Community› The Bump Month Clubs› June 2014 Moms
June 2014 Moms
New Discussion

Moms with toddlers come in, please!

nunzchucksnunzchucks member
in June 2014 Moms
DD aggressively loves DS. Like always in his face, rolling on him, squeezing his arms and legs and my least favorite, pressing her chin into him really hard. The chin thing makes me angry because she usually does it on the top of his head.


I cannot get her to stop. Time outs are useless and redirection only works for so long. Anyone else going thru this? Anything working for you?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Moms with toddlers come in, please!

  • steprozzsteprozz member
    I would like to hear some ideas too! DS isn't aggressive with B but he gets insanely jealous whenever I'm doing something with B and throws a major tantrum. I try saying things like "big boys don't throw tantrums, they love their brothers" but I don't think DS gives two shits about being a big boy so I usually end up yelling :-< my patience for DS is at it's thinnest and I have no idea how to get it back
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Hairstylist16Hairstylist16 member
    I wish you lots of luck. This is the only problem I don't have, DS could really care less about his sister but the needy pay attention to me and how dare you need to give DD any attention is getting old. I too am finding my patience at a minimum with him which helps greatly with Mom guilt
    Report Reply
  • JNerdJNerd member
    We have been going through this as well @nunzchucks‌.
    We have been working on 'soft touches' and showing DS how it is appropriate to touch Squeaker.
    We also let him hold her when he asks and make a point to be able to cuddle them both.
    Praise for being a good big brother also helps.
    We've also asked him to be my special helper- when they are in the chariot can he giver her her pacifier? And get mommy the wipes- that type thing.
    It seems to be working but isn't perfect.
    ((Hugs))
    Report Reply
  • steprozzsteprozz member
    ah yes special helper! DS does love being the big helper maybe I will try that more
    Report Reply
  • rainbowdashhrainbowdashh member
    S couldn't care less about W until she wants something and W is the reason she has to wait for me. Occasionally she will decide she wants to look at her and will squeeze her feet or arms, but that's about it. We're struggling with her not lashing out at W when she's mad. Today she threw one of those Fischer Price little people at W's head because she was mad. That results in me yelling which makes her more upset.

    So yeah, basically I'm no help but I hope she eases up!
    Report Reply
  • UnknownUnknown
    This content has been removed.
  • RedMarRedMar member
    I don't have a toddler, but am the oldest out of my siblings and can remember having my own "baby" that I cared for. I would mimic what my mother would do with my sister, anything from bathing it to breastfeeding under my shirt (lol). It gave me a responsibility and made me feel important even though it's purpose was for me to steer clear from the real babies.

    Does she have something similar to "look after"?
    Report Reply
  • Read247Read247 member
    My oldest loooooves his baby brother. Sometimes he is a little rough and I remind him to be gentle. I make him my helper with everything! Whatever I do with the baby I make sure he's involved. He hands me diapers, wipes, whatever I need.

    He gets rougher and meaner with me and DH than he does with the baby. Yelling doesn't work for us at all. He just gets louder and angrier. I have to use a calm voice. If I can't get his attention I throw a tantrum to match his and that makes him laugh and snap out of it. If I'm angry we both get a 3 min time out. (3 years = 3 min)
    imageBabyFruit Ticker image
    Report Reply
  • chloephoebecalichloephoebecali member
    The helper thing is your best chance, but honestly the easiest (or not) is keeping baby near you at all times. Your toddler just needs more time to really understand being gentle. My 4 and 3 year olds still need reminders. Little kids in general have control issues and they don't realize (or remember) they are being rough. I wouldn't bother with time outs with this type of behavior. She just needs more time and self control (with age).
    Anna Kate 10.17.2009 Alexander 6.10.2011 Baby Girl 6.2014
    Report Reply
  • nunzchucksnunzchucks member
    @redmar She does have a baby doll. I usually tell her to put her baby down for a nap when I'm putting DS down. Maybe I'll try having a baby doll downstairs, too!
    Report Reply
  • tbmadeamistaketbmadeamistake member
    We also do the baby doll that she cares for...and she's just ad rough with her doll as she'd like to be with charlie. We do a lot of reminding both before and during their interactions. Honestly what had worked best for me is letting her try to figure it out on her own. She squeezes him and I say that will hurt him but don't immediately grab her off (provided he's OK and not being smothered). If I grab her off, she pulls to go back and ends up squeezing him ever harder. She is slowly getting better.

    Married DH 7/30/11

    CSC arrived 5/7/12 

    CHC arrived 6/2/14

    Report Reply
  • nunzchucksnunzchucks member
    Good idea @Lilygrace48‌! I'll stop pulling her off. That seems to make it worse.
    Report Reply
  • misscarter87misscarter87 member
    Im going through the same right now with DD any ideas please
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • MamaTree17MamaTree17 member
    I am so sick of hearing myself say "be gentle"! DD1 is only 2 so it's still difficult to reason with her but she seems to get it if we say things like - you have to back up because when you're so close the baby can't see you. Like someone else mentioned, if we make it negative she just acts out more. Just hearing "no" makes her want to keep doing it or go back to it. 

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"