Explaning to 3y/o where babies come from?

HailsMom · September 2014

I know it's coming, but I still don't know how I am going to handle it. Hailey knows that her baby brother is in my belly, but I am waiting for her to ask how he is going to get out. What do we say to a 3y/o? I'm on the fence between telling her the truth, or making something up "appropriate" for her age. Up until now I have been pretty straight forward with how we answer her questions and use anatomically correct terms for body parts (though we do use bum). I just don't think I want her thinking that a stork is bringing her brother. Ugh! Part of me thinks this would just be easier if I had or planned to have a C-Section so I could just say that the Dr cut him out, but the hope is for a vaginal birth. I can just imagine her pretending to have a baby after that discussion.

jennjilljo · September 2014

Maybe you can say you go to the hospital, the doctor takes the baby out and you get to bring the baby home afterwards. After that, cross your fingers and pray she doesn't ask for details. DS is too young for this question but I'm trying to think what I would tell him.

krispy83 · September 2014

jennhillhoite said:

Maybe you can say you go to the hospital, the doctor takes the baby out and you get to bring the baby home afterwards. After that, cross your fingers and pray she doesn't ask for details. DS is too young for this question but I'm trying to think what I would tell him.

This is my plan if/when DS asks. He knows his baby sister is growing in Mommy's tummy, and he's asked about playing with her, etc. after she comes out. He hasn't gotten to the point of asking HOW that will happen, but he's an incredibly curious kid so I anticipate that the question is coming at some point.

natsgirl12 · September 2014

Our DD will be 3 when this baby is born. We've talked about it and plan to tell her the truth if she asks. Not a ton of detail but we aren't going to make something up. We use correct terms for body parts in our house and won't lie to her about how a baby is born.

HailsMom · September 2014

@natsgirl12 how much detail are you planning on going into? The best I can come up with is that we tell her that baby will come out of Mommy's vagina, but is that too much? Especially since I know the next thing that will happen is that she will start to pretend that she is having a baby and will even pretend it is coming out of her vagina. I want to find the line between giving truthful information and not giving too much information to her for her age.

MrsTucker2011 · September 2014

Babies come out of belly buttons. Right???

I know there are some small child friendly books out there. Maybe stop by the bookstore and pick one out to read when she asks?

buckeyemomma · September 2014

My 3 year old sister thinks that babies are "tooted" out. My mom and I think that since she figured out on her own the general area of where the baby comes out and that there is at least some force used to push it out, we don't need to explain further unless she asks.

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HerHighness · September 2014

I straight up told her that the baby comes out my peepee and that she also came out my peepee. My daughter is almost 5 and smart as a tack so your mileage may vary. She pretty much said okay and went to sleep.

Now asking how the baby got there,,,, that she hasnt asked yet and I'm not ready for that conversation.

HailsMom · September 2014

What @herhighness, you don't want to tell her that daddy put her and baby in your belly?

thegoodpotato · September 2014

I was 3 when my sister was born, and had absolutely no interest in how the baby got in there or how it was getting out. I just knew my mom was going to the hospital to have the doctor take the baby out. I'm hoping that's about as much as Marnie needs.

We've watched "A Baby Story" together, so she understands the general area that the baby comes out, but has also surmised that it might come out like a poop.

Hopefully she's not more curious this time around (she was 2yo and barely communicating when I had Amanda).

HerHighness · September 2014

HailsMom said:

What @herhighness, you don't want to tell her that daddy put her and baby in your belly?

Heck no... She would demand to know how. Lol. It totally flashes me back to the book my mom read to my brother and i before my other brother was born. I was probably about her age at the time and they called it a special kind of hug and went in detail. I wanted to know what was so special about it. I still remember this 30 years later lol.

AngieAn · September 2014

My answer was really simple. I told her that I was going to the hospital and that the doctor was going to take the baby out. She nodded and ran off. Later that day my mom came over for dinner and she asked her also, but asked her also where the baby came out. Luckily my mom had 3 c-sections so she told her that the doctor had taken us all out of her tummy. Thankfully i never got that much questioning. My two are 13 and 9 now so they understand.

crabigator · September 2014

I bought The Baby Tree for my kid (also 3) as soon as we told her we were having a baby, and I never looked back. I love it and she LOVES it -- for weeks, it was the only book she'd request to read at bedtime.

Basically, it follows this little boy in that situation -- his parents say they're having another baby, but he's unsure as to how it's going to happen, so he asks all the people he knows, who all give him different bits of info (from a seed, at the hospital, a stork drops your baby off, from an egg), which confuse him mightily. Then he asks his parents and they tell him this:

For our family, this mix of straightforward, but not clinical, is exactly right for us, and I swear to god, this is my daughter's favorite page -- she literally will read aloud the ends of each line with me, so I say "from inside..." and she'll say with me, "their mommy, says Mommy!" and then I'll say "they start off..." and we'll say together, "really tiny, says Daddy!" It's practically toothache-inducing, it's so sweet.

