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In need of some support - time to wean the baby:(

macbookmacbook member
in Breastfeeding
I think it is time for me to wean - my baby is almost 4 months old and I have struggled so much with breastfeeding. I have plugged ducts twice a week, had one episode of mastitis already, and I'm constantly in pain either from a plugged duct or nipple pain. I have tried everything, talked to drs, lactation consultants, etc and nothing seems to work. I am on lecithin, i try to breastfeed regularly (work permitted), eat healthy, try to get as much rest as a can, but nothing seems to work. 

I feel really guilty for wanting to wean and I admire the women that breastfeed for a year or more without any problems. I don't know how you do it, I guess you were all lucky. But for me while I love the experience, it has become so painful I don't know what to do. I guess i'm hoping there are others out there that have done the same. That formula isn't the worse thing in the world? That four months is a good/acceptable amount of time? That weaning is the right decision? 
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Re: In need of some support - time to wean the baby:(

  • surpriseadditionsurpriseaddition member
    Weaning is a decision that only a mother (or older baby) can make, and it isn't anyone else's place to say if it is the right decision. And yes, formula isn't the worst thing in the world! Formula was created to sustain the lives of infants whose mothers weren't able to breastfeed for various reasons. I'd say you fall into that category based upon the information you provided. BF is a lot of work, but I also think there is some luck involved too. Just like some women can birth vaginally with no issues and other women need CS (or even the same woman with different babies like me - I had both types of births) some women have more difficulty with BF. As long as you have tried to the best of your ability (based upon what YOU think....not others) than leave the guilt behind. GL!


    **DD1 - 7/9/98**

    **DS - 11/9/00**

    **DD2 - 4/30/13**

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  • mommatotwo2mommatotwo2 member
    surpriseaddition said:

    Weaning is a decision that only a mother (or older baby) can make, and it isn't anyone else's place to say if it is the right decision. And yes, formula isn't the worst thing in the world! Formula was created to sustain the lives of infants whose mothers weren't able to breastfeed for various reasons. I'd say you fall into that category based upon the information you provided. BF is a lot of work, but I also think there is some luck involved too. Just like some women can birth vaginally with no issues and other women need CS (or even the same woman with different babies like me - I had both types of births) some women have more difficulty with BF. As long as you have tried to the best of your ability (based upon what YOU think....not others) than leave the guilt behind. GL!

    All of this.

    I did want to add one thing, you mentioned breastfeeding as regularly as work allows. Are you working outside of the home and not being allowed regular pumping breaks? In most companies, you are protected by the law, but at times you do need to stand up for your right. Breastfeeding regularly is definitely the best way to avoid blocked ducts.

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  • JulyMummaJulyMumma member

    Please, please don't feel guilty. You are a great mom! Being a great mom has nothing to do with breastfeeding or formula feeding. At the end of the day, it is food. Plain and simple. Babies thrive regardless of what they are fed. You need to be happy and well. Your happiness and health are incredibly important to the health and wellness of your child. That trumps any kind of milk.

    Here are some really great resources for you:

    https://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/ 

    https://www.boston.com/lifestyle/health/mdmama/2014/09/what_do_we_actually_know_about_feeding_babies.html

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  • eggmankateeggmankate member

    Aw I'm sorry you are struggling with your decision. You need to do what is right for you. I don't know if this will change your perspective or not (perhaps you won't feel so alone?), but many people struggle with breastfeeding in various ways (some only a little and some to the degree that you have). I had Mastitis at 6 weeks and two subsequent abscesses that needed to be surgically drained. I wound up becoming a one-sided feeder because I just had it with the "bad" side. I hear repeatedly from others that it DOES get easier. I felt it get easier right around the 4 month point. Your supply begins to regulate so that plugged ducts aren't such an issue.

    So that being said, I agree with PP to not quit on a bad day and reassess your feelings again in 1-2 weeks. Nevertheless, if you just need to wean now then be proud of the breastmilk that your baby did get!

    image

    TTC since April 2011. DH Dx MFI in February 2012. BFP #1: 7.16.12. MMC dx: 8.22.12, D&C 8.28.12, TTC Again November 2012. DH Varicocele repair November 2012; Repeat SA showed "dramatic" improvement February 2013 (awesome!)
    BFP #2: 3.26.13, EDC: 12.7.13. Anya born December 9th, 2013!
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