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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
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How to handle hitting

littlebean510littlebean510 member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Hi,
My 17 month old just recently starting hitting me.  It started happening when I would pick her up do diaper changes.  I tell her no hitting, that hurts and show her "gentle" and she touches my face with gentle hands.  She can't say sorry yet but I tell her to say sorry and give mommy a kiss.  This is fine, until an hour later when she does it again if I pick her up and take her away from something she's currently doing.  Now it's becoming more and more common that when I pick her up she hits me.  I try not to lose my patience.  I've raised my voice while following the same routine above with no hitting, gentle hands, etc.  When I do the stern voice she's on the verge of tears.  But it doesn't stop her from doing it again the next time.  I have a feeling she's just trying to get a reaction out of me.  Should I give less attention to it while still telling her no?  How do you all handle hitting and those that have experienced it, how long does this phase last?


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Re: How to handle hitting

  • ashiscuteashiscute member
    We do timeouts.  We started at 17 months (ish) for both DD and DS.  If they hit they got a warning and if they hit again they go to timeout.  Timeout is in a corner in our kitchen for 1 minute per year of age.  When the timer goes off I go over and say "you were in timeout for hitting".  When they are a bit older I ask instead of tell.  DS would say hitting by about 20 months.  I give them the opportunity to say sorry but do not force it.  Then we move on.  

    It will not get better over night but I like timeouts because they are a consistent, predictable consequence.  I much prefer it to taking away a toy or just ignoring them until they decide to be nice because the timeout is the same every time.  I know a lot of moms on here do the gentle touches instead but that was not sufficient for us.  DS was hitting like crazy around 20 months and his main target was DD.  There were days he went to timeout 7 or 8 times.  He just turned 2 this month and he gets a timeout for hitting maybe 2 or 3 times per week.  While it's not over it's definitely better.  
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  • MrsStangerMrsStanger member
    In our house it depends on the type of hit. I know that doesnt make sense but DD has learned to swat and also to hit. if she hits i cry (im pregnant so i can turn that feature on and off) Or ill put her down walk away and wait until she comes to me. Time outs are great if she isnt showing any signs of empathy but once you see she knows she hurt you and doesnt seem to care the time out is necessary.
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  • ashiscuteashiscute member
    MrsStanger said:
    In our house it depends on the type of hit. I know that doesnt make sense but DD has learned to swat and also to hit. if she hits i cry (im pregnant so i can turn that feature on and off) Or ill put her down walk away and wait until she comes to me. Time outs are great if she isnt showing any signs of empathy but once you see she knows she hurt you and doesnt seem to care the time out is necessary.
    You're right it doesn't.  2 year old are really not able to understand empathy.  They are just as likely to laugh at the sound of your "crying". 

    Besides, I have two kids.  I'm not going to let DS think its okay to hit DD as long as he shows signs of "empathy".  
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