April 2014 Moms
mammasuzelov
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Sex
mammasuzelov
member
Once upon a time I totally loved sex.. 13 years with the same man and it was just as good as in the beginning.
Then pregnancy happened, with three months of 24/7 nausea followed by 6 months of throwing up daily, I wasn't exactly feeling the heat.
So naturally I thought after A was born that the ole sex drive would come back. I was so very wrong but I thought I'll get there.
Then I took a mirror to my lady bits, bad move.. It was a car wreck down there. Any lingering sexy feeling flew out the window.
For those of you following along, I have been sexless for over a year now, that is until last night. And here's where is gets a bit sad, I hated it, it was sore and painful and awkward. Even with lube it felt like dry dock.
Should I just mourn my sexuality and move on or does it eventually get better.
Edit add: I thought as it had been so long that there would be the return of the O and like angels would sing and shit but in reality I just want to give my vag a hug and tell her it will be ok!
Then pregnancy happened, with three months of 24/7 nausea followed by 6 months of throwing up daily, I wasn't exactly feeling the heat.
So naturally I thought after A was born that the ole sex drive would come back. I was so very wrong but I thought I'll get there.
Then I took a mirror to my lady bits, bad move.. It was a car wreck down there. Any lingering sexy feeling flew out the window.
For those of you following along, I have been sexless for over a year now, that is until last night. And here's where is gets a bit sad, I hated it, it was sore and painful and awkward. Even with lube it felt like dry dock.
Should I just mourn my sexuality and move on or does it eventually get better.
Edit add: I thought as it had been so long that there would be the return of the O and like angels would sing and shit but in reality I just want to give my vag a hug and tell her it will be ok!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Sex
At this point, I could legit lead a 100% abstinent life and be perfectly fine with it. I'm assuming my drive will pick up a bit as I get closer to weaning. I hope so, at least!
I went to a sex shop and got samples of different lubes. They are not all the same. So maybe try a different lube.
But it's normal. Don't beat yourself up. Let your DH know you need some time. But continue to be intimate with loving kisses and snuggles and back rubs. Sex isn't required. Although eventually you'll want it and enjoy it again.
I'd recently had a miscarriage, so as soon as we saw a BFP, I was closed for business. Then we cleared the first tri, and the loss milestone, but DH was scared, I was less than enthused, and we finished the pregnancy sexless.
I delivered a 9lb10oz baby. With shoulder displaysia. Things down south resembled New Orleans post Katrina. I had my 6w appt, and somehow wasn't in much pain. Thought maybe I could do this. I could not, as spending more than 30 minutes of me feet left me feeling like my organs were going to fall out of me.
Maybe 6 months later we went for it. It was not a good time. Tried again with more wine and more lube. It was better, but okay at best. Things stayed like that for a while. Then she weaned and things got much better. even when we were down to just bedtime/wake-up nursing it was pretty much back to normal.
I don't know, initially it seemed like a good idea but I kind of regret it. Today I'm sore, like don't wipe, just dab when you pee sore. I thought about sitting on one of those microwave heat pillows but A was having a no nap day so I didn't get a moment to relax.
I'm so impressed that you all would actually want to do it again and keep at it. I'm not planning on tempting fate again right away.
I was the same way... 8 month dry spell. We broke the seal 2 weeks ago. I was scared, hubby was careful and well, I'm glad it's over. We did it again on Saturday and it was 100x better. You just have to get over the hump!
Edit: hit send before I was done... Kind of like sex these days