Will I ever sleep again?

MelanieCSU · September 2014

My little man is now 1 week and 6 days old. DH and I are not getting any sleep, at least not in the same bed at the same time. We are both on the verge of exhaustion. Little man just does not want to sleep in his pack n play, his crib, or his bassinet. The only way to get him to sleep is his bouncer. I'm have done a lot of research on safe sleep but everything I have read does not seem to work right now. Little man refuses to sleep on his back even though it is recommended that he sleep on a flat surface. It is also recommended not to use any blankets. Well with little man being a preemie he does not have the body fat to keep warm without being swaddeled and a light blanket over him, yet again not recommended. I did try the smallest sleep sack that I could find but its still way to big on him and he got very cold in it. Any advice would be great on how I could get little man to sleep while still keeping him safe would be much appreciated.

TheOtherJacobsons · September 2014

Maybe I am doing it all wrong, but I took my cues from the hospital. They swaddled her and rolled a blanket under one side to prop her up a little. This is how we put our girl to bed at night.

HappyCianci · September 2014

A tight swaddle is compatible with safe sleep, but a blanket is not. What makes you suspect he's still cold, even with the swaddle? Babies can also overheat, so be aware of that.

Sorry you're not getting enough rest... we'll all be joining you soon.

ch3rry · September 2014

I say do what you need to do to get some sleep! DS1 sometimes would only sleep in his swing or bouncer. Sometimes he'd only sleep ON me. It took time before he'd sleep flat in his crib. (And he was swaddled every night until he started to roll over.)

Also, there's nothing wrong with swaddling safely! If you think he might be cold still, you can layer footie pj's & a onesie under his swaddle. You want to dress them a layer warmer than you are.

Anyway you & your husband can switch off in shifts to get more sleep? It's so rough until they start sleeping more than 3+ hours at a stretch. Sleep deprivation is the worst! My mom watched DS1 last time overnight every few weeks, so we could both sleep a full night. I realize that's not necessarily a possibility though if you're EBF.

Hang in there! It does get better eventually. But do whatever you've got to do to get LO (& yourself) to sleep at this point. No sleep for you is more dangerous IMO than sleeping in a bouncer for a few hours.

Emerald27 · September 2014

Like PP said, baby can be dressed warmly and the room kept cool. That's a safer sleep environment than a warm room and lightly dressed baby.

Definitely don't try to lay him down until he is super floppy - all the way asleep. If he's still holding his little fists tight or his legs and arms, he's not deeply asleep and will wake up pretty much immediately.

One thing you might try is either you or DH laying on a blanket for a little while to warm it/make it smell like you, and place the warm blanket where you want LO to sleep before transferring him there. Sometimes laying on a cold/cool surface will wake babies up.

DS was a preemie size-wise, but born at 37 weeks, and he like many babies would not sleep unless he was touching me. Our ultimate solution, and one that I both loved and that got me lots and lots of sleep, was to make our bed safe for bedsharing and to sleep with DS. If you would like me to share some info on safe bedsharing, let me know!

Wishing you better sleep soon!

Lindzoid · September 2014

The first few weeks are just about survival in my opinion. Swaddle that baby tight and let him sleep where he will, if it's the bouncer let it be!

Justabean3 · September 2014

when DS 2 had bad reflux the Pedi told me to put him in the carseat, bouncer or swing. she said as long as they are buckled in then it isnt a problem. If they are a tummy sleeper to get a wedge or tilt the mattress slightly angled.

remember there is no right answer.

but my other suggestions are swaddle, and on the cold issue...if their torso and back of neck are warm they are warm. they actually sleep better cooler.

vrj0522 · September 2014

I know the whole thing about not swaddling is new so a lot of hospitals and pedis still recommend it. I personally still believe in it and plan on swaddling my baby. DS slept on a bouncer until he turned 5 months old, at which time we just switched him to his crib. Nothing wrong with that! If that's how they will sleep, then great!

