Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Pintobean39
member
Re: Beta is in ..... BFP!!!
TTC #1 January 2009
January 2010 SA results: Count 16 million, Motility 40%, Morphology 2%
January 2010- Surprise BFP! DS born 10/1/2010
January 2013 TTC #2
September 2013 Repeat SA: Count= 1.7 million, Motility= 24%, Morphology= 2%
November 6th 1st Appointment with RE: diagnosed with severe MFI
Testing to try to determine a cause & possible treatment for MFI
CD 3 blood work for me. RE does not want to repeat my HSG/lap at this point,
but may want to before moving forward with any fertility treatments.
After seeing the uro, DH is currently taking lots of supplements and clomid to try to boost his count. We will have a repeat SA in February to see if it works.
Follow up SA numbers are: Count= 4 million, Motility= 40%, Morphology= 1%
Uro wants us to have another follow up SA 5/9 to see if we see further improvement than we are back to the RE to make a game plan.
SA 5/9/2014 Count: 12 Million, Motility: 60%, and Morphology 2%. We will be doing iui #1 in late June
IUI #1 6/28 clomid + ovidrel, post wash count 3 million total sperm= BFN
IUI # 2 7/21 clomid+ ovidrel. post wash count 900,000 total sperm= BFN
IVF planned for early November- cancelled due to cyst
December IVF #1- 22 eggs, 20 mature,16 fertilized
12/9 Transferred 1 4AA Blast, 6 frosties
*****Everyone is welcome******
Official diagnosis: Unexplained IF. I am 32. I have low ovarian reserve (low AMH), and poor egg quality. I've also been diagnosed with mild glandular developmental arrest (lining problems, detected with EFT).
We are using open ID donor sperm. IUIs #1-7=BFN. IVF September 2014 antagonist protocol, 8R,5M,3F, 5 day transfer of 1 morula = BFN. IVF#2 planned for January 2015 (antagonist protocol + HGH).
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!
I saw your name mentioned in the Grad Check-In, and did a double take. I saw Ky's announcements, but THRILLED that you've got your BFP, too!!!!
I am sure the uncertainty over the next few weeks will be tough - I'm here to vent if you need it. Promise! I've got my fingers and toes crossed that this is your take home rainbow baby (or babies!) :-)
Off birth control March 2012 - Actively trying Sept 2012-April 2014
BFP on May 5th after Follistim & IUI #3
------------
* Razz *
Me 24: PCOS & elevated Prolactin --- H 28: SA great
Married
Femara 5mg + Ovidrel + TI + Progesterone = BFP!
Beta #1: 12/24 371 - Beta #2: 12/26 898
4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal
5 IUIs = BFN
All AL are welcome
Me: 28 MH:35
Married September 2012. TTC since September 2013
June 2014 - Dx w/ significant PCOS and referred to RE.
July/August 2014 - Testing complete: Testosterone & AMH very high, FSH slightly high, Vitamin D low, tubes and lining all lovely. DH SA: A+
Cycle 1 (Nov 2014): 2.5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI = BFN
Cycle 2 (Dec 2014): 5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN
Cycle 3 (Jan 2015): 5mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN
WTF consult scheduled for 1/29
PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
TTC 10.01.2012
BFP 06.04.2014 EDD 02.13.2015 D&C 07.25.2014
RE Consult Results
Me: 32, PCOS, Hypothyroid, HSG All Clear
DH: 33, Low Morph (2.5%)
11.2014 (Letrozole+IUI+Progesterone)=?
***SIGGY WARNING***
Me (26) & DH (26)
Dog Momma to 2 amazing furbabies
Started dating: May 6, 2005 & Married: August 4, 2012
Diagnosis: PCOS
September 2013 - January 2014: Not trying but not preventing
February 2014: Officially TTC (BBT, OPKs, etc)
February-August 2014: Irregular Cycles, U/S showed Fibroids/Cysts, Provera required to get AF, BFNs
September & October 2014: Testing Months with Reproductive Endocrinologist!
DH's SA: Normal (116.4 million sperm, 97% motility, 36% morphology) - WHO criteria
DH's Repeat SA: Poss. Low Morph. (138 million sperm, 73% motility, 8% morphology) - Kruger criteria
HSG and SIS: Normal (tubes clear)
Medicated Cycle: 5mg Letrozole + Trigger Injection + TI = BFP!!
