Success after IF

Not attending sister's baby shower

MoFreeMoFree member
edited September 2014 in Success after IF
I am not attending my sister's baby shower on October 4 because it is Yom Kippur, the highest holy day of the Jewish calendar.
When my BIL's sister asked for dates and possible conflicts I informed her that that day was absolutely off the table for me. No one else in either my family or BIL's is Jewish so they don't understand the significance of Yom Kippur.
My absence had nothing to do with my current TTC situation, as uncomfortable as baby showers are for me. My family never understood or accepted my conversion and I am the bad guy again.
TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

No more frosties

IVF #2. September 2014

PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

SET November 9, 2014
Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

Not sure where to go from here.

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Re: Not attending sister's baby shower

  • I'm sorry @Mo Free :-( That sucks. I didn't convert (DH's mom is Jewish, and his dad converted prior to marrying her, but they are not religious), but I understand where you are coming from. I hope you are able to enjoy your Yom Kippur celebration!

    DX: DOR and MFI 

     

    IVF w/ICSI brought us our 1st precious miracle

    V born via induction 4.29.11

    TTC #2: IVF (MDLF) August/September 2012

    ER 9/7: 6R, 5M, 4F ET 9/12: 5dt of 2 blasts 

    +HPT 9/17! Beta #1 (9/25) = 1,000 Beta #2 (9/27) = 1,860 U/S #1 (10/11)...TWINS!

    1/8/13 - It's a..boy and a girl!!   

     

    S&B born via induction 5.8.13

     

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  • I'm so sorry your family is so intolerant of your religious beliefs.  I know that has been a source of strife for you.  It sucks that they didn't consider your needs when they scheduled it, so it seems to me like it's not fair for them to judge you for it.  Ugh. 
    Well at least you don't have to sit through another baby shower while you are in the midst of a difficult cycle.  Hugs.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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  • Im sorry. You told them in advance you had a conflict and that was one you couldn't miss. So they will just have to get over it. 

    Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born. 

    6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived

    10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP 

  • I am sorry they are making you feel that way. You let them know your restrictions and they chose not to listen, so they can't be upset that you aren't going to make it. 
    Dx: Unexplained Infertility

    TTC #1 
    IUI's #1 - #3 Clomid = BFN's, IUI #4 Follistim = BFP
    Grayson arrived via emergency c-section on 7/28/12!

    TTC #2 
    IUI's #1 - #4 Follistim = BFN's
    IVF #1 w/ ICSI + PGS: Lupron/Follistim/Menopur
    ER 4/13 - 19R, 13F, 4 PGS tested embryos, 1 normal
    5/14 FET: BFP. Beta #1: 123, Beta #2: 327, Beta #3: 854
    Cora arrived 1/23/15 via RCS!
  • I'm sorry. It was thoughtless to schedule it on a day you could not make it and inexcusable to be upset you can't attend. So sorry for this drama.
    TTC in 2009, Dx: Unexplained IF
    Three TI cycles (BFP...miscarriage), five IUI attempts and 2.5 IVF cycles later...BFP!!
    12dp5dt: 765; 15dp5dt: 1979; 17dp5dt: 3379...TWINS!!!!!
    Our perfect baby boys were born at 36w1d!! 








  • I'm sorry Mo. While I can't relate to the religous aspect, I can most definitely relate to the family piece. I am always the bad guy in my family. It's MADDENING. Sending you huge hugs.


    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
    IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
    ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
    12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

    Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

    Molly Mildred born 03/31/13


    TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

    Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

    Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

    Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

    Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

    1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

    Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

  • Angst, this makes me so upset for you. You totally did everything you could to ensure you could be there. They didn't have to pick that day. I'm sorry your family is un-supportive :(
    Diagonsed PCOS TTC since May 2009
    First M/C December 2010 Second M/C August 2011
    Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
    Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
    Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
    Dec 27- third miscarriage
    May 25th- Beta #1 369;May 27th- Beta #2 798
    Baby girl born Jan 23, 9lbs 3oz, 21 1/2" long
    May 27th-Beta #1 80; May 29th- Beta #2 304; May 31st- Beta #3 860
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  • That totally sucks! I'm sorry your family couldn't be more understanding of your religious beliefs.
    TTC since 10/2008  RE consult 6/2010 Dx:Unexplaied IF

    Failed multiple cycles of Clomid+TI and Clomid+IUI

    3/2011 inj+IUI #1 BFP. 4/2011 missed m/c. 

    Fall 2011 inj+IUI #2&3 BFN

    Jan/Feb 2012 IVF#1 BFP 2/23  EDD 10/31/2012 ~~~ Halloween ~~~

    Our IVF miracle, Baby Boy M, arrived on 11/8/2012!
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  • Hugs sweetie. Some people will just never get it!!

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    IVF #1 September 2012, beta #1: 213; beta #2: 580. Expecting Twins! 
    EDD 6/9 lost one angel at 9w3d :( 
    Baby boy arrived 6/1/13
    FET #1 10/14, BFP -Chemical Pregnancy :(
    Everyone Welcome

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  • Ditto to all the PPs! I'm sorry they were so inconsiderate and I hope that you can enjoy the day despite the hurt ((hugs))
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    TTC# 1 since 5/10
    Me:34 Type 1 Diabetes, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Hypothyroid DH:35 Perfect
    DX: Unexplained IF
    Many IUI's with various meds all BFFN
    IVF #1 11/11 canceled due to OHSS
    IVF #2 Feb/March 2012 ET of 2 on day 3 4/7 BFP! 5/1 u/s blighted ovum
    IVF #3 July 2012 ET of 3 on day 3 7/24 BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w4d on 3/9/13

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    TTC #2
    IVF #4 May/June 2014 ER 6/4 18R 8M 8F ET 6/9 1 blast, 2 frosties
    Beta 6/18 BFFN

    FET of 2 blasts 7/24...BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w3d on 3/17/15

    TTC#3
    IVF #5 June 2018- PGS planned, no surviving embryos
    IVF #6 August 2018- ET of 2 on day 3 - Chemical pregnancy
    IVF #7 August 2019-....?
  • That really sucks! Sorry they are being inconsiderate of your beliefs. Hugs!
    Married July 2011; TTC since April 2011; DX: MFI
    IVF #1 in August 2012: BFP!
    L was born on May 5, 2013, 8lb. 6oz.
    PAIF/SAIF welcome!

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  • I get that maybe that was the day that worked for whoever is hosting the shower. But for your family to be upset with you after you gave them all a heads up is completely disrespectful to you. I'm sorry Mo.

    ___________________________________________________________________________

    Trying for #1 since May 2010   l   DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011

    IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks

    November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!

    Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26

    1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12 :)   **TEAM GREEN!**

    Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12

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    Trying for #2

    FET #1 - October '13 - c/p   l   FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled :(   l   FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN

    ~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~

    Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14 :)    **TEAM GREEN!**

    Beautiful baby girl born 11.24.14

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