STM - anxiety about L&D and logistics

Re: STM - anxiety about L&D and logistics

• Jlp12314812 member

  September 2014

  Being nervous is completely normal it doesn't matter if it's your sixth. I'm nervous about learning routines with DD when we're home with LO however my husband will be home first week. After he returns my mother is taking off to help. I'm very thankful my mother has offered her help. It's still different getting our routine figured out. It all will figure itself out is what I keep saying.

  DD born 8/12/11
  DD born 10/3/14
  DD born 10/10/16
  Twin boys due Nov '19

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• HappyCianci member

  September 2014

  I hear you. I'm nervous, too. My kiddo is just about the same age as yours, and is going through a super challenging phase right now. A couple days ago we had a 45-minute meltdown first thing in the morning with a naked, cold, hungry toddler who badly had to pee but refused to accept any of our help or suggestions to take care of his needs. It's scary imagining the same scenario plus a newborn.
  
  As for labor logistics, what kind of childcare do you have lined up? Does your family live close? My FIL will come in the middle of the night if needed, and I have already explained to my son that his grandpa might surprise him one morning at wake-up time, and that means his sister is being born. He seems pretty positive about it.  I'm also packing a bag for him with his clothes, snacks, and a sheet of paper that outlines his basic schedule so that my FIL can approximate the usual mealtimes and sleep times. Finally, I  stocked the freezer with toddler meals so FIL doesn't have to really cook for him.
  
  Getting everything prepped has helped me feel less anxious about leaving unexpectedly. Even if I don't see him for a whole day, I know he'll be with someone he trusts, eating his regular food, and hopefully sleeping in his own bed.
  
  Anyway, you're not alone in your anxiety, but having a good plan helps! Don't be afraid to ask for help just because you've done it all before.

  Me: 31  ~  Copilot: 37  ~  Our son: 3/25/11 ~ Our daughter: 10/5/14
  

  
  

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• megaroo64 member

  September 2014

  I am totally in the same boat. Planning for spontaneous labor and arranging for DS have been stressful. I can't even think about the thought of going early as I don't have as solid plans for that!
  
  I agree with others- ask people for help whether they are offering it up or not. A lot of people in my life assumed that I had this whole new born phase covered, so didn't immediately volunteer to give me a hand. Or people that understood that I would need help were waiting for me to make a plan. People have been more than supportive when I just asked!

   

  Bennett Andrew- 6/4/13      Nora Elizabeth - 10/3/14

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• JessAnnJ member

  September 2014

  My ILs will watch DD at their house, but just making sure she gets dropped off and DH is able to get me to the hospital are definitely stressors for me. In terms of taking care of a newborn, I know what I'm in for so I'm actually more nervous this time knowing how much work it is and that we have to try to keep DDs routine as normal as possible. The people I have talked to have said things are exponentially harder in the beginning with two so it's hard not to have that in the back of my mind. But, I try to tell myself that it will be hard but just like last time it will eventually get easier.

  

  
  

  
  
  
  

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• Starfish17 member

  September 2014

  We don't have any family where we live, so we rely on close friends to help us out a lot.  We had plan for #1 when I was pregnant with #2, but babies prove that despite all the planning they are going to do what they want!  I was induced with #1 so I did not have any prior experience with spontaneous labor. I had gone to the OB with #2 for my 39 week check-up and he said I had at least another week - I ended up going into spontaneous labor that night.  My contractions were not nearly as strong with #2 as they were with #1, so I labored at home for awhile.  When we finally went in, I was fully dilated.  My friend that was going to watch #1 met us at the hospital, but she got there about 5 minutes after #2 was born.  So despite our best laid plans, DS ended up being in the room when I deliver (he was 2.5 years).    DH entertained him by letting him watching some shows on the iPad and I had the nurses as my support.  Having been through the L&D experience previously definitely helped - I was much more comfortable and aware of what's going on.  Our plan this time around is to start planning earlier - making phone calls sooner into labor, and having a short term back up plan for the kids if we need to leave before our friend gets to the house.
  