ESTIMATED DUE DATE: AUGUST 13, 2015
Beta #1: 12/8 - 1,040 Beta #2: 12/10 - 2,902 Beta #3: 12/16 - 19,321
Ultrasound #1: 12/12 (5 weeks 1 day) - Gestational sac and yolk sac present
Ultrasound #2: 12/18 (6 weeks 0 days) - Measuring good, heart rate 99
Ultrasound #3: 12/26 (7 weeks 1 day) - Measuring good, heart rate 150
Me: 33, DH: 32
TTC: 2 years
Fertility blood tests all normal
Tilted uterus
3 day ultrasound 17 follicles
HSG: 11/13/13- tubes open
DH SA: SUPER sperm (145 million, 84% motility, 22% morphology)
All infection disease and immunity blood tests NORMAL
FIRST IUI May 2014: 100 mg Clomid days 5-9, third ultrasound CD 13 revealed four follicles 27, 24 and 20 and 13mm. Trigger shot May 28 with IUI May 29 and 30 (fingers crossed) - BFN started spotting 11DPO
IUI #2 B2B 6/23 and 6/24, three mature eggs and 130 million sperm! FX this is the month! BFN 7/8
3rd cycle benched due to cysts - TI with OPK tests - BFN
3rd mediated cycle: Clomid+Trigger+TI (three follies left side, one on right as usual....what the hell right ovary get it together and produce some damn follicles!) 7DPO progesterone level 43 with NO suppositories YAY for a natural strong ovulation. Beta canceled started spotting 13DPO - Third time is not a CHARM! 14 day cycle WTF! Everything looks normal - RE wants to start injectables next cycle so this cycle I'm benched
Officially benched until March....but still plan on trying the baking soda douche due to my excessive and thick CM
JANUARY SIGGY CHALLENGE...This is so me!
Love this man....he was so before his time in his thoughts and ideas about the world....been obsessed about him lately bringing it back to the early 90s.
Never thought I would like long hair....
Married 12/4/12
Began TTC 11/2012
Diagnosed as anovulatory 7/2013
Round #1 Clomid 50 mg 8/2013= BFN
Round#2 Clomid 50 mg 9/2013=BFN
First appointment with RE 9/27/2013
HSG showed left tube completely blocked, diagnosed with hypothyroid and began 50 mcg Synthroid, Vitamin D level low and began 2000 iu Vitamin D, Hubby's SA showed "super sperm" according to RE
Round#3 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 10/2013= BFN
Round #4 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 11/2013=BFN
Round #5 Clomid 50 mg (no trigger, on vacation) 12/2012= BFN
Round #1 Femara 2.5 mg, no trigger, IUI cancelled due to early ovulation 1/2014= BFN
1/25/2014= BENCHED for the first time (two leftover follies on the right)
2/7/14 Diagnosed with MTHFR/Benched
4/2014 Round #2 Femara 5mg, IUI #1=BFN
4/28/14 positive opk with no treatment while on break, confirmed with ultrasound= BFN
5/16/14 5mg Femara + trigger + TI= BFN
6/2014 5mg Femara + trigger + TI= BFN
Awaiting IVF consultation appointment on 7/29/2014
8/8/14 Began BCP's to prep for IVF
9/16/14 Began Lupron injections
9/25/14 Began stimming for IVF #1 with Menopur and Bravelle
10/8/14 10 eggs retrieved
10/13/14 2 embryos transferred
10/21/14 BFP!!!
11/24/14 confirmed that baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, d&c scheduled
Me 34 Him 33
May 2014 - Break cycle to repeat saline sonogram and re-group. Travel to Kauai 5/7-5/12 (Yay!!)
TTC #1
Me: AMA, DH: MFI
Official DX - MFI due to Hemochromatosis
IVF #1 Nov. 2014 - ER 11/10 (10R 6M 6F) - ET 11/13
3DT of 3 embies - no frosties - CP = BFFN!!!!
****All Welcome****
ALL WELCOME!
TTC since 04/12
Me- 26 PCOS
DH- 28 MFI
10/13 IUI #1 (1 follie)- BFP!
11/13 M/C @9 wk due to tetraploidy, one little boy in heaven
01/14 IUI#2 (1 follie) BFN
02/14 IUI #3 (3 follies) BFN
03/14 IUI #4 (2 follies) BFN
05/14 IVF/ICSI #1 CXL
07/14 IVF/ICSI #1.2 6R, 6M, 5F, 2T, 2 frosties!
Transferred 2-5dt CP
09/14 FET #1 BFP! Beta #1 52 Beta #2 152!
10/20/14- It's TWINS!
1/15- TEAM PURPLE!
