April 2015 Moms

VENT: I just don't get it!

JLaudioJLaudio member
edited September 2014 in April 2015 Moms
Ok, so I get that my husband works from 730am till 6pm in the military fixing Generals computers at every whim but damn is it to much to ask for a little love when he gets home. I have been sending him "sexy" messages for 3 days while he is at work, tonight we went out to dinner with friends, came home, I gave him a back massage (for like an hour), had sex (pulled out ALL the freaking tricks in the book, just short of my legs being thrown behind my damn head), what does he do??? Fucking rolls over and goes to sleep, not a kiss, not a word, not even a "good game" slap on the ass. My feelings are completely hurt, fuck all I want is a little attention from HIM! I get attention from others, I want attention and to feel LOVED from HIM, am I being completely obnoxious or is this actually rational?? Currently crying my eyes out, I'm pissed!

Edit: Ok so I was gonna edit this post BUT there is no saving this one because it's just a big ole hot mess.
BabyFetus Ticker

Re: VENT: I just don't get it!

  • He wasn't "taking me out to dinner" him and his coworkers planned it, so they could drink and I could be everyone's DD. I will admit yesterday, by the time he got home I felt like death, but he didn't even try, like AT ALL. This man is normally SUPER LOVING.
    BabyFetus Ticker

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  • jk3610jk3610 member
    edited September 2014
    maybe he's feeling stressed or nervous about being a dad.  that plus the long hours at work are enough to make anyone tired either physically or emotionally.  try to be patient.  there will be a lot (i'm sure) of times where he will need to be patient with you from now until april.  just remember your love for each other and that love can evolve in life changing events like this.


    EDIT: pregnancy brain= can't type for shit
    Together since 5.16.05 (16 & 19yo)
    Married since 3.6.10 (21 & 24yo)
    Baby Olivia coming 4.14.15 <3 (26 & 29yo)

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  • Already married with a 6yr old and a 4yr old, clearly remember those baby days. Guess I'm just used to my "superman" and since I'm not getting it lately, I'm not happy about it.
    BabyFetus Ticker

  • What were you looking for ? What did you feel you were missing? It sounds like a super long day for you DH. With probably a late night after dinner, massage and sex. With an early start this morning.
  • snegde said:

    saltbox40 said:





    snegde said:

    :ar!

    Happy Pirate Day, Snegde!
    Haha.

    The pirate started last year when we got more emoticons. I felt like the pirate was not getting any love. It's my choice when I don't have anything nice to say. But today is talk like a pirate day so head to Krispy kremes n'at!


    What's a pirate's favorite letter?
  • Well now that I've been put in my place and have dried my eyes. I get that it a irrational but all I wanted was at least a kiss. For the record I did the messaging and the fucking, not him. I get he isn't a mind reader but I want the same amount of love that I used to get, not less. And now for doughnuts. (Hormonal Much, I am shamed)
    BabyFetus Ticker

  • Maybe cut down the massage time to like, 15 mins so he has those extra 45 to talk? (:|
  • Ask for what you want, there is no mileage having a silent tantrum after your DH leaves for work. If I'm in need of a longer hug, or a lingering kiss, in a playful manner I pull my DH into me and say noooo I'm not done yet. They aren't mind readers.
  • This is just me, (and considering I'm not apparently not favored here because I still believe that a relationship exists between me and my DH, even though our little nugget will be added soon).....he's still your husband. He may work hard, and I'm sure you recognize that, and I'm sure he recognizes that even though you send him sexy messages during the day and then tired at night, he has to make time for you. Same with you for him if he is in the mood after reading your texts. Even if it's 20 minutes before bed. Just mention it to him. Men aren't as emotional as most women and don't even notice the problem. But you also have to make the effort too. If I notice that it's been a few days since we've had sex, I wait outside of the bathroom door to "blow his mind" as soon as he walks out of the shower. If he rolls over to go to bed, lean over and kiss him and tell him that YOU love HIM. Sometimes we need to make the move. I do hope it works out soon! I know how it feels to be frustrated and feel unappreciated. I just sat my DH down and told him how I felt and he made an effort to make it better. 
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  • @xracerbock‌ I completely understand what you're going through, I know that the deployments are tough, ESPECIALLY when pregnant. He just returned from a year in Korea, then we immediately PSC'ed to Japan, pregnant a month after getting here. Yet another reason why I want his love that much more. My whining probably pissed you off, I've been the pregnant chick with a deployed husband before, I know it used to piss me off, for that I am sorry. My prayers are definitely with you.