  With juggling 2 - I work full-time and we had to keep #1 in daycare or else we would lose his spot.  So the first couple months he still went to daycare most days, so I was only focusing on the baby. It also helped #1 to still be on his routine and to know what to expect every day.   DH and I would often split up the other duties (getting ready in the morning/ at bedtime etc) and each of us would  take one kid.  We' alternate so neither felt that they weren't getting attention from the other parent. 
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• shunt1983 member

  September 2014

  I went into early labor we had nothing ready well I just had to call a friend we had 3 at home until someone could get there to help. Try not to worry if you have a plan maybe a nearby neighbor can help out.

  

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• Jbunny100 member

  September 2014

  I could have written this exact original post.  I am most nervous if I end up needing to go to the hospital in the middle of the night because asking a friend to watch DS at 2am makes me feel awful. 

  DH and I are also completely nervous (kind of dreading) the first few weeks when you have to wake up every couple hours to feed the baby and what not.  When it's your first you have no idea what you are getting into, but with the second, you know what's coming.  Don't get me wrong, I am very excited to meet my baby girl, but just get nervous about the sleeplessness and the short tempers DH and I had in the beginning. 

  Glad to know I'm not alone.

   

   

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• hippohat member

  September 2014

  Thanks for the kind words, I'm glad I'm not alone! We do have a plan, or at least a string of loose plans! DD will go to a friend's house (or she'll come here if it's the middle of the night), she's just a few minutes away. My parents will drive down to watch DD at our house as soon as they're able, it's a several hour drive. They'll get her to school and I 100% trust their care, I'm so glad we have them to rely on. 

  
  

  So we have a plan and help lined up for delivery, I just realized over the weekend as I was having contractions every 15 mins. that my friend was out of town and my parents are on their way out of state for the whole week.. my plan wasn't as solid as I thought! 

  
  

  As some of you have stated I'm more worried about the first days home, my milk was very late with DD and we were a train wreck for the first week. DH and I have talked a lot about what to do differently, I hope that we fare better this time. @Jbunny100 - that's exactly what I've said to people, knowing what's coming is what's getting to me!

  
  

  I know it will all work out and that a lot of my worries are just irrational hormones talking (why it's worst at night, I know!) it just feels SO much more out of my control than last time and I didn't see it coming. Thanks again for the support, I really appreciate it!

  p+c 11.6.04  |  +g  2.4.11

    

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• Emerald27 member

  September 2014

  I'm more and more anxious every day, but oddly enough, my anxiety has more to do with leaving DS for a day while I have the baby! I've never been away from him overnight. I'm trying to remember that he'll be with people who love him and will be just fine, but it's tough!
  
  I'm a little apprehensive about labor just because my labor with DS was an induction, so it's fairly new territory to me. I'm not really afraid of the whole caring for a newborn + DS thing, but I am trying to enjoy all the napping I can while I have just one kid to get to nap...I have no expectation that naptime will be easy with two, that they would ever nap at the same time, or that I will be getting my nice 2-hour break every afternoon ever again. Lol

  
  

  
  

  

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• MsMacual member

  September 2014

  I'm in the same boat!  I'm not particularly anxious about the actual l&d, but I'm totally stressed about the logistics.  Our closest family members live 4 1/2-5 hours away and my labor with #1 was 9 1/2 hours.  I was fully dialated after 4 or so hours and pushed for 4.  It is entirely possible that #2 will arrive before someone can get here!
  
  I finally asked my mom to plan to come the weekend before my due date so I'd have someone here as we get into the timeframe when he'll probably arrive.  I'd love to assume that he'll arrive on a week day when our daycare is open, but that is a pipe dream!  All of our friends work so we don't have someone who could help us out and they all live in the area, but not close to our house. 
  
  We're in the thick of potty training and it is going okay, but we still have some work to do.  Our son tends to be pretty reasonable, but he still has his moments and I have a feeling that we're going to have a few rough weeks while he adjusts.  DS#1's 3rd birthday is at the end of October.  I'm planning a special family outing for his birthday and I'll send treats to daycare that day.  His party will be about 10 days after so he'll have a second special day.
  
  I keep reminding myself that stressing about everything is going to make it harder and we'll just need to be as flexible as possible as we work through the transition from a family of 3 to 4. 
  

  

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