Question for working STMs

arynras · September 2014

With your previous babies, how much time did you take off work and with that experience, how much time are you planning on taking this time around?

I am a teacher and was originally planning on taking 6 weeks because we really couldn't afford another 6 weeks off unpaid and also because I'm a control freak and hate the thought of someone else running my classroom and messing up my routines. But now I am considering taking the whole 12 because I just feel like 6 isn't enough time to bond with my baby before going back. Decisions, decisions...

mlee116 · September 2014

I took 12, but 4 was used up on bedrest before DS arrived, so I had 8 weeks at home. I would have loved to spend the whole 12 weeks with him for the extra bonding time and so that he'd be older before starting DC, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

This time I hope I won't have to be on bedrest and that I get to have all or most of the 12 weeks.

byrne15 · September 2014

With ds#1, I took 2 weeks (it wasn't enough)

With ds#2, I was planning on the 12 weeks, but was ready and went back at 8 weeks.

This time, I am planning 6-8 weeks off.

Traci09 · September 2014

I took 12 last time and will take 15-16 this time if all goes according to plan. 6 weeks of that is paid, the rest is unpaid. For us, 6 weeks was right about when we went from survival mode to some kind of schedule. By 12 weeks, we were down to 1 wake up to nurse most nights and were more settled into a routine.

You'll have to really look at your finances to make sure that the extra time is feasible. We could afford it, so I was able to spend that time not worrying about money and bonding with my baby. It would be a different story if I was worried how we'd pay the mortgage because I was taking extra time off. Good luck in your decision - whatever it is, you'll make it work.

kimba1976 · September 2014

With DD I took 11 weeks off and was ready to go back to work right around 10 weeks, so it was perfect. Leaving her in someone else's care was really, really hard, but that would have been the case no matter when I went back to work. This time I am taking 12 because I can take that much paid. I have the option for another 2 weeks unpaid, but I probably won't take it.

colliebabe · September 2014

I am a teacher as well and I took about 14 weeks off with DD. I teach semester courses so I went back the day that Semester 2 started, which was great because I had a whole new set of students and didn't have to worry about coming back to some else's mess (which I guess the majority of Semester 1 was a total mess because the substitute wasn't very good.)

This time I'm going to try to stretch it out until April if I can, which would be about 4 months off. I figure I will only have about 8-9 weeks left of teaching before summer break and then will have the summer off with the two kids.

I think I would be fine to go back earlier, but we can afford for me to take the time. Also I loathe pumping at work and the less time I have to deal with that, the better!

jjaxbie · September 2014

The most that I can and still have a job to come back to - so 12 weeks here.

It's a little tight financially with some of the time unpaid, but for us completely worth it. MH is a stay at home dad so with me as the primary breadwinner, maternity leave is likely the only time where I can focus 100% on just the baby and family for an extended period of time. Plus I really hate pumping at work so the more time it's tap to mouth the better.

bombe4 · September 2014

With DD I only took 6 weeks because it was all that we could afford financially. With this little lady we are in a better situation financially and I think I will be taking the full 12 weeks.

haleyusf · September 2014

With DS, I had 5 weeks of work-from-home leave b/c of bed rest and then took 10 weeks off after delivery. I was getting a little stir crazy towards the end, but I agree with a PP - the first month or two were pure survival mode and I wouldn't have been of use to anyone before about 8wks.

RayRay007 · September 2014

Well I won't tell you how many weeks because I'm in Canada and we can take 52, but I will tell you I ended up going back earlier than I planned. I was eager to get back to work.

SissynJitters · September 2014

With DD, I had planned on 12 weeks, but went back part-time at 6 weeks. I was able to continue with part-time until my FMLA ran out.

I'm planning on doing the same with this one - except I'll go back part-time starting at 8 weeks.

AllTheTeaInChina · September 2014

I took 12 weeks last time and will be again. I can't imagine going back after only 6weeks. We were just starting to figure things out at that time.

leoandethansmom · September 2014

With DS I was SO stressed at work that I said fuck it and started maternity leave 3 weeks before he was due. I had 9 weeks to spend with him after he was born and it still didn't feel like enough.

