Whoa... idk how that didn't post...Here's what it's supposed to say:
My partner and I have been together for 5 years. I was a single mom
before then and my daughter is 7. I've always wanted 2 kids and
sometimes he'll listen to the idea but mostly he says each family should
only have one especially ours. His reasons are 1. He doesn't want my
daughter to feel like we don't love her the most. 2. He things the world
is over populated and many babies don't have parents and that we
shouldn't bring another person into the world. He doesn't like the idea
of adoption 3. He doesn't think we have enough money. I can understand
where he comes from, BUT I'm maternal. I've always wanted 2 kids and I
had my daughter when I was 19. Was single the entire time as the father
and I broke up (after he cheated on me again) 2 weeks before I found out
I was 6 weeks pregnant. The pregnancy was great, but it was lacking
love and was surrounded by a lot of hurt and being scared for being so
young. I finally have found the man that I love and that has accepted my
beautiful daughter as his own, but I can't help but want to have just
one more and have a happy experience and share that experience with the
man that I love. I think about this all day and every time I find out
someone is pregnant I'm ecstatic, but I always have to hold back my
grief that I might not ever get that happy feeling. I feel so guilty I
didn't feel that for my daughter due to my fear and the circumstance.
Am I wrong? Is this a deal breaker? What should I do? Is he right? Should I just get over it? Help! Thank you!
I spend a lot of time convincing myself that he's right and that the best thing for our family is just Alexa. I just don't know if when i'm agreeing i actually feel that way or feel that way for the moment because the next day i'm bawling at diaper commercials.
1. He has many reasons (good or not) for not wanting a kid. If he doesn't want one, then you don't have one. Both people should agree to having a child. The child deserves two parents who want them.
2. If it were me, I would want a commitment in the form of marriage from him before I would have a kid with him. Marriage doesn't ensure that your potential future child will have a loving two parent home, but it does make that more likely.
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
2. If it were me, I would want a commitment in the form of marriage from him before I would have a kid with him. Marriage doesn't ensure that your potential future child will have a loving two parent home, but it does make that more likely.
"One of the most highly effective preventive measures a mother can take to protect the health of her infant is to breastfeed." - United States Centers for Disease Control & Prevention
PP's sig.
Oh. I protected the health of my 4 lb infant by feeding him high-calorie formula as per his neonatologist. But cool story bro.
I don't know if this is a joke or not but I'll give you my experience.
I had Ds when I was 20 and me and his father are still together. However, being so young and not very successful was a stressor, not to mention I was also grieving while pregnant. To me, I've always felt I missed out on all the happiness and excitement of a pregnancy for years.
Fast forward 11 years and we decided to have a second. I'll be honest, it was awesome to feel excited and do all the pregnant things I never got to the first time around. But guess what? We BOTH wanted to go for a second. I'm telling you this because if you're both not on board, you're not going to get the outcome you're fantasizing about.
You're focusing on what you never had with the first one and not listening to your partner. This is a slippery slope.
Re: What to do??
My partner and I have been together for 5 years. I was a single mom before then and my daughter is 7. I've always wanted 2 kids and sometimes he'll listen to the idea but mostly he says each family should only have one especially ours. His reasons are 1. He doesn't want my daughter to feel like we don't love her the most. 2. He things the world is over populated and many babies don't have parents and that we shouldn't bring another person into the world. He doesn't like the idea of adoption 3. He doesn't think we have enough money. I can understand where he comes from, BUT I'm maternal. I've always wanted 2 kids and I had my daughter when I was 19. Was single the entire time as the father and I broke up (after he cheated on me again) 2 weeks before I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant. The pregnancy was great, but it was lacking love and was surrounded by a lot of hurt and being scared for being so young. I finally have found the man that I love and that has accepted my beautiful daughter as his own, but I can't help but want to have just one more and have a happy experience and share that experience with the man that I love. I think about this all day and every time I find out someone is pregnant I'm ecstatic, but I always have to hold back my grief that I might not ever get that happy feeling. I feel so guilty I didn't feel that for my daughter due to my fear and the circumstance.
Am I wrong? Is this a deal breaker? What should I do? Is he right? Should I just get over it? Help! Thank you!
2. If it were me, I would want a commitment in the form of marriage from him before I would have a kid with him. Marriage doesn't ensure that your potential future child will have a loving two parent home, but it does make that more likely.
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
I had Ds when I was 20 and me and his father are still together. However, being so young and not very successful was a stressor, not to mention I was also grieving while pregnant. To me, I've always felt I missed out on all the happiness and excitement of a pregnancy for years.
Fast forward 11 years and we decided to have a second. I'll be honest, it was awesome to feel excited and do all the pregnant things I never got to the first time around. But guess what? We BOTH wanted to go for a second. I'm telling you this because if you're both not on board, you're not going to get the outcome you're fantasizing about.
You're focusing on what you never had with the first one and not listening to your partner. This is a slippery slope.