Great perspective on being OAD — The Bump
One & Done: Only child

Re: Great perspective on being OAD

  • Me too! It's like everything I'd love to say to people who make stupid remarks, but don't have to nerve lol!

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    [Deleted User]
  • Well put! I had a miscarriage before having ds. I am so blessed to have this healthy, intelligent little man. We were OAD by choice but recovery complications solidified the decision.

    I have a co-irker who I finally snapped at after one too many comments about having another. She hasn't brought it up since.
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  • I love this. It is definitely how I feel, minus the whole knowing I was her mom in an instant part.
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  • Great article!  While I was lucky to not experience any m/c's, I have friends that m/c and friends that are unable to conceive.  More people need a little sensitivity on this topic, I think.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • This is a great article, but ugh....the crap people say. On a friend posting recently about her infertility, not one, not two, but THREE people told her something along the lines of, "it's all part of gods plan/have faith in god/god doesn't give you more than you can handle." Maybe that's true, but way to invalidate her feelings and tell her to get over it! All she needed to hear that day was "I'm sorry/What can I do?"
  • EMarieMe said:
    This is a great article, but ugh....the crap people say. On a friend posting recently about her infertility, not one, not two, but THREE people told her something along the lines of, "it's all part of gods plan/have faith in god/god doesn't give you more than you can handle." Maybe that's true, but way to invalidate her feelings and tell her to get over it! All she needed to hear that day was "I'm sorry/What can I do?"

    How awful! I know that people were mean to me during our infertility struggles. I lost friends over it. I refused to allow people to keep making me feel worse than I was already feeling. Hugs to your friend those comments cut deeper than people realize.

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  • Great article.

    No one should have to defend their choice.


     our one and only *

    DS - 2011

     

    michelle615
  • EMarieMe said:
    This is a great article, but ugh....the crap people say. On a friend posting recently about her infertility, not one, not two, but THREE people told her something along the lines of, "it's all part of gods plan/have faith in god/god doesn't give you more than you can handle." Maybe that's true, but way to invalidate her feelings and tell her to get over it! All she needed to hear that day was "I'm sorry/What can I do?"
    I got a "it's all God's plan" minutes after finding out that I had a missed miscarriage with my first pregnancy. The person doing my blood draw said it. I know people are trying to be nice and that it could be comforting to some but in that moment, it just felt so cruel.

    ETA: Hit post by mistake. Sending good thoughts to your friend. I hope she doesn't let those comments get to her.
    I heard that all the time when DD was first born, 8 weeks early.  Maybe it is true...but when you are in a tough personal situation it pisses you off to hear someone say it to you.  

    I hope your friend is able to stay strong and ignore those people.
    One time I snapped, "really? what part of God's plan killed my child before they were born?" 

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  • What a great article and so true.

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