So, I know I'm gushing, but I can't believe how well it worked out for us -- I'm still not sure, of course, how she's going to react when the actual baby is here, but this level of explanation really worked for her age level & understanding. There's also a page at the end with some age-appropriate answers to any additional questions they may have: how long does it take, how does the baby come out, twins, adoption, etc.

Edited to make the link open in a different tab

jennasnipes · September 2014

As far as how baby got there, I always tell my class of three year olds that mommy and daddy love each other so Much, all that love spilled over and made a baby! Always seems to do the trick.

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nauticalmama · September 2014

My five year old niece asked how the baby got in there and I said "When you love your husband very much and want a baby, it grows in your tummy." Her response "Uncle Sean shoved it up there, right?" LOL!!! I just said "Yep, that's right." I definitely think less is more when explaining to kids, they will draw their own conclusions.

maryxc1 · September 2014

I told my two year old DS that when the baby gets big enough, Mommy is going to go to the hospital and the doctor will help me get the baby out of my tummy. It's completely true but not too much detail for a preschooler.

MapleMomma · September 2014

@crabigator‌ that book looks perfect! I'll have to remember that for when baby 2 or 3 comes.. We are very careful to be anatomically correct with my nieces (per their parents request), so pretty much my kids will learn it either way and I'd rather they learn from dh and I.

natsgirl12 · September 2014

HailsMom said:
@natsgirl12 how much detail are you planning on going into? The best I can come up with is that we tell her that baby will come out of Mommy's vagina, but is that too much? Especially since I know the next thing that will happen is that she will start to pretend that she is having a baby and will even pretend it is coming out of her vagina. I want to find the line between giving truthful information and not giving too much information to her for her age.

LOL! Too true. That will totally happen. Exactly what we tell her depends on how much she asks. I'm okay with telling her the baby comes out of my vagina though (DH is okay with this too)...if it gets that far. And if she pretends that happens to her, oh well. It'll be cute. And she'll move onto the next thing at some point.

Right now she says she had a baby in her tummy. So it has to get out somehow, right?

Paleomama · September 2014

Tell him baby comes out of the mommy hole

Paleomama · September 2014

But seriously, my son is almost 6 and I am really open about how things work. I bought a book called making baby animals. Here is one of the pics in the book. It gets the point across.

jmcgra06 · September 2014

HerHighness said:

HailsMom said:

What @herhighness, you don't want to tell her that daddy put her and baby in your belly?

Heck no... She would demand to know how. Lol. It totally flashes me back to the book my mom read to my brother and i before my other brother was born. I was probably about her age at the time and they called it a special kind of hug and went in detail. I wanted to know what was so special about it. I still remember this 30 years later lol.

Our book described an orgasm as "a special feeling, kind of like a sneeze, only much nicer."

I think about it often when I start to sneeze and can't. I hate whoever wrote that book.

jmcgra06 · September 2014

Paleomama said:

But seriously, my son is almost 6 and I am really open about how things work. I bought a book called making baby animals. Here is one of the pics in the book. It gets the point across.

I feel like the thing I hate about cats is they always have WAY TOO MUCH EYE CONTACT!! Why is that cat staring me down while she is birthing? Why is my cat always locked in a gaze while spending way too much time licking her butt?

WHY!?

rainbowbrite22 · September 2014

My almost six year old has soooo many questions. We were pretty straightforward with the answers without being too detailed. He asked how I would feed the baby and I told him my breasts would make milk. He asked how we got the baby and we said daddy put it there. He wanted to know how it would come out and I said it could come out of my tummy or from my privates since boys and girls are different.

Paleomama · September 2014

jmcgra06 said:

Paleomama said:

But seriously, my son is almost 6 and I am really open about how things work. I bought a book called making baby animals. Here is one of the pics in the book. It gets the point across.

I feel like the thing I hate about cats is they always have WAY TOO MUCH EYE CONTACT!! Why is that cat staring me down while she is birthing? Why is my cat always locked in a gaze while spending way too much time licking her butt?

WHY!?

You just made me laugh so much. My dh keeps asking me what I am laughing about. Love this thread.

Amee12 · September 2014

My SS thinks my belly will explode when his brother is ready to come out and that his cousin Grace came out of his aunts belly button. Both his own conclusions. As for how the baby got their we told him we really wanted to give him a sibling to play with so we asked God for one. And that's working so far, he's 5.

rebecca20scherrer · September 2014

For me it's a simple answer because my babies can't come the "regular way" so I can tell my almost three year old the cold honest truth "dr (insert name of doc cause DD knows her well) will make a hole in mamas belly and get baby sister out to come and see us"

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