February 2015 Moms

Terrified!

MichaelaMTPMichaelaMTP member
edited July 2014 in February 2015 Moms
I have always been terrified at the thought of giving birth, yet I know it's the only way I'll have a family of my own. My fear has diminished slightly, but is anyone else scared? I feel like it's taboo to talk about being afraid of delivery. Everyone woman I know seems to be so strong and make it seem like such a breeze.

I think it would make me feel better to know I'm not alone in my fears.

Thanks for listening!

Re: Terrified!

  • Mom2DrGMom2DrG member
    edited July 2014
    Lots of women have this fear. There is a whole thread about fears from yesterday (?). I can't link because I'm mobile but I think you would find some comfort there :-)
    ~I give up. No siggie for me~
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  • When I was a FTM I was terrified of delivery. This is my second, and while I know I can do this and some things to expect, I am still a little scared. Labor and delivery is unpredictable and I don't handle pain well.
  • I can totally relate to the fear. This is my second pregnancy but my fear is that this birth experience will be the same or similar as my experience with my daughter.
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  • Search for the thread "Topic-I'm afraid of..." about 4 pages back. You're not alone. ;)
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  • I'm very apprehensive too as I was very young when I had my daughter. I'm probably going to do hypo birthing classes to feel a bit calmer and more in control ...
  • Giving birth is scary but my first one went so well I feel better this time around. I was terrified at first though. I didn't know anything at first but I knew when it was time and I was incredibly calm as I got ready to go to the hospital. I was there for 10 hours, then spent 2 pushing and it was over, I had my baby.
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  • It is scary, but by the time you reach 38-40 weeks, you will be so ready to give birth. I was almost grateful for the discomfort at the end of my first pregnancy because I was too uncomfortable and ready to push DS out to be afraid.
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  • I'm scared and this will be baby #2. It's nerve wracking, cause you don't know what could happen. But it's the most amazing experience you'll ever encounter. Try not to stress about it! You will surprise yourself when it's baby time!
  • It's scary to think about, but when you're going through it it's one minute at a time. I remember a nurse telling me that very contraction I had was one less that I was going to have and that really helped me throughout it. Plus, I felt really kick ass when I was done :)
    "Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight."
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  • People LOVE to share their birth horror stories. My first was hard, but I was surrounded by medical professionals watching every aspect of my well-being and although in the moment it seemed long, it was really just a blip on the radar. No matter how hard it gets, it will pass and be over before too long! :) 

    My second was a breeze. I joke that the hardest part was having to skip lunch. No joke. 

    And, of course, it's worth it! A small price to pay!
    Son #1: 12.27.08 (6 years)
    Son #2: 02.06.12 (2.5 yrs)
    Baby #3 due: 02.10.15 (It's a girl!)
    GD with all three pregnancies

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  • I am more scared this time than I was for my first, because now I know what it is like.
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  • Thank you all so much for your advice and support. It truly did help diminish some fear. I'm counting on just being over being pregnant when the time comes. Haha!
  • I've been though it once and still worry that things could go wrong or the pain is horrible. I promise you it will all be okay and you will forget how horrible it is when it's over. After baby number one I remember telling my mom I ended up loving it so much that I was excited to do it all again. It really makes you feel amazing. End rant...probably doesn't even make sense
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  • Im scared to death of birth, but I know I'll be in good hands, my hubby will be right there with me along with my mom, and it'll only be a few hours of pain. The end result will be so worth it! You got this! :-)
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  • I was 41 weeks when my labor was induced. I was so miserable and I hated the world so much I was ready to get the baby out of me. what helped a lot, IMO, was the hospital and nurses were phenomenal and helped me relax. my nurses even made me laugh while I was pushing. I suffer from severe anxiety and severe panic disorder so I completely understand what you're feeling. I know everyone and every birth is different but when I was experiencing it it was much more manageable than I thought. I only pushed during contractions so I wasn't exhausted, the epidural needle burned but didn't hurt (they numb the area). don't watch the birthing shows on TLC, you will completely freak out. good luck
  • I was too, but as prior posters have said, when the time comes, you'll be so ready for it!  It may not go entirely according to your plan, but either way, you'll be ready to meet your little one.  

    When I gave birth I noticed I had two diagnoses on my discharge papers - first was full term labor (of course), second was "possible anxiety?"  I was so annoyed!  Of course I was a little anxious - I was a FTM!  

    I'm hoping this time my discharge papers will say: (1) full term labor; (2) total pro ;)
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  • I try to avoid all birthing images and shows. I don't need anymore visuals than the ones I already have in mind. :) 
  • I'm actually not all that scared about the actual birth process. I prefer to thing of it as sensations rather than pain.  One thing that I know is different for me this third time is that I meditated a lot now and I know I can put myself into that trance state where pain is diminished and I am more focused and calm.  The odd thing is that fear actually makes pain worse.  If you've ever heard people talk about getting a tattoo, or have one, how much pain you actually experience all depends on your tolerance and mindset to pain.  If you are afraid the tattoo will hurt, it probably will hurt worse than it would if you went in calm and open to feeling the sensations of getting a tattoo. I have one on my left shoulder blade.  I sat for 4 hours on a friend's living room floor getting it from someone who was just getting started and wanted practice--at least he was a good artist so my tat doesn't look wonky. I expected a bit of pain, but I wasn't too worried about it. At first it hurt some, then after a half hour I was used to it and I actually dozed off for a while cause the buzz of the gun put me to sleep and I wasn't in pain.  It was only painful when he got to the bony part of the blade at the bottom, and even that was easily tolerable.  

    As for giving birth...with my daughter I had drugs, so for me the most painful part was the blood pressure cuff they had set to auto on my arm. It left red blood lines down my arm for a week. She was my first, the contractions weren't all that bad, but they kept offering me drugs, so I took them with the fear it was going to get so much worse, and if I didn't there wouldn't be time to later.  

    With my son, I was in labor at home for probably 8 hours before I even went to the doctors to be checked. I was simply uncomfortable -- which at 38 weeks that is pretty normal. I thought I needed to poop. lol  Turns out I was already 4-5 centimeters dilated and the doc sent me to the hospital.  The contractions did get worse, went from slightly uncomfortable to about the same pain as some of my worse period cramping, though the nurse was rubbing my back, put me on a birthing ball, and stuck me in the shower, so moving around kind of helped with the pain.  The most pain was crowning. I was terrified I was going to tear. The doc just kept telling me to relax while she massaged my perineum... as soon as his head was out, the pain went away, two more pushes and he was out.  I didn't feel any more contractions even when the placenta was being born.  

    Pain happens. But how we experience it is what matters.  If you laugh your pain reduces naturally. If you feel loved and supported your pain is more bearable. The more you fear the pain the more likely it will be more painful as your body closes up when we are afraid, but when we are fearless we are open -- and we definitely wanted to be like opened up lotus flowers when giving birth! lol  :)  
    Me = 34  DH = 37  DD = 15  DS = 13  Married since 6/21/13 
     Third pregnancy for me, first child for DH. 




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