Addressing envelopes at shower..

StefaniePace · May 2011

I know some of you feel like this is tacky but I think that it makes things very convenient for the Mommy to be. So.. my question is.. I am hosting my friends shower and I bought this super cute baby blue mailbox for people to put the envelopes in after they address them and I need a sign that says in a cute way for people to address them. Right now the wording I have is "Please take a minute to address and envelope for the convenience of the Mommy to be" Any other suggestions?

ellewoodsSC · May 2011

I think MOST would find this tacky, I'm not sure why you are stressing on the wording. You might as well have them write their own thank you card. If someone has made an effort to show up at the shower and bring a present, the least the person can do is send a personalized thank you card.

To make matters easier from the start, you can always create a list of people's name and info on a template for address labels, print some and use those for the invites and then the thank you cards.

cozylittlecave · May 2011

The wording should include that there will be a drawing... for a *really* good prize. In my experience, this is looked upon a little lighter when it's used for a game/prize in some way... but even that won't get everyone on board with it being decent etiquette.

I didn't really mind when I filled one out once & then they did drawings for prizes... had there just been a mailbox to put it in I'd have given it the side eye for sure.

mybobofo · May 2011

If I saw one of these at a shower, I would skip it and then wait and see if I got a thank you anyway. Lol.

danilynn17 · May 2011

If you want to make things easier for the mommy-to-be, why don't YOU address the thank you cards for her? Problem solved.

Addressing your own thank you cards is one of the most hated things you can do and is guaranteed to get people talking behind your back. It will reflect very poorly on you, and to some extent (though its not her fault because she didn't make the decision) on the mom-to-be.

Idomoodou2 · May 2011

Having guests address their own envelopes IS tacky. I second that if YOU want to make it easier then YOU pre-address the envelopes for her. During my bridal shower a gift from my best friend was personalized thank you cards and pre-addressed envelopes. BEST GIFT EVER, however, i would have been totally mortified if there had been instructions for guests to address their own evelopes. I'm actually pretty sure i would have swept up all of the envelopes as soon as i saw them so that maybe no one would have to fill them out. It just makes the guest of honor (and the hostess) seem lazy, all of which is not a desision that she has made, but the hostess has made for her.

rhubarb123 · May 2011

It is tacky. When we are handed envelopes at people's shower I never address one. Only a couple of times have I not gotten a thank you. If you want to help out the mom-to-be then address them yourself (you obviously have the list of addresses since you sent the invites). Don't bother with a "cute" mailbox unless you want it for guests to put "helpful hints" in or "messages to baby-to-be" in. As far as using it as a drawing...you can still do that - just fill out everyone's envelope yourself and pull one out and you've got a winner!

cburitz · May 2011

I'm sorry but that is one of the tackiest things I've ever heard of. You expect guests to show up at your shower, buy you presents off your registry, & then address their own thank you notes? I would be super pissed off.

Ask a friend, sister, MIL, etc to help you address the thank you notes after the shower. Don't ask your guests.

krissy_messenger · May 2011

cburitz:

I'm sorry but that is one of the tackiest things I've ever heard of. You expect guests to show up at your shower, buy you presents off your registry, & then address their own thank you notes? I would be super pissed off.

Ask a friend, sister, MIL, etc to help you address the thank you notes after the shower. Don't ask your guests.

This poster throwing a shower, she isn't the one being showered.

to OP- My MIL did this at the shower she threw for me and it totally made me uncomfortable. She did it for door prizes and i can see how she (and you) think it might make things easier, but really, addressing the envelopes it not as all difficult. Plus, I had purchased some really great baby themed thank-you notes to send to the guests but they didn't fit in her pre-addressed envelopes so I ended up re-writing most of them anyway.

cburitz · May 2011

krissy_messenger:
cburitz:

I'm sorry but that is one of the tackiest things I've ever heard of. You expect guests to show up at your shower, buy you presents off your registry, & then address their own thank you notes? I would be super pissed off.

Ask a friend, sister, MIL, etc to help you address the thank you notes after the shower. Don't ask your guests.

This poster throwing a shower, she isn't the one being showered.

to OP- My MIL did this at the shower she threw for me and it totally made me uncomfortable. She did it for door prizes and i can see how she (and you) think it might make things easier, but really, addressing the envelopes it not as all difficult. Plus, I had purchased some really great baby themed thank-you notes to send to the guests but they didn't fit in her pre-addressed envelopes so I ended up re-writing most of them anyway.

Apparently I was tired when I read the post...

I would be absolutely mortified if it was my shower. Like the PP said, it reflects poorly on the mom-to-be.