With this LO, I will be taking the full 12 weeks again and I'm hoping to work up until the last minute so I can have all 12 weeks with him. However, now that I'm high risk and already dilating, I'm guessing I may have to go out early. Luckily this LO is due in slow season at work so I won't be missing much and my boss won't be stuck handling all of the crazy by himself.

I'm honestly really looking forward to a 3 month break from my job, even though being mommy to a newborn is even harder, it's much more rewarding of a job.

VMac1984 · September 2014

First time around I took 11 months off and this time I'll take about 9 months. 6 weeks seems crazy to me! How does it work for you all in the U.S.? Is everyone guaranteed 6 weeks with pay by the gov't. and then it's up to your individual employer?

leoandethansmom · September 2014

VMac1984 said:

First time around I took 11 months off and this time I'll take about 9 months. 6 weeks seems crazy to me! How does it work for you all in the U.S.? Is everyone guaranteed 6 weeks with pay by the gov't. and then it's up to your individual employer?

FMLA protects your job for 12 weeks, I believe the pay is up to the states. In Texas, there is no mandatory pay. The only pay I will be receiving is my Paid Time Off I have saved up from the year plus the short term disability I signed up for. We pretty much get screwed money wise, we just get protected jobs.

abcmom12 · September 2014

I took off 10wks with DD and it worked out perfectly for us. I was going stir crazy and ready to be back among adults and this one will probably be the same because at 8wks I just wasn't ready emotionally.

LaxMOM44 · September 2014

Another Canadian, so my answer may not apply, but I think physically I was exhausted until 3 months. The first 8 weeks were insane. So I would say do at least 8 weeks at home if you can.

bowlwoman · September 2014

leosmom25 said:

VMac1984 said:

First time around I took 11 months off and this time I'll take about 9 months. 6 weeks seems crazy to me! How does it work for you all in the U.S.? Is everyone guaranteed 6 weeks with pay by the gov't. and then it's up to your individual employer?

FMLA protects your job for 12 weeks, I believe the pay is up to the states. In Texas, there is no mandatory pay. The only pay I will be receiving is my Paid Time Off I have saved up from the year plus the short term disability I signed up for. We pretty much get screwed money wise, we just get protected jobs.

Yup. At least my company's headquarters are in California so we get some better benefits, even though we're in the Texas office.

This is my third baby but first time as a working mom. I'm taking the full 12 weeks off, although at first I thought I would only be able to take 8. My company will pay 2/3 salary through STD after a one-week exclusion, and most people use their PTO to make up the 1/3 salary hit that STD doesn't cover.

I originally thought I only had enough PTO get to get through January, but I talked to payroll and it turns out I do have enough. With DH still looking for a job and no guarantee of when he'll get hired somewhere, I had to make sure I had full pay the whole time because we cannot afford a 1/3 paycut even for a couple of weeks.

Plus, I was worried about the projects/programs I work on going to shit because of resourcing issues (two contractors are up while I'm gone), but it looks like the dept is looking at doing some resource reorganization, so now I'm not so worried about it. This reorg did come up mainly as a matter of filling my role while I'm gone, but in the long run, it's what needed to happen anyway. I work on four different product lines, and I'm the only full time employee on all of them. The rest of the writers are contractors who can only max out at one year, so I was constantly having to rehire and retrain people. Now that my manager is getting a taste of the crap I have to do every 12 months, she's looking at other options. Sad it took my maternity leave to do it, but hey, whatever works at this point!

jayellekay · September 2014

I took 12 weeks (unpaid except for my Aflac policy) the first time. 6 weeks would have been too little, and 12 was borderline too much. BUT...I really feel most of that came from me being concerned about the funding for my job and I felt that by being out of the office really didn't do much to help prove how essential I was, know what I mean? (I ended up being laid off a year later.)