    I ranted this like 2hrs after it happened, as it is 2am over here now, I wasn't seething ALL night long.

    @mbm1983‌ I respect that y'all are honest. I have enough sense to tell when I'm wrong, AFTER someone brings me to my senses, which kinda sucks. I'm just a SUPER feelsy person, I wear my heart on my sleeve and get my feelings hurt very easily, till someone talks some sense into me.
    BabyFetus Ticker

  • dmcox10 said:

    This is just me, (and considering I'm not apparently not favored here because I still believe that a relationship exists between me and my DH, even though our little nugget will be added soon).....

    That's not an over-reaction at all. Qfp
    Together since 5.16.05 (16 & 19yo)
    Married since 3.6.10 (21 & 24yo)
    Baby Olivia coming 4.14.15 <3 (26 & 29yo)

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  • I didn't think so :)

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  • You can save the value judgments. I can't speak for everyone but they are not welcome here. I truly wish you the best but maybe the bump is not the right place for your soapbox.
    Together since 5.16.05 (16 & 19yo)
    Married since 3.6.10 (21 & 24yo)
    Baby Olivia coming 4.14.15 <3 (26 & 29yo)

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    January Siggy Challenge: Fitness Fails

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  • Oh sorry! Forgot to quote. I was referring to the same thing @souptin quoted. Apologies!
    Together since 5.16.05 (16 & 19yo)
    Married since 3.6.10 (21 & 24yo)
    Baby Olivia coming 4.14.15 <3 (26 & 29yo)

    image


    January Siggy Challenge: Fitness Fails

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  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • @mbm1983 not directed at you at all. and yea, it's regarding what @souptin said...I mentioned I wasn't liked very much, because people feel I called them out on their lack of sex to their DH's. Oh well. Maybe too snarky. 
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  • Nbd. I know i've been irritable as balls lately. Lol.
    Together since 5.16.05 (16 & 19yo)
    Married since 3.6.10 (21 & 24yo)
    Baby Olivia coming 4.14.15 <3 (26 & 29yo)

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    January Siggy Challenge: Fitness Fails

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  • Murran131Murran131 member
    edited September 2014
  • angi3o said:
    @mbm1983 not directed at you at all. and yea, it's regarding what @souptin said...I mentioned I wasn't liked very much, because people feel I called them out on their lack of sex to their DH's. Oh well. Maybe too snarky. 
    The reason you are disliked is not at all because you called people out on their lack of sex.... Everyone already knows they have less sex now. The reason that you're disliked is because you're ignorant and I guess you weren't getting enough attention on the other thread, so you decided to spread your drama all over tb :)
    Actually, and I haven't even read past what I'm quoting... I comment, a lot, and on a lot of threads. And I click the "love" button a lot. I don't jump around from post to post trying to start shit. I'm usually very supportive on everything I post. So I'm not looking for drama. And I wasn't looking for attention. After I apologized, I stop reading as to not stir up more shit. Complete opposite of what you're doing on here. Leave it be, and let people comment on the actual thread, please. 
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  • So... I read all the posts and since I don't want to listen to miss "your husband deserves more sex" I'm gonna reply to op.
    You just need to talk to your dh. He may be tired, he maybe a little overwhelmed, he may be freaked out about sex with a little one in you. Who knows unless you ask him. Tell him how you feel.

  • dmcox10 said:
    This is just me, (and considering I'm not apparently not favored here because I still believe that a relationship exists between me and my DH, (snip)


    dmcox10 said:
    @mbm1983 not directed at you at all. and yea, it's regarding what @souptin said...I mentioned I wasn't liked very much, because people feel I called them out on their lack of sex to their DH's. Oh well. Maybe too snarky. 
    image

    You're making it worse. Not only did you insult us all and say you feel sorry for our husbands, but not you're going even further accusing us of not even valuing our relationships now because of our children.

    Take a chill pill and maybe take judgemental attitude down a notch or two.