OP- I think it's sweet that you want to make things easier for your friend but you need to just help her address them after the shower. Don't ask the guests.

somethingscookin · May 2011

I agree that this is tacky. My shower is not a surprise what so ever. My mom is hosting it and she emailed me the address labels that she used for the invites so that I can just print them when it comes time to send out my thank you notes. I will obviously be handwriting the notes inside with the help of my SO. I hope LO's God Mother takes good notes on who gave us what. I really like to personalize my notes.

pam1005 · May 2011

In my social circle it is common that this is done. The host usually passes the envelopes out and then there is a drawing for several gifts.

cwrightdrv · May 2011

pam1005:
In my social circle it is common that this is done. The host usually passes the envelopes out and then there is a drawing for several gifts.

This- I understand why people may find this tacky, but I also think a lot of it has to do with regional/social group customs rather than a universal etiquette questions. Many of the baby and bridal showers I've attended did the door prize drawing based on addressed envelopes, and I never heard a single complaint about it. If it's a common practice where you are, I don't think it's an issue.

alliapistor · May 2011

It's tacky. Period.

If you're going to do it though, fix the wording - "an" envelope not "and" envelope and you need to let guests know that they are addressing it to themselves.

"Please self address an envelope for the convenience of the Mommy to be."

Or go with the door prize idea - "Please self address an envelope to be considered for a door prize."

MustanGTbaby13 · May 2011

I would say use your best judgement on this. Is her social circle like the ladies on here? Will they get their panties in a bunch for having to spend 30 seconds writing on an envelope?This would totally be fine with my friends as we are all laid back. I have other more important things to get pissy about.

Summer0715 · May 2011

This is really not a big deal. If I am hosting the shower I usually will fill them out for the bride/mom-to-be but I have been to many showers and it takes 30 seconds and everyone understands that you are trying to be helpful.

I have been to smaller showers were this is not done but at larger showers (20+) it seems to be more common in my area. I do think the mailbox is a cute idea and I'm sorry - but I don't need a prize for helping out a stressed out bride or tired mom-to-be by putting my address on an envelope. I'm glad to help anyway I can.

Yellow_Daisy · May 2011

One of my hostesses did this at my shower yesterday. It is NMS, I know lots of people do this though. I will ultimately just throw them out and address them myself, as I think they should be. The only one I will use is the one for the hostess that had the idea so that she doesn't feel bad or know that I didn't care for the idea.

poppy33 · May 2011

MustanGTbaby13:

I would say use your best judgement on this. Is her social circle like the ladies on here? Will they get their panties in a bunch for having to spend 30 seconds writing on an envelope?This would totally be fine with my friends as we are all laid back. I have other more important things to get pissy about.

This exactly. Maybe my family and friends have always been tacky, but I've never not been to a shower where this wasn't done. The first time I ever heard about it being considered tacky was on the knot, nest, bump forums. I have to laugh at the stand someone is going to take is not to fill out an envelope because they find it tacky! I made sure to make sure everyone got a thank you - envelope or not filled out...as most people would.

haleymay18 · May 2011

poppy33:
MustanGTbaby13:

I would say use your best judgement on this. Is her social circle like the ladies on here? Will they get their panties in a bunch for having to spend 30 seconds writing on an envelope?This would totally be fine with my friends as we are all laid back. I have other more important things to get pissy about.

This exactly. Maybe my family and friends have always been tacky, but I've never not been to a shower where this wasn't done. The first time I ever heard about it being considered tacky was on the knot, nest, bump forums. I have to laugh at the stand someone is going to take is not to fill out an envelope because they find it tacky! I made sure to make sure everyone got a thank you - envelope or not filled out...as most people would.

That's cool but it doesn't make it less tacky. Popular =/= okay.

Also, why don't you just have them write the thank you note. You could just tell them to leave a spot for you to sign it at the bottom. I mean, c'mon how hard could it be for them, it is like 3 sentences. I am sure they wouldn't mind.

RoxyLynn · May 2011

Yellow_Daisy:
One of my hostesses did this at my shower yesterday. It is NMS, I know lots of people do this though. I will ultimately just throw them out and address them myself, as I think they should be. The only one I will use is the one for the hostess that had the idea so that she doesn't feel bad or know that I didn't care for the idea.

What a gracious way of handling it! Well done.

JenWhite123 · May 2011

danilynn17:

If you want to make things easier for the mommy-to-be, why don't YOU address the thank you cards for her? Problem solved.

Addressing your own thank you cards is one of the most hated things you can do and is guaranteed to get people talking behind your back. It will reflect very poorly on you, and to some extent (though its not her fault because she didn't make the decision) on the mom-to-be.

this

KtotheYtotheM · May 2011

pam1005:
In my social circle it is common that this is done. The host usually passes the envelopes out and then there is a drawing for several gifts.

