Getting called out

mpedigo29 · September 2014

Ugh! Why do people think it is ok to call someone out who they think is pregnant? We have a large group of friends who we hang out with almost every weekend and I have had numerous people try to call me out for not drinking. I drank bottled root beer in a koozie all night so no one noticed until I grabbed a bottle of water- can't a girl hydrate? I play it off but I just want to snap - yes I'm 7 weeks pregnant, my family has a history of miscarriages in the first trimester and we are even MORE high risk because we are expecting twins, so sorry I don't brief you on my medical history every time I see you. Does this happen to anyone else? How do you play it off? Maybe it is the hormones but I am just so fed up! =;

lgsdesigner · September 2014

Just look at them like they're crazy and say "Ummm...maybe YOU'RE pregnant, lightweight. You only had 4 beers tonight. Get on it!"

KMIN6 · September 2014

I can't play it off at all. My BFF knew within 5 minutes... I contemplated not going because I knew we'd get called out. But then I also figure they'd be there to support us if something did happen anyway...

DawnLilly · September 2014

People like to know things they are not supposed to know. My step MIL one time swore up and down I was pregnant. She knew it, just knew it. She was making a big scene and telling everybody she has a knack for knowing things like this. I wasn't pregnant. I rarely smoke but I grabbed her pack, lit one, told her I wasn't pregnant but that she had just dropped herself to the very bottom of the inform list when/if we did decide to have another.

If you wanted people to know you would tell them. I find it extremely rude and juvenile when people call someone out on anything like this.

Ndracer · September 2014

That's why I've avoided so many situations lately. Afraid I'll be called out. I honestly think we will end up telling before 12 weeks. I'm do bloated I look pregnant. I'm sick all the time. Plus people knew we wanted a baby. So not hard for people to guess. But we are having twins too and I have a history of early loss so I just want to get past next ultrasound.

mamajama3 · September 2014

I hear ya sister! I had a waitress almost blow my cover making comments out loud when I was at a brewery with family drinking Sprite. I've been a hermit for the past couple of months to avoid anyone finding out (my tummy is bigger too) and am terrified of friends finding out at a wedding I'm going to soon (I normally enjoy my wine so I know they'll know something's up when I am having water all night). I'm even thinking of bringing watered down Apple juice with me in a bottle in my purse and pouring it into my wine glass so no one is the wiser (nice move with the koozie btw- I'll have to try that). What I am telling people who ask about the not drinking is that my doc said if I really want to get pregnant I should cut out caffeine and alcohol to optimize my fertility- this has worked so far with a couple of friends as they all know we are trying. My friends either believed me or they just kindly played dumb. I have a clot that puts me a bit of a risk so I too don't want to reveal until 12+ weeks either- it's hard out here for a preggo!

bytemeh · September 2014

I've tried to go into hiding so I don't get called out. I've had two weird instances. One when we went grocery shopping and the cashier said "you're expecting aren't you?" and I just looked shocked. He said, he had a knack for these things and went on to predict I would have another girl! Then a co-worker just announced she was pregnant with identical twins. When she told me about it, she said she had a dream I was pregnant too! I think I looked shocked then too and tried to play it off. I'm counting down the days to my 8 week appointment on the 29th! (@lgsdesigner - Good to see you in here! I remember you from the TTC after 35 board

!!)

mpedigo29 · September 2014

You guys are making me feel a lot better!

@mnmarcy‌ my husband and I are pretty big drinkers (or were big drinkers, with twins on the way I doubt I will see a hangover for 10 years) we had two weddings in a row- before out first dr apt. It was so hard- our friends had everyone do a shot fireball instead of a toast with champagne. Yikes! Try slipping a bottle of fre wine to a bartender or waitress, they sell all over the place. https://www.frewines.com/shop or a coke with a lime has worked for me too. Good luck! Let me know how it goes!

Pumpkin_Princess · September 2014

People are just really nebby, and everyone gets excited about a baby, especially your friends. On my unit, you can't be a woman of childbearing years and just be sick/nauseated. Fifteen people will have asked you by the end of the day if you're pregnant. A co-worker called me out yesterday because I told her that I was having an off day (scatterbrained). It was the worst with DD. I told my supervisor that I was pregnant because I had to for safety reasons. Well she took it upon herself to announce in the lunch room that "someone" was pregnant. At the time, it was a pretty short list of possibilities. So of course I had people coming up to me with a copy of our schedule (list of employees) telling me that I was the only one it could be.

Good luck keeping it under wraps!

ashtownyeah · September 2014

UGH. That is so annoying. I'm verrrrry newly pregnant, so I haven't had to face this yet but I am sure I will. I'm not sure how i'll deal with it, but I think I'll probably just laugh it off. We plan to keep things pretty hush hush until second tri.

mabrams28 · September 2014

I think my friends are onto me too. I haven't been drinking the last few times I've been out and we also have a large group of friends that we usually hang out with on a regular basis. I've used the excuse that we r thinking about trying soon so I'm cutting back but I can't wait for our first us appointment in about ten days when I'll be 7 to 8 weeks along and we can finally share the news!

Skk1977 · September 2014

That's really annoying and rude!

melodysmommy09 · September 2014

I have. Coworker that keeps saying it simply because I refused to eat at the luncheon we had because it was all deli meat. So now every times she sees me she says things like you look pale are you sick to your stomach? Or Ashley's pregnant! If I wanted everyone to know id tell them myself! Makes me want to punch her in the face.js lol I just tell her I don't know what she's talking about and that I'm fine.

melodysmommy09 · September 2014

Oh and I actually had a coworker tell me she thought I was pregnant or was going to be very soon because she dreamt that she saw me at work walking down the hall with a big belly. How crazy is that?

mpedigo29 · September 2014

Haha @sheveen2009‌, it's nice that he is trying to help

And I just found out some of our friends went through our cooler last night and said something to DH about the root beer I had in there! Good lord people there is no grand prize for calling someone out!

