WWYD... name drama!

cozybluebear · September 2014

With only 2 weeks until our little one is expected to arrive, we really need to crack down on some names. We are "team green" so it's double the anxiety. We have absolutely no clue on a girl's name yet but we finally fell in love with a boy's name. When my husband mentioned the name to his brother, he got really upset to the point where he hung up the phone on my husband and has refused to talk to him for the last week... and still going strong. After speaking to my MIL, we discovered that the name we chose is the name that my BIL chose for his son. Here is the thing... my BIL and his wife have 4 daughters and she's since had her tube tied. They aren't even having a boy, or anymore kids for that matter! They desperately wanted a boy and kept trying which is how they ended up with the 4 girls. When we had our first baby and it turned out to be a boy, he didn't speak to us for weeks. I'm almost scared to have another boy now! We really had no idea how BIL felt about the name and we didn't choose it to be spiteful or disrespectful. What would you do? We really love the name but we also know that BIL will NEVER get over it. Would you pick something else just to keep the peace?

crystal8503 · September 2014

I agree with @FamousEa‌. Pick what name YOU love and hold strong because he will eventually come around. He's a dick if he doesn't because who the hell holds a grudge to a baby?

Rickaroo922 · September 2014

I think it would be different if BIL/SIL were having a baby too. I think he needs to grow up and suck it up. If he got all pissy and wouldnt talk to you guys for a week just bc you had a boy, then he has bigger issues. Name your baby whatever you want.

ANGnJON · September 2014

I have to agree with all of the PP. It's your child, name him/her what you want to. I don't understand why others feel they have a say in what people name their children! If you & your DH love the name I say go for it!

GretchenWeiners7 · September 2014

I definitely agree with everyone else...he needs to grow up and you should be able to name your kid whatever you love! So I say go for it too.

pnwlover12 · September 2014

Yep, use your name. Your BIL is being a d-bag and will get over it.

Saragoeswest · September 2014

Maybe BIL could get excited that his sweet nephew has this great name that he loves.

SusieBW · September 2014

Saragoeswest said:

Maybe BIL could get excited that his sweet nephew has this great name that he loves.

This is exactly what I was thinking. Name the baby what YOU guys want, and BIL will have to get over it. Hopefully he will come around and love that if he can't have a boy of his own, at least he gets to have a boy in the family with the name that he loves so much.

AmandaJean12 · September 2014

I thought you were going to say they were due a few weeks after you and planned to use it, in which case I may have let BIL have it.

But if you didn't know and they are done having kids? Totally use it. That's just being crazy.

pepperpotts317 · September 2014

Use the name. He needs to get over it.

SusieBW · September 2014

Soooo . . . what is the name?

persephonerose · September 2014

I would use it. Your BIL is being immature. I am sure he is probably mourning the loss of his "ideal" son, but they made a choice not to have any more children and he should not be taking out his frustrations on you guys.

ss265 · September 2014

Your BIL sounds really immature to me and I do tend to agree with PP that if you really love the name, you should use it.

However, I can also see his point of view. We have the only boys in the family and my SIL had a 1st tri miscarriage with a male fetus that she named "Ethan". Knowing that, even though there is no living child named Ethan, I have always told my husband that we could never name any of our sons Ethan because of her experience. Your situation is slightly different but I can see them mourning the loss of the son they never had.

Maybe continue to explore other boy names to see if you can find another name you equally love? And this time, keep it to yourself.

golfingdarwinfish · September 2014

I think he was incredibly jealous when he learned about the boy, and now that you want to use "his" name, the jealousy has been magnified. Now he probably feels like it's the son he will never have, and everytime he hears the name or sees his nephew he's going to be reminded that he never conceived a boy.

jenndub · September 2014

Maybe your BIL should stop acting like a little bitch and get over it. Boohoo, you have 4 healthy daughters, how terrible. Use the name, he needs to grow up. I'm in a terrible mood right now, that might be coming through here.

cozybluebear · September 2014

SusieBW said:
Soooo . . . what is the name?

