Back again :(

KristinNP · September 2014

Well I was hoping for a better outcome at this ultrasound appointment, but I had a feeling I wouldn't be getting good news. This is our 4th miscarriage and 2nd one that's occurred after hearing a heartbeat. Found out we were pregnant 5 DPO and immediately went onto progesterone because after the 3rd miscarriage they determine I had a progesterone deficiency and suspected luteal phase defect. During all my other pregnancies I started spotting around the 5 week and they felt this was the cause of the miscarriages. So went on 400mg of Prometrium right away and there was no spotting which we took as a good sign. Had a 6 week ultrasound where there was a strong heartbeat and I was having lots of symptoms and was generally feeling pregnant. Two days later all symptoms were gone but returned (although not as bad) two days after that. Have not felt the same since then and just went in for my 8.5 week ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. Doctor seemed shocked and started talking about testing and things (which I had tried to get done last time). I'm just feeling very discouraged at that this point. He was trying to be optimistic and saying that it's good that i can at least get pregnant which I do understand as lots of couples struggle to conceive. However, i was a bit angry too because if I can't maintain a pregnancy that seems to really mitigate any good that comes from being able to conceive. Or maybe I was just not ready or wanting to hear anything good after getting that much bad news. So seems i get another D&C this weekend, at least they can do some genetic testing to see if anything like that is happening. Although not sure what can be done if it is? Thanks for letting me vent ladies.

flyoffeve · September 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. It is ok to feel angry at this point and not want to hear anything about "next time." I know that I have felt that way. Give yourself time to grieve and then think about what is next- testing, etc.- when you are ready/willing to do so.

I am glad you found this board to vent.

ctk181 · September 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses. Please take care of yourself.

4N6s · September 2014

Bless you.... Couldn't imagine going through all that you have.

FigureSkater8 · September 2014

I'm so sorry. You are a brave lady. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Pardon me if I ramble for a minute...but I just literally got home from my D&C and am resting in bed. This was my first one and I'm just sad reading this board and thinking of women who have gone through multiple crushing disappointments and D&Cs etc. What amazing stuff we women are made of to basically sacrifice our bodies to try to bring a new life into the world. And to get up over and over when it's just crushing disappointment - it's just unbelievable to me. It gives me a new respect for women, particularly when I think of older women who have probably often gone through hell and high water on various health issues over their lives.

I pray that the coming weeks will bring you some peace and comfort. Maybe the genetic testing will give you some ideas or plan of action...and if they don't or if you don't do it or proceed further, that's OK too. Hugs.

meredithcarole · September 2014

So sorry for your loss.

katie0919 · September 2014

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I am going through a natural miscarriage as we speak, and I was able to put my "products of conception" (as the RE office puts it) in a collection cup they gave me and am considering the testing as well.

This is my second miscarriage and she is the one that suggested the testing. I am assuming it's for peace of mind, but also to ensure that, if nothing was wrong with the embryo, they can determine what else might be ending the pregnancies - or they will just determine something was chromosomally wrong with the baby. I am truly not sure if this is something I want to know - but I guess if something is wrong with me, I want to find out so it can hopefully be corrected.

Again, I am so very sorry you are going through this (again). No one should have to endure this, but know you are not alone!! Take care of yourself, bug hugs.

kyliehopeful · September 2014

Sorry for your loss, I'm also recurrent too. Baby never makes it past 9 weeks even with progesterone and clexane help. Hopefully all of us will get some good news next time around as the constant disappointment is so tough

KristinNP · September 2014

Thanks for all the kind words ladies. Seems as though I'm moved from being very sad and disappointed to being totally pissed (excuse my language). This is completely and totally unfair and it's making me very angry. So I've spent all day researching every possible test to figure out what the problem is (because I DO NOT believe this is "just bad luck") and when I see my OB on Friday I plan on handing it to him and pretty much demanding this is all checked into. And if he can't look into it I want to be referred somewhere that can. It's been a year and a half now and I refuse to accept this as a permanent outcome.

