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April 2015 Moms
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He needs to leave!!

kmparker421kmparker421 member
in April 2015 Moms
My BIL has been living with us since February. He doesn't pay rent, help with utilities or food. We told him we wanted him to use the time to get on his feet and save some money. At first he helped a little bit around the house, but now I feel like my 3rd kid is him. It's driving me crazy! I told my husband I need him out yesterday but he feels to guilty to make him leave. I'm so over having him and his 4 year old (every other weekend and one day a week) in our house!!!
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Re: He needs to leave!!

  • frenchyjfrenchyj member
    Start bringing home packing boxes and begin to paint his room to prepare for the baby! Your hubby better now feel bad. You are not a charity house and have a family and responsibilities of your own! You hubby needs to have your back so make that clear to him. Give the BIL another week or two. After which leave his stuff outside. Totally ridiculous. Sorry girl
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  • kmparker421kmparker421 member
    doribeth851 said:

    Instead of just kicking him out, can you give him a date of when he needs to be gone by?

    Yeah we agreed he has to be out by Christmas. My husband wanted to give him until March but I can't do that!!

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  • kmparker421kmparker421 member
    souptin said:

    Dear diary....

    Glad you understand! But will you enlighten me what QFP stands for?
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  • kmparker421kmparker421 member
    frenchyj said:

    Start bringing home packing boxes and begin to paint his room to prepare for the baby! Your hubby better now feel bad. You are not a charity house and have a family and responsibilities of your own! You hubby needs to have your back so make that clear to him. Give the BIL another week or two. After which leave his stuff outside. Totally ridiculous. Sorry girl

    I still have boxes in the basement from our move a year ago and I am saving them just for him!
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  • kmparker421kmparker421 member
    souptin said:

    Quoted For Posterity



    kmparker421 said:

    souptin said:

    Dear diary....

    Glad you understand! But will you enlighten me what QFP stands for?


    I said nothing about understanding, I WAS making reference to you using TB as a personal blog or diary, you asked no questions or had some kind of PSA  for the group, just a random personal complaint-one that doesn't  relate to pregnancy or to the group by any stretch-  it's something that generally goes in a blog or diary not a new thread.


    I was being sarcastic on that part. Sorry you didn't catch that.

    What's the point of "quoted for posterity"?

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  • kmparker421kmparker421 member
    mbm1983 said:

    I've gone through this, but really you just need to rip it off like a bandaid. He's gonna hate you guys for kicking him out for a while, but once he's on his own he'll come around.

    Give him a deadline, and if he needs it you and hubby need to help him find an affordable place.

    Im glad I'm not the only one who has been here! I hate it. I am starting my apartment search today. I hate the "guilt" he's putting on us but I am so done I don't even care!
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  • Dani428Dani428 member
    edited September 2014
    Your husband needs to realize that you're pregnant and you don't need the extra stress. My advice would be to just try to be as kind as you can about approaching the topic since it seems like it's a sensitive one with your hubs. Maybe you guys can even help him look for a place....in other words...let's get you the F outa here and i'll help you do it :)

    imageimageimage

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  • FitMom3510FitMom3510 member
    QFP is done just in case you delete what you posted so we have proof it was really posted. 

    Anyway,

     I had a cousin who lived with me for about 6 months because he was being kicked out of his previous house (should of been a red flag then) but we wanted to help out and had the room. We told him he didn't need to pay rent until he got a job and same with food but he ended up getting food stamps. Well he ended up taking advantage and never even attempted to get a job, would get high all day in the backyard, and come and go as he wanted even though we asked him to try and be home before 12 only reason is the dogs would bark when he came in and wake us up and he also made a mess of everything. So we had it and so I tried to help him find an apartment but that didn't work either so we finally told him that he needed to be out by a certain day (30 days from the notice date) and he ended up leaving before hand so even better! 

    Hope it gets better for you!
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  • doysauzedoysauze member
    souptin said:

    Dear diary....

    Your'e a real jerk
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  • redneckmomma25redneckmomma25 member
    I do have to give her credit for the proper use of you're....
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  • kmparker421kmparker421 member
    angi3o said:

    RHoPA1109 said:


    kmparker421 said:

    My BIL has been living with us since February. He doesn't pay rent, help with utilities or food. We told him we wanted him to use the time to get on his feet and save some money. At first he helped a little bit around the house, but now I feel like my 3rd kid is him. It's driving me crazy! I told my husband I need him out yesterday but he feels to guilty to make him leave. I'm so over having him and his 4 year old (every other weekend and one day a week) in our house!!!



    Are you the same person who posted about their bil leaving bathroom cleaner out and your son drank it?
    I think (if I remember correctly) that was someone else. People just got all sorts of fucked up BIL's lol


    Nope it wasn't me!! I don't have boys, and my BIL doesn't clean...
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  • kmparker421kmparker421 member
    angi3o said:

    If you don't want him there (which obviously you don't) give him 30 days to get out (or whatever your state requires). Why would you feel bad for kicking someone out of YOUR home that is bringing you and your kids down? Sorry, but if he's really had since February that's plenty of time and at this point your not helping him... You're enabling.

    I agree fully. I know we are enabling at this point. My husband feels like we are helping. After a long talk today he agreed that he needs to get out ASAP. I have a list of places for him to call.
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  • kmerkle1kmerkle1 member
    March is cutting it wayyyyy too close.
    Also...My BIL is having his baby before us...so I might be in the clear with the cleaning supplies! Yeaaahhhhhhhh
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