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Postpartum Depression
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Can this lurker join?

Ecat504Ecat504 member
in Postpartum Depression
My names emily, I'm 10 days PP, I know you all are not doctors and can't make any dianogstics, but I was just trying to seek some help and support, and offer any that I can.
I'll be bringing all of this up at my next appointment.

But, I was wondering if I should try to move my appointment up, as I'm not going in until the 24th.
I don't really know how serious ppd can get? is it worse/more likely if I was diagnosed with depression pre pregnancy? Im not even sure if I have it?

I've been very sad, but I've kind of just attributed it to hormones. I've cried over small things at least once a day. And even more silly, I've been living on my own for over 2 years and all of a sudden I'm having a hard time being away from my mom (we live 4 1/2 hours away). A few nights ago SO came into the bathroom as I was balled up in the shower crying because I felt so useless and helpless because I couldn't wash my hair because lifting my arms up hurt.
I don't feel like I shouldn't be a mom, or regret having her, I don't even feel disconnected from her. My sadness really has nothing at all to do with her. However, I have been very clingy to her which I attribute to being a FTM, but it seems kind of severe to me. When my mom was visiting, she was holding LO and walked to the kitchen with her while I was in the bedroom and I cried because she was too far away. Which now I see seems silly, but then I was so heartbroken at how far away she was from me! I don't feel like I want to hurt myself or her or anyone. I'm just really, really sad. People around me have noticed it too, which is why I bring it here because I'm not sure if others pointing it out means it's more serious than it is, of if they're just not used to me not being as happy as I was when I was pregnant?

Anyway, if this were you, would you try to be seen sooner or wait it out? Does anyone else feel this way?
ECat504
SO
SD (11/2010)
DD1 (09/2014)
DD2 (10/2015)
Baby Girl #4 (11/2020)
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Re: Can this lurker join?

  • flclflcl member
    I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling so sad.  Yes, it's completely normal to be emotional after childbirth (I cried at the "silliest" things in the beginning) but it sounds like some of the stuff you're describing is more than just hormones.  Having depression prior to your pregnancy does put you at a higher risk for PPD and/or PPA.  I've had a history with depression so my doctors were really on top of screening me pretty frequently.  Also, keep in mind that PPD doesn't always mean that you're not bonded with LO or that depression is somehow related to your baby.  PPD is just that, being depressed PP.  For me, I ended up having a pretty severe case of PPA, which I wasn't prepared for....

    It may be helpful for you to reschedule your appointment.  Try talking to your SO about what kind of support you need during this time.  Being a mom isn't easy so try to take advantage of all the help you can get.  Good luck.
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  • Ecat504Ecat504 member
    @flcl thanks! I keep trying to bring it up to SO but I'm never really sure how to. I know he'd be nothing short of supportive and helpful, so idk why I can't talk to him about it. How should I approach it? He knows I've been down, I just don't think he realizes how down I've been.
    ECat504
    SO
    SD (11/2010)
    DD1 (09/2014)
    DD2 (10/2015)
    Baby Girl #4 (11/2020)
    Report Reply
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  • flclflcl member
    I'm glad to hear your SO is supportive.  That makes a huge world of difference.  When I find myself struggling to communicate feeling down, I usually end up talking to him in the car as we drive home from somewhere.  Not sure why, but that's been where I feel comfortable chatting.  You just need to figure out what works for you.  The time and place isn't as important as what you have to say.  You mentioned that he already knows you're down so I'm sure he would appreciate you discussing it further with him.  Best of luck, I hope you start feeling some relief soon!
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  • deanna1313deanna1313 member
    So sorry to hear that you're struggling. What you are describing sounds just like me and how I was feeling right after having my son who is 3 mths now. I'm still not 100%, but I am doing so much better. Hang in there. It WILL get better even though it may not seem like it will.
    What PP said is true. It sounds like it may be PPD and more than just hormones. I knew a few days postpartum that something was wrong and I called my OB/GYN. They had me come in that day. It's up to you if you think you should go in sooner. I cried hysterically at my appt, but it felt good to go in and have them talk to me about it. At the same time they can't do anything that is going to work right away, unfortunately.
    Hang in there!
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