Been off the progesterone for 48 hours now and still haven't started bleeding or cramping. Makes me wonder if my levels were really so low before? I would have thought without my supplements I would be spotting by now at least. One more day of work to get through.

kcmomz3 · September 2014

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I just went through the same thing with this pregnancy. It's been a little over 2 year journey with us and has taken a lot of work to get pregnant. First pregnancy, we lost our sweet baby at 5 weeks and that was our only natural pregnancy. Then my ob discovered I had lot progestrone levels. Second pregnancy, my ob put me on femera to help ovaluation and progestrone and they worked to get us pregnant again. Then we found out we lost of 2nd baby at 7.5 weeks. After our second loss, we started to see an re and underwent more testing where they found some low hormone levels, and problems with ovulating. We conceived on our fourth round of treatment, and our pregnancy started out great. We saw the heartbeat at 6 weeks which was a big milestone for us. The shock of not finding the heartbeat at 8 weeks was so hard for us. We just had a d&c yesterday and are undergoing genetic testing of the baby to hope to find an answer. All my rambling said, I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone and I hope for the best for you!

KristinNP · September 2014

Thank you. Very sorry your loss as well @kcmomz3

We've twice heart heatbeats. At 6.5 weeks during my second pregnancy with my twins and at 6 weeks with this pregnancy. One twin had a low heartbeat but the others was fine as was this one. And everytime we go back at 8 weeks and the baby has passed somewhere shortly after the first ultrasound. Keep getting told the odds of loosing a baby after hearing a heartbeat are so low and the odds of loosing a second after hearing one is almost non-existant. I wish we could beat the odds on something better, like winning the lottery.

Still haven't begun to miscarry and my D&C is tomorrow, guess I'll be requiring some assistance with the D part of this procedure. I've spotted throughout my other three pregnancies, so still seeing no blood at this point knowing is very odd for me.

jade4483 · September 2014

Ladies, thank you so much for sharing your stories and being such a wonderful source of support. I know (too) many people experience this pain, but when you're in the middle of it, it is so confusing and isolating. We lost our first baby this week at 9wks, after a successful US and strong heartbeat at 6wks. My husband and I both had deaths in the the family recently, and this baby was our little beacon of hope in the middle of all that grief. The miscarriage was well under way when we went to the ER early Monday morning for bleeding. Our doc encouraged us to go through this naturally instead of getting the D&C, but did a horrible job of preparing us for what that meant. It has been a long and painful week... and just when I thought the worst was over and I was improving, the pain returned, and I passed what distinguishably was the baby. I was so unprepared for that and could not bring myself to flush our baby down the toilet. What a nightmare. I'm resting in the arms of Jesus, and my husband has been the most compassionate and loving support. I'm not looking for answers b/c I know there aren't any, but I'm just wishing that none of us ever had to experience this, especially those of you who have gone through it multiple times.

KristinNP · September 2014

At home finally recovering from surgery after a very horrible night. I thought having miscarried naturally I knew what I was in for but that misoprostol is something else. And I had a low dose. I hope to never have to take it again. Hoping to catch up on some sleep as I did not get any last night thanks to that drug.

The tissue will be tested to see if anything was wrong and I've also got a referral to an RE closest to us. So hopefully we will be able to move forward when we are ready. Thanks so much again ladies for letting me vent and sharing your own stories.

IfMamaAintHappy · September 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses and want to reiterate what pp have said about seeking RE. My OB started the RPL panel of tests after my 2nd miscarriage and we completed them all after the 3rd. She encouraged us to see the RE as she knew this was out of her league. My RE only had one additional test he likes to order so I felt fortunate my OB was proactive. Honestly, run, don't walk to an RE (it's not a knock against your OB) and I promise you will feel a tiny bit better once you feel like you are on a path to some answers and not just blindly groping on a path that seems to keep leading you to losses. Lots of hugs and prayers for you. Hang in there.

IfMamaAintHappy · September 2014

Also I'm very glad you are having the material tested (I hate referring to it as material). That will be a huge clue for you.

centralperk · September 2014

flyoffeve said:
I am so sorry for your loss. It is ok to feel angry at this point and not want to hear anything about "next time." I know that I have felt that way. Give yourself time to grieve and then think about what is next- testing, etc.- when you are ready/willing to do so.
I am glad you found this board to vent.

Extactly this. It sounds like things are moving forward. I hope you are able to get some answers.

centralperk · September 2014

@jade4483‌ I too was unprepared for seeing things. I can't see your siggy but I wasn't so far along but I am pretty sure I saw the sac and embryo. I didn't know what to do either and had the same thoughts. I wish this experience on no one. ((Hugs))

KristinNP · October 2014

Thanks again everyone. Back to work today and trying to get back to whatever normal used to be like. Looking forward to the referral to the specialist, hoping they will figure out what's going on

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