The name is Shane. We really wanted a name that couldn't be shortened with a nickname... I hate nicknames! Our son is Brock so we didn't want another "B" name which is hard because so many great names start with "B". Of course we didn't want something super common either. We saw it in a baby book and thought it would be perfect.

jenndub · September 2014

Shane is my little brother's name and one of my all time favorites. Use it!

cmcookaln · September 2014

He sounds very immature to me. It is ridiculous for him to have gotten upset because you had a boy the first time. Grow up and get over it. You should love the child no matter what. I wouldn't worry about the name. If your BIL gets that upset over something so small and won't talk to you, that's something that he has to live with for the rest of his life.

heatherjeanp · September 2014

I went through something similarly crazy with my sister a few months ago. A few weeks after I finally told her the name we chose (Mason) she texted me to tell me that she was upset that I'm using that name because IF she and her husband have kids, that's one of her favorite names. She insisted to me that somehow I knew that. So she wanted me to know that if she ever has another boy that she will still use Mason, and that she wanted me to know so that if I have a problem with it we can choose another name now. WTF?!? My sis is nutty. Wanna know the bestest parts???! What makes this really crazy???? She has 2 kids with someone else, her youngest is 12. She's told me several times that she's finished having kids. Her current husband is INCARCERATED, they haven't consummated their marriage yet, and he won't be out for at least 6 more years!!! So she was trying to reserve the name for a hypothetical future child that she may or may not have. As it turns out, she was actually pissed at me for choosing the name and actually used the words "how dare she" when complaining about me behind my back.

I pray this baby doesn't inherit whatever recessive BSC gene my sister did.

My point, if you love the name, use it

pinkshades05 · September 2014

I'd still use the name. I think once your BIL gets over himself, he'll come around. I bet it's hard to watch someone else have the boy/girl that you were hoping to have, but it's not your fault and you are not responsible for their issues.

golfingdarwinfish · September 2014

cozybluebear said:

SusieBW said:
Soooo . . . what is the name?
The name is Shane. We really wanted a name that couldn't be shortened with a nickname... I hate nicknames! Our son is Brock so we didn't want another "B" name which is hard because so many great names start with "B". Of course we didn't want something super common either. We saw it in a baby book and thought it would be perfect.

That's our top name also. I've worked with quite a few of them and loved the name since I met my first Shane.

Jennifer18131 · September 2014

heatherjeanp said:

I went through something similarly crazy with my sister a few months ago. A few weeks after I finally told her the name we chose (Mason) she texted me to tell me that she was upset that I'm using that name because IF she and her husband have kids, that's one of her favorite names. She insisted to me that somehow I knew that. So she wanted me to know that if she ever has another boy that she will still use Mason, and that she wanted me to know so that if I have a problem with it we can choose another name now. WTF?!? My sis is nutty. Wanna know the bestest parts???! What makes this really crazy???? She has 2 kids with someone else, her youngest is 12. She's told me several times that she's finished having kids. Her current husband is INCARCERATED, they haven't consummated their marriage yet, and he won't be out for at least 6 more years!!! So she was trying to reserve the name for a hypothetical future child that she may or may not have. As it turns out, she was actually pissed at me for choosing the name and actually used the words "how dare she" when complaining about me behind my back. I pray this baby doesn't inherit whatever recessive BSC gene my sister did. My point, if you love the name, use it

I... have so many questions...

heatherjeanp · September 2014

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I know,right. It's insane. Let's see if I can anticipate any of them.... Did she marry him when he was already in prison? Yup. Why? She's nuts. She dated him in middle school, then lost touch ( um cuz he's basically been in jail on and off since age 18). None of us get it. Of course he's not guilty you know.....he was always in the wrong place at the wrong time. Our justice system is broken and he's really a good guy ....(I hope you can smell the sarcasm there). Ask away.

MrsSarahRenee · September 2014

Use the name you like but...

If you aren't attached to it yet and or haven't really connected your child with the name yet, I would personally use a different name. I am not attached to one name yet so that is where I am coming from.
Plus I feel sorry for your BIL (who is admittedly being an ass) for being so upset about not having a son. That is pathetically sad, and I feel badly for his daughters and family that aren't giving him something that clearly he thinks he needs. So I might feel enough sympathy to pick something else unless I was totally set and knew my baby was a Shane.

bumpuser10309732 · September 2014

Love the name Shane! I'm with everyone else your BIL needs to grow up. If he wanted to use it so bad he could've called one of his daughters Shane if he really wanted to.

Thewizardofrhythm · September 2014

Im so sorry you have a BIL who thinks its ok to vomit his emotions all over the people who love him! Thats what therapy is for my friend. That being said..... If choosing this name is going to cause a lifetime of him acting this way and potentially treating your child poorly, as much as you love the name, it may not be worth the grief.

asarem93 · September 2014

This made me irrationally angry lol. Your BIL is acting like a child. Name your baby whatever YOU want. That's like saying "I'm on a diet HOW DARE YOU EAT MY FAVORITE COOKIE!"

2goingon3 · September 2014

Yeah, use it. He should be proud to call his nephew by that name, it's not like he'll be completely disconnected from this child. If he has a fit, then he's a bad uncle.

silliegirlie143 · September 2014

DH would like to comment: F*ck that. That is all...

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