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cautiously optimistic

lscarboroughlscarborough member
in Pregnant after a Loss
Hi all!  I've been on a bit of a roller coster in 2014 but things might just be looking up.  I had a miscarriage in March 2014.  I was almost 9 weeks but the baby measured 7-10 days behind where it should have been when the miscarriage was discovered.  I had a D&C the next day and my period resumed almost exactly one month later.  For background info, my periods have always been crazy irregular and following my D&C has been no exception.  While I was in high school my periods stopped for three months and I had to be put on provera to get them started again.  Three years ago the same thing happened and I knew we wanted to start trying to conceive so I went to my OBGYN who started me on provera again and low and behold after not starting a period following the provera I was pregnant.  That was a successful pregnancy and our son is now a little over 2 years old.  Fast forward to this year post miscarriage and I haven't actually had a period since July.  I went to the OBGYN on 8/29 and had a blood draw to check HCG's and was prescribed provera again after my HCG's came back negative.  One week after finishing the provera and not having had any bleeding I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.  This week I STILL had not started so I called the OBGYN and was scheduled for a sonogram and appt. next week to figure out what was going on but they asked me to take a pregnancy test just in case.  I was certain that I wasn't pregnant so I waited a few days and finally decided that maybe I should listen to the doctor.  I took a test and got the shock of my life, the word PREGNANT was staring back at me from a digital test.  It would seem that maybe I didn't ovulate until after the provera wrapped up since I finished that 2.5 weeks ago.  For dating purposes it makes it really hard to know how far along I might be.  So, now a few days after my positive I'm still cautiously optimistic but hopeful that we may be having another little one in 36ish long weeks.

Now that I have another positive test I'm afraid that I'm going to spend the bulk of at least my first tri (if not the whole pregnancy) terrified of losing another baby.  With my miscarriage in March I had some dark spotting and that is what ultimately lead to the sono where we learned we had lost the baby.  Every time I go to the bathroom I'm praying for no spotting and I find myself wanting to go check all the time because I'm scared.  Not sure how to combat that fear.

Hopeful to be joining you all for the long haul.
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