Sounds like the exhaustion and lack of sleep have taken you aback a little, which is normal. Just know that this will pass and eventually your baby will sleep better. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel during the first few weeks but just trust that there is one and that before you know it, things will be better and you'll be getting more sleep. If your H is at home right now, I strongly suggest getting him to watch baby for a couple of hours while you nap in the day and switch off as needed. If he is already back to work, maybe he can do this a few evenings a week for you and you can let him sleep at night. Either way, find a way to get some naps in.

ariel06 · September 2014

My first two were very difficult sleepers. They both had terrible reflux and would only sleep in a bouncer or swing. Neither of them slept more than 2 hour chunks until after they were six months old. It was rough! Rest/sleep whenever he does.

Sleep research seems to always be changing, so if swaddling works for you and baby, I wouldn't worry too much about the most recent research.

slsl509 · September 2014

theresat858 said:

Buy a rock n play. Let baby sleep in it. Use a swaddle over a sleep n play sleeper and he should be warm enough. Some babies won't sleep flat.

This. I know "they" say all sorts of things and ideally yes, a flat surface on their back is ideal but I think it's a lot to ask a new baby who is used to being warm and snug and curled up to sleep flat out on his/her back. Not advising but I will say that putting DD on her side is what finally bought me some sleep. Survival is key and I would argue that two very sleep deprived parents isn't the safest scenario either (I recall falling asleep holding DD) so try different things until you find something that works.

We put DD in her car seat next to a running dryer which was sometimes the only thing that helped her get through the 5-8 pm witching hours.

Nichole7041 · September 2014

My son was born at 5 pounds. I swaddled him then put a light blanket on him that I tucked around him and let him sleep on his back. Ithe first 3 weeks were the hardest but after that things got better!
Do what works best for you and good luck!

Jbunny100 · September 2014

Swaddling tight is just fine. We did that with DS for awhile until we could switch to the Swaddle Me Velcro blankets. Also, our basinet came with an attachment for a slight incline. DS slept in that for the first 2 months to help with his reflux.

Like an earlier post said, wait until they are in a deep sleep - I think it is like 10-20 minutes, before putting him down.

Lastly, invest in a white noise machine. It totally saved us. Swaddle and white noise are the way to go.

Hang in there, the first couple months can be tough especially if you have a low weight baby. We had to wake up every 2 hours to feed DS because he was so small. It was exhausting, but you do learn to get through it especially when you know others are right there with you.

reneenearl · September 2014

Swaddling made the world of difference for DS 1. It gave us a 3 hour stretches at night. The nurses at the hospital taught us how to swaddle and had us swaddle him there at night.

My DH works overnights and sometimes I could not get the swaddle tight enough or to the baby's liking. DH was an awesome swaddlers. We tried a woombie and it was amazing!! So if your not comfortable swaddling , maybe you could try a woombie?

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003OQTPE4?pc_redir=1411213124&robot_redir=1

MelanieCSU · September 2014

Thank you everyone for the great advise. I will definitely try your suggestions. I also have an appointment with his pediatrician on Tuesday. DH and I are very blessed that we have a lot of family/ friend support but getting into a routine is tough especially since DH has to work.

TheOtherJacobsons · September 2014

Nicb13 said:
I have a feeling this is the first of many many posts just like this!

Maybe we should sticky it

melszum · September 2014

DS was a December baby and we always swaddled and put a blanket over him and he was fine. Have you tried the rock n play? It is the best! Also I had a friend who had to sleep in a recliner with her baby on her chest for awhile.

Maggie6424 · September 2014

DS1 had reflux and would only sleep more than a few minutes IF he was in his bouncer and swaddled. We assume it was because the incline helped keep the acid down. Not saying your babe has reflux, but if he will only sleep in the bouncer... then that's where I'd put him. We also learned that a sound machine can work wonders. We had the whale that makes ocean sounds.

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