Gentle sleep training question

Robeano · September 2014

So we've been attempting some sleep training with Hannah, the first night we tried the old method. It did not work very well, Hannah got completely hysterical, and we both couldn't handle that. Last night I tried a more gentle approach. I put a chair in the room beside the crib, as long as she was lying down, quiet and still I stayed in the room beside the crib. If she was squirmy I left the room for 10 minutes and them came back. On the plus side she only woke up once last night, she fell back asleep fast and slept till 7. The bad side was that she didn't fall asleep for the night till 9, gonna start earlier today. So here's the question. The gentle method has you staying in the same "stage" for 3 nights, at this rate it will take two weeks to finish training her. Well I've got work in the evenings, oh I forgot to mention, she has nothing to do with hubby during this. She screams if he tries to put her in bed, and calms within seconds when I walk in. So has anybody moved up the timeline and been successful? What was your experience wit this type of sleep training? Any advice? I couldn't handle the hysterical crying, it was too much. This way is much nicer, but unfortunately longer.

Robeano · September 2014

Oh, and she woke up happy this morning!! Huge deal, no tears, smiles and a big "hi!"

mcgeeva · September 2014

I have no advice but it sounds like shes doing amazing to me!

jessica_gail2 · September 2014

No advice either but yay for a successful night!!!

amd1982 · September 2014

Hey Robeano. I agree the hysterical crying totally stinks. Here's what we've been doing with our twins who are fairly close in age to Hannah (20 months). So we established a routine every night - bottle and they watch baby genius on tv for 20 min to relax and chill. Then we head upstairs and brush their teeth. Put their nighttime diapers on and read the same two books every night. Good night moon and time for bed. It's funny after the first two nights they point upstairs and say "moon!" I read in a couple sleep books that doing the same thing very night is very important. Now there is no fussing whatsoever at night and I think it's because they are prepared for bed. It's not like they are playing one second and then we spring bedtime on them. Anyway may be something good to try to speed up your process a little? Good luck. Happy to hear she woke up happy!

kbeach82 · September 2014

I am curious after reading the response from @amd1982. What is your current nighttime routine with Hannah like? All of our LOs are very tied to their routines, but we had some trial and error finding what works best for all of them.

Robeano · September 2014

We try to keep it simple. PJ's and night diaper on, snuggle while we sing her good night song, read her bed time book (same one as always) say a prayer than off to bed. I'm wondering if we should include bath time in the nighttime routine. We don't give her a bath every day so we didn't want that to become an issue. But maybe extending her night time routine is a good idea.

kbeach82 · September 2014

We have always done bath every other night, just so they don't become too dependent on that part of the routine (in case we get home late, are visiting friends/relatives, etc.), but if you can manage it, that might help to relax her a bit. You could always drop that part of your routine once she is going down better at night.

Like amd1982, we also start our bedtime routine for the twins before we actually head upstairs (if it is not a bath night, if it is a bath night, we do bath first then bottles in their room). They lie on pillows on the floor and have their bottles while we all watch either Baby Babble or Baby Einstein (DS1 is not super always super thrilled about watching a "baby show," but he will live). I put their nighttime diapers and PJs on them while they watch their show, then we brush teeth, and then head upstairs.

I read 1 or to books to them (we have several that we keep in their room and rotate between for bedtime), then sing them a few songs while I rock them, and into their cribs they go. I have always reserved "Twinkle Twinkle" especially for when I put them down in their cribs, and I sing that to them in the dark while I rub their heads. This is one of the differences between nap time and bed time routines, and I think it helps them to know that it is bed time.

It seems like it should take forever after typing this all out, but it really doesn't take long. I hope you are able to make some more progress with Hannah soon!

TJ1979 · September 2014

I wouldn't recommend extending the bed time routine if you can get away with it. Once #2 comes along (squeeeeeeee!!!!!!) it gets harder to fit in the full bedtime routine. Especially if you have to do it solo. (Although I have found that it works best for me to put P on the play mat on the floor in E's room while I do E's bedtime routine. P is happy as long as she can see us, so that worked much better than trying to put her in her swing or PNP while I did E's bedtime routine. You just have to play with it and see what works best for your kid(s). This is just my experience.)

Robeano · September 2014

@tj1979, that is some solid advice! You gave me this mental image of new baby crying while trying to do a long bedtime routine. *shudder* I'll keep it the way we have it

kbeach82 · September 2014

Although I understand where @TJ1979 is coming from, I have managed with my 3, solo and when DH is home. FWIW, E will be around the same age as V was when I had the twins. Since we do part of the routine downstairs anyway, the only time he has not been with me is for reading/singing to and putting the babies in their beds, which only takes a few minutes. When DH is not home, he has always been fine to sit and read a book (or sit on the potty once we started potty training) when I put them down.

TJ1979 · September 2014

@kbeach82 I think the difference is that I do it the opposite way. E goes down before the baby. So when E has a 30 minute bedtime routine, that was leaving P crying for 30 minutes in her swing. Then I would try to cut E's routine short, and she would cry. Then they would both be crying, so I'd start crying.
E could totally entertain herself while I put the baby down, but the baby couldn't entertain herself (especially during her witching hour when she wanted to be cluster feeding) while I put E down. KWIM?
But now that P's past the witching hour/cluster feeding stage, and is perfectly happy to lie on the floor and watch me do E's bedtime routine, it's fine.

kbeach82 · September 2014

@TJ1979 That makes sense. V has always gone down after S&B (ok, well not when they were newborns and colicky and didn't really go to bed until like 11:00...but I have chosen to try to erase that part of my life from my memory), so I haven't had a problem with the babies being the ones having to wait around for him to go to bed.

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