Should I tell my kids, or wait?

lgsdesigner · September 2014

I have two young children from a previous marriage. They are ages 6 and 3.

This weekend is my weekend to have them, so it's the first time seeing them since I discovered my pregnancy.

I really want to tell them they are going to have a baby brother/sister! They both have been asking for us to "make them one". But...I know once I tell them, they will more than likely tell their dad who will tell his family and any mutual friends we might have, so I don't want the secret out yet. I want to go to the u/s at 8.5 weeks, see for myself the baby is okay, and THEN reveal.

But...part of me feels bad for not letting them know right away. Especially in about 2wks when I will probably get m/s, and will be too sick to play with them like I normally do.

WWYD?

lala5507 · September 2014

I have a 5 year old and an almost 4 year old. I don't plan on telling them until after the 1st tri. It's still really early and if things don't work out, I don't want to have to explain that to them.

If you don't want anyone else knowing, I probably wouldn't tell the kids. If your kids are like mine, they won't keep the secret.

djm31012 · September 2014

My son is only 19 months so I dont have to worry about this yet, but my first thought is dont tell them because kids that little really arent able to contain excitement and not tell anyone. Tell them the day before you plan to tell everyone else, then they are still the first to know.

lgsdesigner · September 2014

Awesome advice ladies...thank you!

amylee545 · September 2014

I'd def wait. We're telling our families after our apt when I'm 8 weeks but will be waiting till our nephews (ages 9 and 5) are out of the room to tell them. We really don't want them telling the world yet.

katiebug66 · September 2014

I am not telling mine until after the u/s (8 weeks) and that will be the day before we tell family.

KMAXON · September 2014

DD is 3. With my last pregnancy I got to 13 weeks, then had a major complication where they told me I was going to lose the baby (I didnt). But it scared me enough that I don't want to tell her for as long as possible. I could never handle un telling her.

itsmevkb · September 2014

We haven't told our children yet as I feel it's just too early and trying to explain miscarriage to young children is just too difficult. (our kids are 8, 5, 3, and almost 2)

tashad18 · September 2014

I haven't told my 11year old yet. It is too early, and I do not want him to have to deal with the grief of a loss if it comes to that.

DanandVan · September 2014

In your situation, I would def wait until after your 1st appt at least. I would never expect little ones to keep a secret so just know that if they know everyone will know (same with my mom, lol).
I will throw out there that I had a miscarriage last year that put me in the hospital. It was very traumatic for my kids, and I think they would have handled it better if they had known I was expecting. (They are 7 and 9). This time we are planning to tell family and close friends after our 1st appt, announcing fb/general public after 1st tri.

la79al · September 2014

Mine are 6 and 4. I'm not telling them for a while. They will tell everyone and May is a LONG way away for them. I've been napping and nauseous for almost 2 weeks now and they haven't really noticed. I want to come up with an awesome way to tell them but I think the best idea is just to sit them down and tell them. They're going to be excited but it's a lot for little people to take in.

lgsdesigner · September 2014

Thanks for all your thoughts/suggestions. I will definitely wait to first make sure everything is fine with the baby. I appreciate all the comments!

RustyGirl3 · September 2014

I agree with PP's.

We had a miscarriage last year and we had told everyone in the family after we told our girls. My youngest didn't quite understand, but my oldest was 6 at the time and she was very upset and wanted answers to questions I couldn't give her.

This time, we are telling our Moms & Dads first and then once we reach the 2nd tri we will tell our kids and then the rest of the family.

sabriel1 · September 2014

My kids are younger (almost 3 and 8 months) but I will tell my 3 yo when I tell everyone else, which will be when I start showing/it becomes a bit more obvious. Around here they don't check betas or do early ultrasounds unless you are at risk or something so we won't know that everything looks alright until our first appointment at 12w2d.

I hope to hide it even longer just because I like having the secret just for DH and I and I don't like telling earlier since ppl keep asking when your going to have it. The further along I am when I tell it'll just seem less long to everyone else and they will be less annoying. DD won't get it until the baby is here I'm sure so I just want to introduce the idea to her first without someone else telling her.

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