Exactly, It depends on what is common where you are from. I have no issue with this at all Smile

NikkiCola · May 2011

I would not stress about it! Every shower that I have been to this has been done... Also, it is not the same as filling out your own thank you note! Sometimes something gets missed or a name does not get put down in the gift log and it is very possible with everything going on that a thank you note might get forgotten. I think it could help in that case. With a lot of people and a busy exciting day you might unintentionally forget a person that was at your shower. Good luck with whatever you decide!

StefaniePace · May 2011

I ran this by the person I am throwing this for. She thought it was a cute idea.. I didnt realize how "tacky" this really was... Or how tacky people THINK it is.. I may throw this idea out. This is my first shower I have ever thrown.. so I am still learning.

StefaniePace · May 2011

If I do keep it I may do the raffle for a good prize.. But again I would want a suggestion on how I go about telling people. Like a little sign or something.

mpstochlinski8 · May 2011

I recently went to a shower where they left an envelope and candle for each guest and asked that you address it to yourself then they used them for a raffle. I had no issue with it and thought it was a clever way to help the new mom. Maybe a different circumstance since this shower was given a week after the baby was born 2 mths early. The mom was having to be there for feeding every 3hrs and wasn't allowed to drive yet from the c-section. Im guessing this has alot to do with why they went this route but either way I have no problem with it and wouldn't mind if it was done for me. Im suprised to hear so many people find this so rude, its really not a big deal in the big picture.

BallSox · May 2011

mybobofo:
If I saw one of these at a shower, I would skip it and then wait and see if I got a thank you anyway. Lol.

How about a poem?

Rattles, booties, bibs and spoons,

Books and outfits too

I know you spent your time and cash

and I'd like to say thank you...

So grab yourself an envelope,

a pen and start a-writing

I'll say I don't have your addy's

but I had them when I was invitin'

You're doing me a favor, lending me a hand

You're helping me so much, I'm sure you understand

New mommy and all, I'm oh-so-beat

If you'd write the note too, that'd be really neat

mommyjahr · May 2011

This was done at my wedding shower without my prior knowledge. I was a bit embarrassed, but I lived

If you are trying to save the Mom 2 Be some time, why not take the time to address the invites yourself? You could get ones that match the invites. I am sure the thought would be appreciated and then no worries about someone finding it tacky. I saw this on one of the boards awhile back, and really like the idea. If you want to do a drawing, you could take the cards she gets at the shower and have her do a drawing from them?

mybobofo · May 2011

If you do decide to throw the idea out - I love the PP's idea of using the mailbox to send notes to the baby or advice to the mommy. That would be such a beautiful way to have keepsakes from the shower and some of them would probably be really funny.

ange1029 · September 2014

WOW!!!! These are some of the rudest comments I've ever heard!! If someone wants to call me lazy, tacky or talk behind my back because I ask them to self address an envelope then I don't want them in my circle anymore! I think this is a cute and time saving idea. Most of my guests are invited to my baby shower via FB events so it saves me the hassle of asking for addresses -- other guest, who live close by, got an invite dropped in their mailbox one day while I was out running errands. This is also considered one of my games since a random envelope will be picked for a prize!!! I too was looking for a cute saying to put on the box the envelopes will be going into but after these terrible comments I will come up with my own.

Unknown · September 2014

This content has been removed.

PrimRoseMama · September 2014

ange1029 said:
WOW!!!! These are some of the rudest comments I've ever heard!! If someone wants to call me lazy, tacky or talk behind my back because I ask them to self address an envelope then I don't want them in my circle anymore! I think this is a cute and time saving idea. Most of my guests are invited to my baby shower via FB events so it saves me the hassle of asking for addresses -- other guest, who live close by, got an invite dropped in their mailbox one day while I was out running errands. This is also considered one of my games since a random envelope will be picked for a prize!!! I too was looking for a cute saying to put on the box the envelopes will be going into but after these terrible comments I will come up with my own.

Oh my God.

So, Brightest Crayon, the whole point of talking behind your back is that you won't know...

Btw? The above is so tacky it physically hurts.

Empireceo · September 2014

ange1029 said:

WOW!!!! These are some of the rudest comments I've ever heard!! If someone wants to call me lazy, tacky or talk behind my back because I ask them to self address an envelope then I don't want them in my circle anymore! I think this is a cute and time saving idea. Most of my guests are invited to my baby shower via FB events so it saves me the hassle of asking for addresses -- other guest, who live close by, got an invite dropped in their mailbox one day while I was out running errands. This is also considered one of my games since a random envelope will be picked for a prize!!! I too was looking for a cute saying to put on the box the envelopes will be going into but after these terrible comments I will come up with my own.

I'm glad I'm not your friend.

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