Lauracox3 · September 2014

I think many people don't realize the emotional roller coaster that we go through. Especially those who have not been pregnant before. I am the first of many of my friends to get pregnant. I myself did not realize how nervous and protective I would be about making sure my baby is healthy before telling everyone the great news. (Especially because a close friend just miscarried.) I just brush it off kindly when asked and say I'm doing a cleanse from alcohol. Any excuse I can think of really. A lot of times people don't realize how hard it is during the first couple weeks. I just stay strong my plan to not tell anyone until I am sure the baby is healthy, and politely brush off the (sometimes abrasive) interrogations.

mrs2mommy92 · September 2014

I already got called out at work. Not for throwing up or anything obvious...apparently I LOOKED TIRED and everyone started asking if I'm pregnant. I feel bad lying to them, but at the same time I'm only four weeks and don't plan on spilling the beans any time soon. I get irrationally angry with them because it's like they're unknowingly blowing my cover haha.

millerdk87 · September 2014

I'm in the same boat! My co-workers are already convinced that I'm going to be the next one the get pregnant, so I get joking comments from them all the time. I just laugh them off.

This is my first pregnancy and we chose not to tell anyone that we were trying. I didn't want people pestering me about it, especially if we ended up having trouble getting pregnant at all, or if (God forbid) a miscarriage happened. My best friend knows and both sets of our parents know, but we are trying to wait until after our 8 week appointment on the 29th before we tell the rest of our close friends and family, and probably the full 12 weeks before we announce it to the world.

We had a wedding a couple of weeks ago and a lot of friends were there. It was the weekend after I even found out I was pregnant, so I carried around a glass of wine most of the night, pretending to sip off of it, and then passed it off to the DH later. Hardest part so far has been that it's now college football season and we do a lot of watch parties and tailgates with friends. I LOVE that bottled root beer idea. One time was a morning game, so I just played it off that it was too early to be drinking. I've also used the excuse that I'm on an antibiotic, so I can't drink, but you can only use that one so many times, lol.

It's kind of obnoxious to have to lie about it, but it's nobody's business until you are ready to tell them

aprilb29 · September 2014

The root beer in a koozie is genius! Whenever I need to play off not drinking I pretend to be hungover from the night before... It doubles as a nice cover for nausea too.

DH and I are planning to break the news around 10 weeks though... A little earlier than we would like but I have 2 bachelorette trips and 2 weddings at the end of the month and would rather people find out before instead of during.

anydots55 · September 2014

Thankfully, I work from home most days so that's an easy way to dodge the co-worker speculations. However, I have plans with friends this weekend to do a whiskey tour at a local distillery (I know, of all things). DH and I decided to just tell them I'm the designated driver and hopefully they buy that. Really trying to go into hibernation until 12w to avoid being called out. We'll see...fingers crossed!

shirleymaeby · September 2014

I work with a girl who got pregnant in April and told everyone in July right after her 13 week u/s. She admitted afterward to making up the most ridiculous excuses to miss work/leave early for her early appointments and I didn't blame her. She knows how long we'd been trying and she is incredibly nosy. I told my boss I was having some furniture delivered tomorrow so I needed to work from home and about 5 minutes she later she IMd me saying "Congratulations I guess

" I was like "For what?" She says "Oh, I guess I'm paying too much attention to your schedule."

I probably got more pissed about it than I should have but she is seriously always in everyone's business and she got to keep her secret for the first tri. Why can't she let me?

Edited because punctuation.

awoo22 · September 2014

Yes!!! I face this all the time! Especially because I play fantasy football and drink weekly with friends at the bar on Sundays. Usually we'll have a couple beers and if I refrain, the first thing out of someone's mouth is, "What are you, pregnant?" I've actually started to cancel plans with friends because we will usually go catch up over drinks. It's painful waiting out the first trimester under these circumstances!

AnnikaSkywalker · September 2014

I've had a few friends that insist I'm pregnant every time I get ill, even when I hadn't had sex in well over a year. Some people just like to be confrontational. Now that I've seen and heard the heartbeat for a few weeks in a row, I let close friends know. I also let them know that I had an IUD, alluding that I'm high risk and they'll feel like a jerk if they tell others and I have a miscarriage. So far, all my friends have been good about keeping it a secret and just being there for me. Make sure that your friends know there's still a risk of miscarriage and their nagging isn't going to help you at. Also, it's not their body, not their business. They need lives of their own.

kerris713 · September 2014

A few people I work with have asked me and I've been able to say no or I don't know. At the end of the day I don't really have an issue lying to people I would rather not share personal information with. My family on the other, I can't hold a straight face to save my life.

katiebug66 · September 2014

A girl who works at my doctor's office saw me at church and said "Congratulations". I hugged her up close and said "We aren't telling yet." She is a front desk person but you would think she would know better with HIPPA and all.

I made an earlier post about my BFF having the vibe but she wasn't trying to call me out.

I think I will be able to hide somewhat ok because I have had stomach issues my whole life. Also, this is my third and I had made it well known during my son's hospital stay that now 3 was off the table.

However, I will have to start telling soon bc we are going to a brewery tour on an upcoming work trip. Thankfully it is after my ultrasound so that is when we would have started telling anyway. Just trying to figure out how to tell my kids without them telling my family (even though it will just be a one day gap of time).

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