DH (29): SA Perfect
TTC Since Jan '13, First RE Appt Jan '14
DX: Unspecified Ovarian Dysfunction, Long Cycles
May '13 BFP, C/P 4w3d
Apr '14: 50mg clomid + ovidrel + B2B IUI #1=BFP, Natural M/C 6.5wks
Oct '14: 100mg clomid + ovidrel + IUI#3 =BFN
Nov 14: 100mg clomid + ovidrel + B2B IUI#4=slow response, bad lining, cancelled
FU with RE, more bloodwork: Anticardiolipin +
Dec 14: 5mg Letrozole+baby aspirin +ovidrel + B2B IUI#4.1=BFFN
Jan '15: 5mg Letrozole +baby aspirin + ovidrel +B2B IUI #5= BFP!!
Eta: didn't like my previous use of the English language.
Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!
I'm worried about carrying 2 just because of the risk BUT since we did genetic testing and know we put in a boy and a girl, I'm going to be upset at the loss of 1 if only 1 makes it.
Now I'm kinda wishing I didn't know what they were.
ME: 36, on BC since 1996, irregular periods. HUBS: 37, healthy
2001—meet. 2005—marry. 2006—Furbaby is born.
On BC till end of 2009. 2010 NTNP.
New Year’s Eve 2010—BFP?! January 13, 2011—early loss, HCG peaked at 324, no D&C needed.
+++++
Feb 2011-Nov 2012—NTNP
Dec 2012 --present (TTC 20 months) Not even a hint of a BFP
Me: BW, U/S, HSG, HSN normal. AMH 2.33. Hubs: SA normal
+++++
April 2014--IUI #1 Clomid 100 4-8 Follistim 150 9-14, 5 mature follies at trigger, Peak E2 5/5 1100, BFN
May 2014 ---IUI#2 Clomid 100 3-7 Follistim 150 8-13, 3 mature follies at trigger, Peak E2 6/6 547, BFN
June 2014--IUI#3 Follistim 150/225 3-15, 3-5 mature follies at trigger, Peak E2 7/11 1450, BFN
July 2014--IUI#4 Follistim 225 2-12, 3 mature follies at trigger, Peak E2 8/12 841, BFN
Breaking till after Christmas, then IVF...taking 4000 mgs daily Inositol and Melatonin 3mg
Me: 27, PCOS. DH: 28, TBD.
Married since August 8, 2009
2008: HSG (normal), couple rounds of clomid through gyno
2008 - 2010: dragging my feet out of fear and procrastination
October 2010: first consultation with RE, dx PCOS and fibroids (DH slightly low count/motility)
Oct. 2010 - Dec. 2012: In DENIAL! avoided the issue because I was scared of surgery
January 2013: returned to RE, fibroids grew significantly
February 2013: second HSG, fibroids pushed on tubes which blocked them somewhat
March 2013: MRI to determine what type of surgery may be necessary
July 29, 2013: fibroids (5) removed via robotic laparascopy
August 2013 - Nov 2013 : benched due to recent surgery
IUI #3, Feb. 25, 2014 BFN
IUI #4 canceled due to lack of response to letrozole
IUI #4.1 April 28, 2014, BFN
May 16, 2014: wtf consult, start prepping for IVF in June and add injects for one last IUI in the meantime
IUI #5 started letrozole and bravelle but canceled after HSG led to new diagnosis
May 21, 2014: third HSG, tubes blocked, one at the beginning, one hydrosalpinx??
IVF #1 August 8, 2014 - 3dt of 2 embryos, BFN
September 17, 2014 - 4th HSG, the right tube is very patent (open!!) dye went straight through this time. Weird!
October 2, 2014 - started metformin treatment
November 14, 2014 - blood work, brought A1C down from 5.8 to 5.5
November 26, 2014 - RE finally back from vaca and reviewed my chart, no more IVFs for rest of calendar year
December 1, 2014 - Right after Thanksgiving, I called a new clinic and got in right away! Plan for IVF
December 17, 2014 - ER! 29 retrieved (!!), 16 mature, all 16 fertilized (ICSI)
IVF #2 December 20, 2014 - 3dt of 3 embryos, BFN
We are done with treatment unsuccessfully.
***Siggy Warning/Lurking***
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! So happy for you!!!!
Me: 29, DH: 30
Married: April, 2011; TTC: July, 2012
Dx: MFI; June '14 IVF w/ ICSI: 11R, 8M, 5F... 1 5dt, beta #1: 213, beta #2: 621, beta #3: 8545!