with you. Your husband might just be leaving you alone because he feels that is what you want, because you don't feel sexy, beautiful, sexual, etc.  Guys don't like rejection either.  Talk to him about it.  Also, try and find the beauty in it for yourself.  It's hard to expect somebody to want to kiss you passionately or want sex when you are saying you wouldn't want to be intimate with you either - he might be picking up on this and leaving you alone. I wouldn't write him off as a total asshole this second, it sounds like there might be a lack of communication or misunderstanding underlying this whole thing.

     
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