    ...hense the reason I've stopped quoting. I'm actually finding it more comical that 2 mods have been the main ones stirring the pot than others. I meant no disrespect to women, their DH's and their sex life. Every relationship is different, and I'm sure every one is happy in theirs, or else they wouldn't be married and pregnant. And to wherever Ms. Utah is...I don't even believe in religion! I don't bow down to my husband. We respect each other very much, but it doesn't  mean that everytime I'm just not in the mood, I can turn him down every single time. As I said before, not trying to start anything or piss anybody else off. So, sorry, but I don't believe I'm making it worse, I've stayed away, but I'm also not going to sit here and not defend myself.
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  • dmcox10 said:







    dmcox10 said:

    This is just me, (and considering I'm not apparently not favored here because I still believe that a relationship exists between me and my DH, (snip)




    dmcox10 said:

    @mbm1983 not directed at you at all. and yea, it's regarding what @souptin said...I mentioned I wasn't liked very much, because people feel I called them out on their lack of sex to their DH's. Oh well. Maybe too snarky. 

    image

    You're making it worse. Not only did you insult us all and say you feel sorry for our husbands, but not you're going even further accusing us of not even valuing our relationships now because of our children.

    Take a chill pill and maybe take judgemental attitude down a notch or two.




    ...hense the reason I've stopped quoting. I'm actually finding it more comical that 2 mods have been the main ones stirring the pot than others. I meant no disrespect to women, their DH's and their sex life. Every relationship is different, and I'm sure every one is happy in theirs, or else they wouldn't be married and pregnant. And to wherever Ms. Utah is...I don't even believe in religion! I don't bow down to my husband. We respect each other very much, but it doesn't  mean that everytime I'm just not in the mood, I can turn him down every single time. As I said before, not trying to start anything or piss anybody else off. So, sorry, but I don't believe I'm making it worse, I've stayed away, but I'm also not going to sit here and not defend myself.

    Ok... I know this is off topic, but I couldn't get over the stupid "I don't believe in religion" comment. Religion is a belief in and worship of a controlling power. Whether you believe there is a God or not, you can't say you don't believe that there is religion. Like I said, off topic, but I do see it as proof of ignorance.
  • So I totally ignored the other stuff. Sorry.

    OP: it's all been covered really well. I just want to add, you said that he is normally really loving and affectionate. If that's the case then don't let this bother you. Or the past few days or so. If this is not usual behavior then there is probably something behind it. Maybe you just needed to initiate the affection. Just bring it up to him. If this isn't normal behavior I'm not sure why you would bring it up to a group of strangers on the internet. It just seems crazy to me to do. When I have an issue with DH he's the first person I go to. Not the internet. I'm not completely anti DH vents. This just seems like it was unnecessary.
  • dmcox10 said:







    dmcox10 said:

    This is just me, (and considering I'm not apparently not favored here because I still believe that a relationship exists between me and my DH, (snip)




    dmcox10 said:

    @mbm1983 not directed at you at all. and yea, it's regarding what @souptin said...I mentioned I wasn't liked very much, because people feel I called them out on their lack of sex to their DH's. Oh well. Maybe too snarky. 

    image

    You're making it worse. Not only did you insult us all and say you feel sorry for our husbands, but not you're going even further accusing us of not even valuing our relationships now because of our children.

    Take a chill pill and maybe take judgemental attitude down a notch or two.




    ...hense the reason I've stopped quoting. I'm actually finding it more comical that 2 mods have been the main ones stirring the pot than others. I meant no disrespect to women, their DH's and their sex life. Every relationship is different, and I'm sure every one is happy in theirs, or else they wouldn't be married and pregnant. And to wherever Ms. Utah is...I don't even believe in religion! I don't bow down to my husband. We respect each other very much, but it doesn't  mean that everytime I'm just not in the mood, I can turn him down every single time. As I said before, not trying to start anything or piss anybody else off. So, sorry, but I don't believe I'm making it worse, I've stayed away, but I'm also not going to sit here and not defend myself.

    And yet you're still talking. STOP.
  • RHoPA1109 said:

    I have nothing more to add, as others have said it well...but, @dmcox10‌, do I have you to blame for the shitty stupid Cosmo sex articles about "meeting him outside the bathroom and blowing his mind?" What a lame, watered down, shitty, cheesy pg-13 movie portrayal of "pleasing your husband." You are a parody. Should I eat a donut off his cock or try to finger his butthole too?

