Post D&C questions

rwaggoner12 · September 2014

Hi there
My H and I were told about our miscarriage about 3 weeks ago and as of Monday my d&c will have been two weeks ago.
I thought I was doing pretty well, had a funeral the same week so I got to be around family and cry with it judgement. We didn't really talk more than moral support. And then...because God is super funny...I threw a baby shower for me bestie the Saturday before my D&C. So I got to see my best girlfriends later over drinks and cried then.
Went back to work the week later and then left for China which is where I am now.
So I've cried a bit and got to the point where I felt I could talk about it without getting emotional. Then the spotting stopped and life felt semi normal.
Two days ago the brown spotting came and so did a wave of emotions all over again. I'm out in public with babies turning my head so I can cry. I'm watching emotional things on TV and ugly crying in my bed.
What is this?! Is this my hormones? Does this mean I haven't really processed this?
Feeling pretty alone dealing with this halfway around the world, any advice or stories would help so much!

ctk181 · September 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think what you are feeling is completely normal. You have suffered a devastating loss. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the time you need to grieve. Unfortunately there is no timeline that anyone can give you where you will start to feel better but time does ease the pain. I am 1 month out from my D&C and still have days where seeing a baby or a pregnant woman can send me into a crying fit but it is definitely less frequent than it used to be. Hang in there. It does get better. In the meantime be patient with yourself.

meredithcarole · September 2014

A common misconception is that people "get over" miscarriages quickly. Prior to experiencing one it is hard to comprehend how it lingers. It does get better over time, but you will always be aware part of you is missing. I am almost 7 months on since mine and as my EDD approaches I find that again I am struggling with the grief. So allow yourself to feel it and talk about it. If you need further support seek out a counselor. It is the loss of a child, even if you never got to meet that child.

rwaggoner12 · September 2014

Thank you @ctk181‌
Thank you as well @meredithcarole‌ but I also wanted to say I feel for you as well. That date lingers in my mind at all times and doesn't help I made it my work password for my computer. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, praying for strength and peace during this difficult time.

DanandVan · September 2014

You are going through so much! Just the jet lag alone would be enough to throw you off. And yes, those pg hormones stay are still with you. I didn't realize how long it would take for my hormones to get back to normal. I had to get bloodwork done for like 6 weeks before the levels went down. I think it is so cruel that we have to go through this WHILE our hormones make us extra emotional. Just awful. So sorry for your loss.

FigureSkater8 · September 2014

So sorry for your loss. I wanted to say I'm sorry you're experiencing this also while being overseas in an unfamiliar place. I travel a lot and Iv'e had my share of health issues while traveling. It is just stressful to be traveling and wondering what's going on with your body (or mind). I also know when I'm in hotel rooms I can get to over-analyzing and worrying more so than I do at home.

All that being said, I think it's completely normal that you're feeling this way. This just happened recently and you are definitely still processing it. Give yourself plenty of time to feel however you do each and every day...there are no time limits on this. Hugs.

tamlynd · September 2014

I agree with all the other ladies, you are allowed to feel this way x your hormones are still going crazy in your body, and what's worse is that you are alone in another country. No hubby physically there to lean on or to hug and cry to. Talking over the phone is completely different. Try and Rest when you can. You have also most likely been so busy after the loss, that you actually didn't have time to stop and take care of your own feelings and they are catching up on you xxx take it easy hun, you are doing the best you can. Cry as much as you need to. Xxx we are here for you too xxx
I'm still all up and down... seem to be managing for 2 or 3 days and then am a mess... I do feel that my body is starting to hormonally settle down a bit, although I haven't had hgc blood count tests done and I haven't built up the courage to do a home preg test. Too scared to see if it still says positive or is now negative. Bought tests last weekend but still haven't done them.
My skin isn't doing too well post mc, definitely seems to have been affected by the hormones and stress and changes. Xxx

thinking of you x

God Bless xxx

kyliehopeful · September 2014

@tamlynd my skin is also terrible post d&c, it's been so dry and washed out

tamlynd · September 2014

I know Kylie. Just been for a soothing facial ,it is definitely hormonal and the way our bodies excrete these hormones that we so wish we still had along with our babies.Especially along my jaw bone and just under. Xxx patience I guess... xxx

kyliehopeful · September 2014

A facial sounds good, it's mostly under my jaw and neck too. It's sad feeling the hormones leaving and at the same time I keep telling myself that atleast it means my body is recovering. I'm just so scared that it will happen again as each time I miscarry another part of me dies inside.

tamlynd · September 2014

sorry Kylie. That is the sad part. Knowing that the hormones are going out , again reminds us that its over. She definitely said that the area where we have a problem now is hormonal. Im trying to drink as much water to let my body clear up naturally. That was my first miscarriage and I too feel that a little part of me is gone. I would hate to repeatedly feel like this. I'm so sorry you have been through more than one loss. Don't lose hope xxx I know it sounds easy for me to say... but try not to x May God bless you and hubby and with a healthy body

and a healthy baby that you can deliver at full term... so that you'll get you precious child to hold and care for forever. Xxx this is my prayer for all of us here xxx

kyliehopeful · September 2014

Thanks for your kind words

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