Attachment Parenting

I'm new here, need advice

I've been lurking here for a few weeks and need some advice if someone has any,

My daughter is 9 months old and formula fed, she doesn't sleep through the night and still wakes up 2-3 times a night for bottles. Up until a few days ago we were all sleeping together in a family bed, me, my husband, our 12 year old daughter and our 9 month old daughter. My husband wanted to move my 12 year old to her own room which we did, fine and put the baby in her crib, no dice! I'm not comfortable with the CIO method but will try it if necessary. My question is, has anyone successfully went from co sleeping to baby in the crib in her own room without using the CIO method? We been playing musical beds for a week and no one sleeps, how do I stop the nighttime feedings as my pediatrician says she no longer needs them and get everyone sleeping through the night without making the baby scream for a week?
I'm new to all of this because I coslept with my older daughter up to a year and a half ago because it was just her and I.

Thanks in advance for any advice

Re: I'm new here, need advice

  • It seems that no matter what course of action you take there will be a period of adjustment. CIO is not the worst way to go. I hope you figure it out mama!
  • 3JTMom said:

    It seems that no matter what course of action you take there will be a period of adjustment. CIO is not the worst way to go. I hope you figure it out mama!

    Thank you!

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  • 3JTMom said:

    It seems that no matter what course of action you take there will be a period of adjustment. CIO is not the worst way to go. I hope you figure it out mama!

    Wait wait wait...I had to double check. This IS the attachment parenting board, right? :-?
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  • @MagFranklin13‌ Sounds to me like you have two separate questions:

    1. How can I space my 9mo old's night feedings more?
    2. How can I gently transition my 9mo old to her own sleeping space?

    I would choose which is more important to you and work to change that first, instead of expecting baby to change her eating and sleeping habits all at once. The more gentle the transition, the easier on everyone. :)

    What kind of spacing between feedings would you find appropriate? Would you be ok with one fewer feeding, such that she would give you a 4-5 hour stretch of sleep and need a bottle 2-3 hours prior to that stretch and 2-3 hours after it? You might find that when baby wakes, soothing her in other ways than offering a bottle will help to space feedings a bit.

    You could try bouncing or rocking her, rubbing her back and humming or singing, or snuggling her close FIRST, and have the bottle available as a backup for if she won't go back to sleep (which probably means she actually IS hungry and so should get that bottle). At the next waking, try the other soothing methods first again and offer the bottle when the others don't work. At some point, she'll begin to settle for snuggles and whatever else as an alternative to food when she wakes, and she may even begin to wake less (though not necessarily...).

    As for changing her sleeping space, you could help her become accustomed to her crib by sidecarring it against the bed, so that you can bedshare some and have her sleep in her own space some for a while, and once she becomes used to sleeping just in the crib, move it to its own space in your room and reattach the removable side:

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    You could also try rocking her to sleep, or wearing her in a carrier and walking until she's asleep, and work on transferring her to the crib once she's asleep. Some moms like to use "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" for gently teaching their babies how to sleep alone.

    There's no reason IMO that you should have to CIO in order for your LO to learn to sleep in her own space. There are LOTS of gentle alternatives that just take a little more time and compassion. Good luck!
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  • Thank you @Emerald27‌ , last night we tried putting her in the crib next to our bed exactly like the picture shows, she cried for 2 hours and threw up for 1 whole hour. She crawled out and snuggled next to my husband and fell asleep soundly the rest of the night. I just learned that the pediatrician doesn't know what's best for me and my family I do! So we will continue to cosleep and feed her when necessary. I also am in search of a new dr one who understands not everyone parents the same and by the book. Thank you for the advice
  • We didn't do the co-sleeping thing on a regular basis....

    But after co-sleeping for 2 weeks on vacation (long story) we found the only way we could get him to sleep in his crib was to let him fall asleep in our bed with one or both of us lying next to him, and then move him to the crib.
    It took a few days and then he finally started being ok with going to sleep in his crib without starting in our bed.  Basically we had to get him super-tired to do this, but we were also trying to get him past his jet lag.
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