    If you don't like the Cosmo posts then keep flipping! It was more along the lines of being spontaneous to please my husband, but hey if I'm a parody, I'm sorry you feel that way.
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  • RHoPA1109 said:


    dmcox10 said:

    RHoPA1109 said:

    I have nothing more to add, as others have said it well...but, @dmcox10‌, do I have you to blame for the shitty stupid Cosmo sex articles about "meeting him outside the bathroom and blowing his mind?" What a lame, watered down, shitty, cheesy pg-13 movie portrayal of "pleasing your husband." You are a parody. Should I eat a donut off his cock or try to finger his butthole too?

    If you don't like the Cosmo posts then keep flipping! It was more along the lines of being spontaneous to please my husband, but hey if I'm a parody, I'm sorry you feel that way.



    I do keep flipping in Cosmo, but here I don't have the luxury of flipping past you since you keep spreading the dumb in multiple threads. FO&EABoD.
    Just flip past Cosmo entirely. Ugh barf.

    Sure you do. It's called the scroll button. G'day to you!
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  • Swoon13 said:

    dmcox10 said:

    RHoPA1109 said:


    dmcox10 said:

    RHoPA1109 said:

    I have nothing more to add, as others have said it well...but, @dmcox10‌, do I have you to blame for the shitty stupid Cosmo sex articles about "meeting him outside the bathroom and blowing his mind?" What a lame, watered down, shitty, cheesy pg-13 movie portrayal of "pleasing your husband." You are a parody. Should I eat a donut off his cock or try to finger his butthole too?

    If you don't like the Cosmo posts then keep flipping! It was more along the lines of being spontaneous to please my husband, but hey if I'm a parody, I'm sorry you feel that way.



    I do keep flipping in Cosmo, but here I don't have the luxury of flipping past you since you keep spreading the dumb in multiple threads. FO&EABoD.
    Just flip past Cosmo entirely. Ugh barf.
    Sure you do. It's called the scroll button. G'day to you!
    Oh fuck off already. Stop spreading your nincompoopery all over the board.

    Nah I'm okay
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  • Whoa.

    @redneckmomma25‌ it was around 1am over here when I posted because I was just getting more and more mad, I was sitting over here seething. I'm a very open book and will tell it like it is, I didn't mean to come across as bashing my DH, he is absolutely amazing, I'm pretty sure that's the reason why I was so upset. I was an emotional basket case last night. As for posting to a bunch of strangers about it, I know you ladies are honest and will tell it like it is, I posted, y'all talked some sense and then I started seeing the reality a little (a lot) more clear.

    He woke up about an hour after this post, not even a 5 minute conversation, and I was back to feeling the love. I do appreciate y'all's input.
    BabyFetus Ticker

  • I honestly need to go read/edit my original post. I was thinking about a few of my statements when I woke up this morning.

    I do respect most Generals, however some of them are on an entirely different level of entitlement. The ones that are on leave, calling in "favors" to have their personal items fixed on working time, just because they can because they are higher ranking. The few who abuse the system, for some of the dumbest reasons you could possibly think of.
    BabyFetus Ticker

  • snegde said:

    Smash1215 said:

    snegde said:

    saltbox40 said:





    snegde said:

    :ar!

    Happy Pirate Day, Snegde!
    Haha.

    The pirate started last year when we got more emoticons. I felt like the pirate was not getting any love. It's my choice when I don't have anything nice to say. But today is talk like a pirate day so head to Krispy kremes n'at!
    What's a pirate's favorite letter?
    Arrrrrr



    Shit!!! I totally forgot about talk like a pirate day!!!! Gah!! Do over. It's officially talk like a pirate weekend in my book.


    And @JLaudio‌ - It sounds like you got this one sorted, but I don't understand why you're bringing this to a bunch of internet strangers to begin with? Maybe I'm lucky to have a good man that I can talk to straight up even if it's 1am, but not cool to dog on your spouse en masse. If he's not living up to your standards, you need to have that conversation with HIM. End of story.
    image

    BabyFruit Ticker
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