This time, I don't have any concerns about my job, thankfully, but I am taking 6 weeks completely off and then I will do some PT work from home for the second 6 weeks. Total of 12 weeks out of the office. The PT work will be easy--answering some emails, working on some writing projects, etc.--and will help supplement my Aflac income. My 3.5 year old will still go to preschool every day, so I'm hoping it will be easy to manage with just a newborn at home.

ColoradoBoat · September 2014

To the Canadians--Yes, US leave policy s*cks compared to other developed nations (I've heard even Jamaica's is better than ours, mon!) At any rate, there is no guaranteed paid time off for the majority of US moms. In fact, almost 40% of the workforce doesn't qualify for FMLA, which is a US law that guarantees 12 weeks unpaid IF YOU WORK FOR A COMPANY THAT HAS 50 OR MORE EMPLOYEES. I work for a nonprofit that has 19 employees, so my workplace doesn't legally have to hold my job for me, nor pay me anything other than vacation time accrued.

Luckily, my employer has unpaid maternity leave as a part of its employee manual, so I'm safe there. I'll be using PTO and my Aflac short-term disability policy (60% pay with first week unpaid) to cobble together 10 weeks of paid time off. I'm a FTM and really appreciate all the STMs insights on this post, thank you!

perfectlove09 · September 2014

Courtneylovesjason2 said:
Out of curiosity: Does FMLA vary by state or employer? I was going through my union contract and I could take up to 6 months with the FMLA (only 6-12 weeks paid)...

FMLA has standard rules and then your employeer can have others.

I took 12 weeks unpaid last time. It was no where near enough time for me and I still wish I was able to stay home. I will take 12 weeks this time as well. My position is seemingly slipping away right now so there's a good chance that by the time I get back from leave my current position will be gone. There will be others I can take but probably not with the flexibility I have now.

Last time we had no money saved up. This time I have enough to get us through 4 months plus what ever my husband can make.

That being said...my husband is losing his job 12/3 and I'm due 1/1. Great timing huh?

emsrdh03 · September 2014

With DS I took 6 weeks. All unpaid. This time I will take 6 weeks. Partially paid by a Short term disability policy I pay for out of pocket. I don't qualify for FMLA because my office only employs 10 people.

Is 6 weeks enough? I made do last time. Would have loved more but we couldn't afford it. This time i could take 8 but I'd completely exhaust my PTO which would be stupid knowing how the first year in daycare is with all the sick days.

amieeyoung · September 2014

Last time I stayed home for six months (due to a job transition period) but now working full time I will be taking 8 weeks (all but 2 weeks of my sick leave- I want to save a few for doc appointments and such), but at least that is 8 weeks paid.... I want to be in denial about it all- I'd love to have 6 months, but I have to work since I carry insurance... good ole USA at its finest.

Beevol · September 2014

With DD I ended up taking 13 weeks because my boss is nice and rounded my 12 weeks FMLA up to an even 3 months. I worked up until I went into labor (a week or so after my due date) and since I work at a desk and had no health issues, it would have been wasteful for me to take time off prior to that point.

After about week 7 or 8 I started working from home consistently about 10-15 hours a week and I attended a few meetings a week starting around week 10. It was great because by the end of it I wanted to go back to work. It was hard leaving her but breastfeeding was fully established, I had a good milk supply in the freezer, and I knew how to make pumping work for me (the last was probably the hardest for me - the pump and I never really bonded). I had ~4weeks PTO saved up, a STD policy of 50% for 6 weeks, and then got paid hourly for my work from home time, so it wasn't all paid but it was doable.

I had a good sleeper the first time and she was getting 7-9 hours at night by 7 weeks but I liked having that extra time to bond. If I had to go back at 6 weeks, I would make it work but it would have been miserable, by 10 weeks it would have been totally doable, but 12-13 weeks was enough to convince me that I never wanted to be a SAHM and I was happy to return to work.

I'm planning to do the same this pregnancy.

Want a personalized experience?

Question for working STMs

Re: Question for working STMs

Choose Another Board

Search Boards